THE FLAGRANT NONCHALANCE OF THE MOGEOUISIE

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I just walked into the living room, where Mo was gchatting with her brother with the lights off, and halfway through our casj convo, she’s like, “Oh, I saw Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl in Nolita today.”
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god. He is my favorite character! His character is so hot! What was he doing?!”
“Walking. Next to me.”
[I faint]
“And he was wearing really nice clothes. And he was short like everyone else.”
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god. He is SO hot.”
“He’d be hotter with a different haircut. I wish they could just trade haircuts.”
Are we seriously so jaded that we do not feel excitement when witnessing the star bad-boy/cynical artist love interest on the most popular new television show among American teenagers? Seriously? Is living in NYC sucking away our celebrity joie de vivre? Can we not, when we witness a burgeoning young television actor such as Dan Humphrey nee Penn Badgley, simply take a moment to screech passionately, cry, beg for an autograph or a shred of clothing or, at the very least, shout out a snarky cat call i.e., “YO PENN… XOXO!!” Celebrity culture is ruining fun! O the travesty of it all!

PS what kind of name is PENN BADGLEY? Are we in preparatory school, young master?!