July 2007 Archives

Occasionally life passages require dramatic, indulgent celebrations. Since we — the two baby men behind Hot Knives — both turned a quarter-of-a-century-old this year, we’re starting to forlornly dig the passage of time enough that we can get Dionysian once in a while for special occasions. Like last week. We partook in an out-of-control, meat-free, 7-course tasting menu meal that cost more than our monthly rent, just to toast to recent good fortunes: Celebrate good times, c’mon.

The brewers at Pizza Port know this. To celebrate their 15th anniversary, they brewed a new imperial double IPA by adding one of 15 different kinds of hops to a bubbling cauldron every 15 minutes. The result is Hop 15, breathtakingly badass, and not as much of a Frankenstein beer as you might imagine. Compared to some triple IPAs, this orange-hued brew is downright balanced. Of course the immediate first note is a chomping bite of hop flavors — a well-rounded and complex mouthful of zesty, earthy, and floral notes firing all at once. Piney notes win out over sugar, which we tend to like. The lingering aftertaste is fresh, even relatively clean tasting, reminiscent of a sea breeze through a field of pine trees. Tender.

Dairy Pairy: Roquefort
Soundtrack: Modest Mouse’s “Head South”

Avery Brewing Company is probably the best argument in favor of southwestern beer superiority. In terms of flavor, packaging, and lunacy, their beers rank highly in our little pantheon of liquid love. For anyone outside of the exteded four corners area, you’re seriously missing out. Oak aged barley wines? 15% abv. stouts? Imperial Oktoberfest Lager? Every year this brewery churns out beautiful bombers that make our tender clutches quake when we spot them in reachin refrigerators. If the full line were available in southern California we would have a stronger tolerance for booze.

In years past, the Avery Anniversary Ale has run the gamut from a beautiful Bock last year, to the still wishfully remembered Ten (10 hops, 10 malts, 110 IBU’s, 10% alc. by vol.) This year’s offering, a dry hopped dark ale, can be summarily described as “a fucking mouthful.”

The ale pours a deep mahogany color, reminiscent of many great imperial reds currently en vogue on the west coast. Bubbles abound in miniature infinities. Though they are never strong enough to form a lasting head these little armies arise at the mildest agitation and swirl so invitingly as to desire intimate knowledge of their physics. Think lacing that makes you want to remove your trousers…

While we did at first whine that we once again were deprived the depravity of an Avery Anniversary IPA, the complexity of this beer surprised and awed us into submission. In the nose this guy is full of red fruits, spices, and chocolate. The first sip is an explosion of malts that some abyss colored stouts barely achieve which fades directly into a full flavored dry hop finish. Dump this dude into a big glass with plenty of room for swirling and sniffing. You'll find yourself contemplating its various flavor profiles like some kind of drunken pre-Socratic.

The 14 proves no ale is too dark for summer. Find this beer; wait until sunset, slow down.

Dairy Pairy: Beemster Classic (Or the eldest Gouda you can find. 16 months minimum.)
Soundtrack: Ethiopiques 21

Being brunch geeks, hollandaise sauce has caused us a great deal of pain. The evil goo of egg yolks and clarified butter escapes any true vegan interpretation. Still, we’ve settled on a replacement we’re quite happy with: creamy polenta jacked with vegetable stock, shallots, garlic and fake butter. The enveloping amoeba-like blob of the polenta acts almost like true hollandaise skin overtaking a runny egg. Even if the taste isn’t accurate, it’s damn fine.

We’ve prepared it two ways below: Eggs Benedict (protein heavy) and Eggs Florentine (produce heavy). Both are sticky, salty, rich and belt-loosening breakfasts to be sure. For the Benedict, leave the polentaise a little soupy (more liquid), for the Florentine a little firmer (less liquid). The recipe for "polentaise" will make enough for 8-10 people but we suggest putting leftover polenta in a can or jar where it can congeal. Then simply cut off pieces for meals later in the week.

