Urban Honking

GWAN SAY WA WA

I am fully aware of my desire, some say questionable, to bathe in new jack basics, i.e. seven-layer effects and slow jams 23-6–but I think Amerie and Al B. Sure are the same person, or serving the same purpose in their respective time zones, or at least girl’s “Falling Down My Face” has the same […]

Alone next year, I will: -get better at guitar -stay up later -practice the quiet art of tea-drinking more often -draw pictures of dinosaurs -take breakdancing lessons -spend an inordinate amount of time with my “hands-free” cyborg earpiece socked into my ear -probably cry more often, but not a depressing amount -Have “Ladies Nights” wherein […]

Note to self: become Dadaist? Perf art party at my apartment, RIGHT NOW–BUT YOU HAVE TO FIND IT FIRST! And you don’t get in unless you wear a mask and a tailfeather. We’re going to smear Bliss spa mud on a wall-sized blow-up of Tony Blair. Speaking of radiant skin: tonight some bored friends and […]

Happy birthday to Terrance, whose Portland birthday party I missed, but which earned me FIVE early-morning calls from the left coast. There is a thing called time zones, but god bless you all. Secondly, happy birthday to me and Janet Jackson on May 16. That’s a Monday, and I’m giving you a heads up so […]

My dear friend and ex-housemate, Joe Faustin Kelly, source of many “Julianne, get yourself together, woman!” pep talks–a man who used to go on 2-hour jogs, come home and FRY a can of tuna still wearing his sweaty sweatpants every night–and regaled me with roboto dances whenever we put on mr. de’s “what u like”–is […]

Can the man get some love, please. “You took away my pride” as compliment is truly gangster. On repeat, makes up for missing Mint Condition. All I’m saying is my birthday is coming really soon.