JSYK

I want to go home and work in the yard
by “work in the yard” I mean “stand in the yard”
and maybe also “look at the things I planted in the yard yesterday”
and by “things” I mean “places where I put seeds that may become things in 10-15 days”
Also by “stand in the yard” I unfortunately mean “be attacked by swirling hordes of flying ants”
what is the deal with the flying ants, my Portland homies, does anyone know?
The guy at the garden store was raging about it too

I want to go home and wash the snoopy
except he needs his flea medicine, and I like to wash him after the flea medicine because the flea medicine is gross
I want to go home and put flea medicine on the snoopy

(medicine for the snoopy; not for the fleas (the medicine kills the fleas (I keep typing “flears”)))

I want to go home and listen to Kate Bush real loud
I want to go home and take off these ballet flats that make my feet smelly
I want to go home and put on JEAN SHORTS
And drink a mint julep, and I don’t even know what that is
And get my ice cube trays ready for iced espresso after their winter spent empty
And find my sunscreen where I stuck it in some cabinet
And pitch the ball outside so far that the snoopy runs a million miles to fetch it in the sunshine

Except oops I looked outside and it’s foggy and rainy. OH PORTLAND, YOU FICKLE BITCH, HOW I LOVE YOU