“Polentaise” Sauce

1 head garlic
1/2 white onion
4 shallots
1/4 cup vegan margarine
4 cups vegetable stock
1 tsp. Tapatio (or comparable hot sauce)
1 cup polenta meal (not the instant shit)
Sea salt and black pepper to taste

1. Peel and finely chop the garlic, onion and shallots. Add both to a large pot on medium heat with the margarine. In a different pot, bring 3 cups of water to a boil (to create a double boiler for later.)

2. After 4-5 minutes of cooking the onion mixture, add the stock and bring to a boil. Dash with hot sauce and stir. Then add the polenta slowly while continuing to stir, and when evenly distributed remove from heat.

3. The other pot should be boiling by now. Place a large metal bowl that fits snugly on top of the boiling pot. Dump the thickening polenta into the bowl to continue cooking in the double boiler.

4. Begin whisking thoroughly every few seconds for about 10-12 minutes. The mixture should thicken into a batter-like consistency. After 5 minutes if it seems a little too cakey, if it’s sticking to the whisk, add a couple Tablespoons of the boiling water from the pot. Repeat as necessary until the granules of the polenta are dissolved and you’re left with a creamy goo. Season with salt and pepper. Serve immediately.

Eggs Benedict

2 English muffins
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1 large tomato
4 1-inch thick slabs extra firm tofu
1 tsp. smoked salt
1 tsp. smoked paprika
1/3 cup soupier polenta
1 green onion, chopped

1. Separate and toast muffins.

2. Sauté the garlic in oil using a small pan. Cut 4 thick slabs of tomato and toss in pan. Cook on one side only, for about 4-5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Remove and set aside.

3. In same pan, sauté tofu slabs until brown, about 2 minutes on each side. Season with smoked salt and paprika before flipping.

4. Set muffins on a plate, placing a tomato slice on each followed by tofu slab. Then douse in polenta sauce. Garnish with green onion and add dash more of smoked paprika for color.

Eggs Florentine

2 English muffins
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbs. olive oil
1 large tomato
1 Tsp. smoked salt
1 Tsp. white pepper
1/4 cup stock
the zest of half of a lemon
1 Tbs. apple cider vinegar
2 cups spinach, washed
1/3 cup thicker “polentaise”

1. Separate and toast muffins.

2. Sauté the garlic in oil using a small pan. Cut 4 thick slabs of tomato and toss in pan. Cook on one side only, for about 4-5 minutes. Season with smoked salt and white pepper. Remove and set aside.

3. Heat the same pan again and add a dash more oil and the stock. Season with salt and pepper and the lemon zest. Add the vinegar and toss in spinach to cook for 2-3 minutes or until wilted but still green.

4. Set muffins on a plate, add scoops of thick polenta. Place one tomato on top of each followed by a plop of spinach.

Beverage: Lagunitas’ Saison
Soundtrack: Juice Team DJ’s “Rodcast #4”

The Sonoma Farmhouse series is a new line of beers brewed by the bad dudes of the central coast. Lagunitas’ beers usually rank on the heavier side boasting brutal bitterness, and large alcohol percentages. The first two farm hands are milder affairs, with temperate booze levels and heavy-handed subtlety. At a meeting of the minds on Alex’s front porch, we discussed the new ilk of a collective old flame with Greg Buss and Mike Meanstreetz, both hardened Lagunitas cherishers. After eight bombers and two bowls of peanuts we were drunk, and fairly certain that we love these new beers.

While the brewery said that the Sonoma Farmhouses weren’t really available outside their homeland, reports of the Saison’s presence in beer stores abound from Highland Park to Azusa. No sightings of the Hop Stoopid (except our stash), but bug your beer-mongers. If you annoy them, they’ll annoy their distributors, and with luck you'll find these bombers on familiar shelves.

