About

I am almost finished with a PhD. I like dogs and cats and apples. I like music. I like writing. I am a lady, or woman. Alone among my friends, all comedy connoisseurs, I like Monty Python, both skits and films. I am trying to learn to speak French. I have fallen off a horse. I have eaten moose, though now I am vegetarian. I have never believed in god. I had a car but it broke and now I don’t have a car and it is fine. I read a lot. My eyesight is poor; I wear thick glasses. My struggles are several but do not involve: disability (besides legal blindness); mental illness; eating disorder; abusive childhood; dyslexia; dandruff. I love rain, comedy, writing music, red wine, coffee, and autumn. I hate leaf blowers, David Denby, the global phenomenon of Harry Potter, and college sports. When I grow up-which will be in approximately seven months when I presumably file my dissertation-I want to be a professor. If I had a million dollars, I would get a massage every day, I would get my eyes fixed, I would buy a Nord, and I would only use those fancy pens I used to order when I was a secretary at a law firm but which I am too cheap to buy for myself. Last year I read Cloud Atlas and Infinite Jest in a row and my reading life was changed forever. I love the movie “The Saddest Music in the World.” I can’t read James Joyce, which is understandable, or Virginia Woolf, which isn’t. I live in a patriarchy. I live during strange and scary times (then again, who hasn’t?). I never learned to skateboard. I would like to go on a yoga retreat and not speak for a month. I just saw my friend Callie walking across the street. I would like to write a novel.