JAY Z AND BRETT RATNER, DO NOT DESTROY THE LAND

Gigantor mama deadline comin up in two days and I ain’t got shit for concentration, what with the cats running around, presenting their needs to me like they’re human babies, and what with the glockers aiming heavenward, and the squeal of tires, big shit poppin w/the mini warring dope boys round the way but what is this, summer? Isn’t it too fucking cold out to be shooting at each other? Wintertime is Ramadan, time to stop the violence in observance of nature. It’s always so strange because they are all so little, the boys, the gold-toothed one hollering constantly, “hey ma, what up beautiful” and my spurn, “I’m old enough to be your mother.” “I’m 28.” “You’re not 28.” “I’m 25.” “If you’re a day over 20 I’m shocked.” etc and then all this dumb side bullshit, the one lady walking up the block all hunchbacked who’s aged in reverse from her provider – he gets younger as she gets older – the lady who’s 40 maybe but looks 75 and has perfected her subway spange game, beggin for coins in the sweetest meek voice like a cat’s mewl, but then when you see her on the block, game face off, she’s all crackling and huffing down cigarettes, carbon mono-nic-fitting thru her barest necessities, racing up the sidewalk like those pant-suited power-walking bitches at the mall in my hometown. Or the dude looks like a lady strung out and kicking it outside the bodega in tight denim pants and aerobic high-top sneakers always, his long wavy blonde hair sometimes augmented with eye shadow and sickly coral pink lipstick. He is a nice fellow though. A little off, his head cocks funny, but nice. And the sassy ass, cool ass 14 year old girls from down the block who won’t even give anyone the time of day and they are so cool. I’ll tell you what though people are poor but it could be much worse. I’ll tell you something else, i love it here, have for the past three years, and if the spate of new restaurants and crappy deli bodega cafes around the corner fuck up the whole neighborhood, I kinna have to blame Jay-Z.
(more at Fans for Fair Play, an organization of basketball fans opposed to how ill and shitty BK will become after Ratner and Shawn Carter dump their Nets Arena in the heart of downtown, bout six blks from my apt)