Saison Style

At 5.3% alcohol and barely recognizable hop character, the Saison style stays on the side of the discernibly summer. It’s a refreshing session beer with an aftertaste that evokes both corona and saltine crackers. The front of the flavor profile is well balanced with a particularly pleasant yeastiness, with hints of citrus and black pepper. Mass production of this brew certainly took a steady hand. The subtlety of the Saison might not be for every die hard Lagunitas fan, but for the rest of the world this might be your new favorite after work chiller, or a permanent resident for your floating beer cozy (will someone please invent them?). Just don’t let anyone put lime in it.

Dairy Pairy: Sarah’s Nevat
Soundtrack: Brian Jonestown Massacre: “Talk-Action=Shit”

Hop Stoopid

Unlike the Saison, which you should only slam during a warm day, Hop Stoopid fills the heavy boots of the Lagunitas repertoire. Our assumption would be that a brew with such a boastful name would be a triple-imperial-something, rearing to kick our teeth through our noses with booze and hops. Not really the case here. The hops combo does run all over the gamut, from the pinesap of the northwest to the medicine man intensity of the southern lords. In the nostrils this brew smells of total IPA glory. But, like its aforementioned brethren, this brew’s innermost attributes are pretty chilled out. All of your beer senses are immediately inundated but then released in a very surprising, but fulfilling manner. Think Green Flash Imperial IPA with more complexity. The lightning speed of the hop flavor progression immediately gives way to the super smooth balenced malts, really hiding the booze in this one: it only comes out if you sip at just below room temperature.

Dairy Pairy: Affidelice Au Chablis
Soundtrack: Gang of Four “Anthrax”

Here in L.A., the fish wrap of record — for restaurant reviews as much as for local news — remains the Los Angeles Times. Every Wednesday we skip the front page over coffee and turn straight to the weekly Food section. Though wincingly pedigreed at times, most of the critiques and recipe writing are juicy, educational and in step with leading trends. Plus the pictures are food porn perfect.

Last month, the food section launched a blog, called “The Daily Dish” — the latest in the paper’s interactive campaign to beef up its web publishing (and advertising revenue). We got giddy at first, revved at the idea that the Times food writers we read every week would be joining the blogosphere, granting readers and other food bloggers a discussion forum larger than most of our individual blogs. But after watching the blog for the last week or two, we’re not sure the editorial staff really wants to be blogging, and if they even know what the implications of that are, or whether these old-school print journalism foodies are being forced by management to half-heartedly blog. At least from the interaction we’ve had with the site it seems that the project is just the latest in a string of sorry, superficial makeovers rather than monumental shifts at the paper.

If you asked the Times lead restaurant critic S. Irene Virbila (known in some kitchen circles as “the Snake”) what she thought the purpose of the blog was, what would she say? Hard to tell: So far she’s mostly shared tips for obscure wines. Other writers have chimed in with advice on hot spots and products, not far from what they offer weekly in the paper, except for heightened level of restaurant gossip. Are these staffers interested in getting feedback, comments and even tips from their devoted foodie readers? Are they interested in building relationships with the dozens of established food bloggers who already cover kitchen equipment, French cheese, dessert recipes and beer in a non-competitive, information-share environment?

Nope, not interested.

We recently commented on a posting by beverage writer Charles Perry. (Read full exchange here.) He does the beer and spirits, so we’ve read his byline closely in the past. A week ago he gave a lengthy recommendation for “The Beer Guppy’s Guide to Southern California,” by Jay Sheveck. It’s one of those comprehensive bible to the beer scene kinda things. We respectfully suggested that the number of beer blogs that cover L.A. and SoCal are also great resources for free. We listed a couple like Hair of the Dog Dave, Beer Chick, and ours. Since “The Daily Dish” links to only the most mainstream of L.A. food blogs we figured it’d be worth pointing readers to. (Six hours later our comment finally got published.)

