Author Archives: Julianne

Gigantor mama deadline comin up in two days and I ain’t got shit for concentration, what with the cats running around, presenting their needs to me like they’re human babies, and what with the glockers aiming heavenward, and the squeal … Continue reading →

Mom called last night at an inopportune time – 11 pm on a Friday, you don’ wanna know what kinda trouble I was into – and I didn’t answer. I called her back an hour ago. She was en route … Continue reading →

Y’all, Pete “NEW NEW YORKA!” M. and Samhain and Schnippz had me on Fader Radio last night down at the EVR studios and decided that my live-radio shit-talking game is EN POINTE, based on the copious amount of IMs they … Continue reading →

honorable mention: Ms. Keyshia if you nasty got their toes done up wid their fingernails matchin

DUDES WATCH FROM :52 to 2:30 of this video! CW IS SCORCHING MY TV ON THE INTERNET GAME RIGHT NOW! DAN HUMPHREY! woooooo

HELLO FRIENDS! I am like ridiculously busy right now (case in point: launching new website (this fugly-ass thing is not it but stay tuned), launching niche website for fake-awards show / VH-1 talking heads package stamped w/ VIBE Awards, writing … Continue reading →

this is something i started writing about 50/kanye/chesney and never finished. I’m not going to – the moment is dead – but it’s a sketch. It was supposed to be an interrobang column on el horca (aka pitchfork media, a … Continue reading →

Does anyone have a live monkey I can borrow for my Halloween costume? I’ll give it back after the party. A panther would work, too. Hit me up!

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I just walked into the living room, where Mo was gchatting with her brother with the lights off, and halfway through our casj convo, she’s like, “Oh, I saw Dan Humphrey … Continue reading →

ladies and gentlemen, lovers and friends, homies and haters, I present to you the most important journalistic work in a generation: WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE ATTACKED BY MONKEYS. This is, by far, the most encouraging passage: Aggressive city monkeys … Continue reading →