The Postmodern Work Experience: Or, Why We Shouldn’t Allow Laptops in Class

– read a page of David Harvey’s book about Postmodernism
– check to see if the wifi is working now
– it’s not
– read another page
– write down some notes
– write tweet about stupid thing person sitting next to you at coffee shop just said
– get distracted reading comedians’ twitter feeds
– read a paragraph of David Harvey
– transcribe entire paragraph into your notes because it seems so important
– text husband about vet appointment
– write tweet about texting husband about vet appointment while trying to read about Postmodernism
– check to see if wifi is working
– it is
– google lyrics of song playing in coffee shop because you can’t remember name of band
– read a page of David Harvey
– write tweet about how much you are loving this David Harvey book
– suddenly remember something you need to put on your to-do list; put it on your to-do list
– get distracted by rest of to-do list
– do a couple other things on to-do list
– remember that you meant to see if you could get some cool flip flops on ebay
– look at flip flops on ebay for awhile
– back to the David Harvey. Read rest of chapter; feel accomplished and smart
– post on Facebook about how you are reading about Postmodernism while posting on Facebook
– Look back through four years of blog entries trying to find inspiration for music essay you want to write
– take phone call from moving company trying to schedule an assessment of how much it will cost to move your belongings across the country
– text husband about appointment you make with moving company
– read text from husband about how he has a dentist appointment at that time
– decide you will deal with it later; back to the David Harvey
– mind wanders to how all these distractions are the reason no one is as smart as Lionel Trilling anymore
– feel bad about self
– remember how you fell asleep last night at a performance of Mahler; feel guilty
– write Facebook post about falling asleep during Mahler and feeling guilty
– write blog entry about writing Facebook post about falling asleep during Mahler and feeling guilty
– see if anyone has “liked” Facebook post about falling asleep during Mahler and feeling guilty
– Decide to read Richard Rorty for awhile
– set alarm to remind self of vet appointment
– this reminds you to email a student back about meeting with him tomorrow
– still haven’t picked up that Rorty
– think about how if there was no internet you’d be fluent in French by now and would have read all of Capital instead of just the first chapter
– think about how to critically engage with postmodern reality of internet without being huge Luddite grouch and/or lazy dilettante
– come to no real conclusions
– reactivate old scholarly blog because maybe that will help you get thoughts in order for new scholarly life
– delete every entry
– stare at blank dashboard
– see if anyone has “liked” Facebook post about falling asleep during Mahler and feeling guilty
– send Katy email with link to video insane person you went to college with posted on Facebook
– look at cover of Rorty book; Rorty looks like a happy person, you wonder if this is true
– sit and stare at case full of pastries; try to figure out whether Ayn Rand is a postmodernist or if she’s just on her own planet in terms of philosophy
– continue writing stream-of-consciousness blog entry serving no purpose in the world
– google image “dog wearing clothes”