And Perry did not agree. Though blogs can be “updated instantly,” he responded, “they are still a long way from replacing books. So far, no beer blog I've seen even tries to be a comprehensive reference.” He had a point, beer bloggers of all people are not known to painstakingly collect hours of operation, they generally will link to a breweries website where all that information sits instead. We felt that missed the larger point: that there are hundreds of blogs that people can peruse for different opinions, for insider tips, for feature writing on brewery tours, for homebrew advice; all the stuff that this one thin volume attempts to wrap with a bow. In the print version of the paper, we would never expect blog mention, but why not online?

“What is often missed in this print-to-blog mentality,” we commented, “is that one ‘definitive’ source rarely beats 1,000 sources.”

No further comments from Perry (or any other readers for that matter) until a day later when this email turns up in the Hot Knives inbox, presumably by accident! It seems to be email correspondence from Perry to a web editor who asked about the exchange. Either way it reeks of condescension.

“This guy is getting tiresome. I know he wants us to pay attention to blogs, but in this context what they're doing is totally different from what Sheveck's book is doing, so why should we? And his big point doesn't impress me much. If you've got the time to comb through a thousand sources, and the energy to evaluate them, more power to you. If not, life goes on. I think this is a rather young person.”

If leaving 2 comments, not much more than 100 words, makes us “tiresome,” that doesn’t bode well for Perry’s career as a blogger. And if he really wants to pull the age card and paint himself as a geezer Republican, that’s his choice.

It says a lot about where he is coming from. He’s used to being the on-high editorial judgment about all things beverage for the biggest paper on the West Coast and he doesn’t have to listen to, or engage, the wise-ass suggestions of a couple eager-to-discuss-beer readers. Blogging, by this view, will always be inferior because it’s the practice of non-professionals and gives voice to many people’s opinions rather than a few. That’s fine. We just always thought that’s what blogs had going for them.

We wish Charles Perry good luck teaching himself a new trick and will return to perusing our peers’ good-natured discussion of food and beer.

On a recent trip north for a wedding, Lake and Alex burned some time and bought some bombers at the Petaluma digs of Lagunitas brewing company. Lagunitas’ beers have been long time faves of your favorite beer snobs, and it was a real treat to get a peek at the industrial side of their full bore brews.

Unlike Stone’s monolith of a production center cum-hedonist-compound, Lagunitas’ location has more of a factory vibe. Too early and without time for the regular tour, the Brewery’s secretary Stephanie gave an awesome walk around, offering a chance to see, and show you, the mechanical workings of a fast growing super-brewery.

The video shows the Lagunitas means of production in full swing, with their chilled out crew rocking hard to death rocker/horror director Rob Zombie’s late 90’s jams. In the background, you can see the outlines of what Stephanie told us was a three day supply for the growing giant: over 80 pallets of beer.

Stay tuned for reviews of what we brought back…

If you think we're turning on the fucking oven in July, you're nuts. However, a man cannot throw a pizza party on macaroni salad alone, so we did this. And it worked! Thanx to Lesley, Michael and Greg "Summer Babe" Buss for making this happen. Tips on how to actually do it below. In the meantime, familiarize yourselves with "Chelado-style."

Smoked Pizza

1 serving of pre-made dough
1 Tbs. corn meal
1cup fontina and parmesan cheese (optional)
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 head garlic, peeled only
1 lbs. asparagus spears
1 lbs. crimini mushrooms
3/4 cup marinara
6 - 8 1-inch rounds of fresh mozzarella (optional)
1/4 cup mixture of fresh rosemary and lemon thyme
Sea salt and black pepper to taste

Equipment:
Grill, tin foil, spatula, swimming pool

1. Since you're going to be placing this pizza on a hot-ass grill for no more than 5 or 6 minutes, the dough needs to be pre-baked. Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. Pound it out (or buy it store-made) and stretch it onto a large pan or pizza stone that you've oiled and tossed with a pinch of cornmeal. If lactose is cool, throw on 1/4 cup of the shredded fontina and parmesan for that "it's not delivery, it's Digourna" look. Bake for 15 minutes.

