Headlines

I Used To Go To Best Buy All The Time; Once I Had Them Order A VHS Copy Of Raising Arizona For Me So I Could Buy It

Meeting Someone At A Coffee Shop When You Don’t Know What They Look Like

Too Many Bagels

My Dog Smells Like Clean Laundry

Landline Only

Independence Day Furniture Sale

My Dog Had An Intense Dream And Gently Bit My Arm In His Sleep

Reading Reviews Of The New Transformers Movie

The Diary Of Samuel Pepys Forgotten On A Shelf Along With A Bunch Of French Comic Books

He Had No Business Being Out There; No Business

Yesterday While Driving I Thought I Saw An Animal But It Was Just A Hole In The Ground

Drink Wine And Talk About Whether Ideas Are Generated By Material Conditions Or Not

Watch “Red River” And Get Furious Because It’s Maybe The Worst Movie Ever Made

My Dad Loves John Wayne And All I Got Was This Lousy Red River Viewing That Made Me Dumber