2. Peel your garlic, but don't chop, and sauté cloves on low in a sauce pot with olive oil. At the same time, bisect your asparagus spears, splitting in half lengthwise, so they're super skinny. Bring a pot of heavily salted water to boil and toss in asparagus for 2 minutes, so just barely tender. Strain and remove.

3. Cool your pizza crust and garlic (save the oil for something else) and cut your mushrooms, herbs and optional mozzarella. (If you're not using cheese, throw on artichoke hearts, raddiocchio or hearts of palm or other extra toppings that will go well with the smokiness of a barbecue).

4. Heat your grill. Take a dip in the pool and a hit of the bottle. Dry off. Put something more substantial than flip-flops on. Make sure coals have cooked off initial flames.

5. Prepare your pizza by covering with sauce, shredded cheese, veggies, mozzarella and herbs. Cover the grill with tin foil (do not grease!) and then transfer pizza carefully. Cover the grill and cook for about 6-8 minutes, checking often. Once dough starts to blacken in places on the bottom, you gotta move quick. Transfer back to a flat surface, cut and serve.

Beverage: Miller Chill (it's not good!)
Soundtrack: Boyd Rice's Music for Pussycats

The classic, wet, hot, American pool party would seem to be all about exclusivity. That sucks, a lot. So we brought a classy American side dish that tastes totally inclusive: even if you hate eggs and can't eat wheat without vomming (we keep meaning to throw more wheat-free recipes out there). This macaroni salad tastes best after a full night marinating in its own juices, but hey, sometimes the party can't wait. More disgusting pool potluck action on the way...

Macaroni Salad

Serves 8-10

1 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
4 cups elbow brown rice pasta
1 cup veganaise
1 Tbs. Dijon mustard
1 Tbs. whole grain mustard
3 - 4 roasted whole tomatoes, chopped
3 - 4 hearts of palm, chopped
1 cup bread and butter pickles, roughly chopped
2 green onions, chopped
2 shallots, finely chopped
1 jalapeño, finely chopped
Sea salt and black pepper to taste

1. Cook your rice pasta with enough time to chill your finished salad for at least 2, and up to 24, hours. Bring a medium pot to boil with olive oil and a dash of salt, then add pasta. Stir immediately and every couple of minutes because rice likes to stick to itself. Cook for about 8 minutes or until al dente. Rinse and set aside.

2. Mix the veganainse and both mustards. Chop all other ingredients. Once pasta has cooled for a few minutes, combine all in a large bowl. Season and store in the fridge to get chilly.

Beverage: Tito's vodka w/ lime
Soundtrack: The Who's "Magic Bus"

Dear Readerz,

Out of civic duty — and not mean spirits — we feel compelled to respectfully call out one of the leading vegan fast food joints in the L.A. area for a sad case of misrepresentation. Orean Health Express, often hailed as the Eastside mecca of realistic meat-like drive through cuisine, is fronting, hardcore.

First, full disclosure: Hot Knives is not a strictly vegan blog, nor have we ever postured ourselves as such. Occasionally we offer vegetarian recipes that hinge on questionable ingredients like cage-free eggs, French cheese and honey (which we’d still love to open up to a discussion about vegan ethics if anyone’s down for helping us hammer out a stance on the subject of said gooey nectar). We prefer to focus on vegan food, because of the challenge posed and the golden politics behind such a diet. We know how much a clean palate and strict diet regiment means to many of our readers. And we think there’s something rotten about false advertising — in this case, posing as a vegan establishment and then serving unsuspecting diners egg and dairy products. It’s not a cardinal sin, per se, we won’t rule out eating there, but it’s certainly worth alerting others who may feel differently…

Since first feasting on the fruits of Orean more than six years ago, we’ve long extolled the North Pasadena fast food stand as being the pinnacle of imitating the vein-clogging American pastime. The fake meats are juicy yet the clover sprouts are bountiful. The cheese melts, and has long been rumored to contain the offending casein. Still, we included them in a “top ten” vegan dish shout-out earlier this year and have used them as inspiration in vegan fast food exploits. A sign posted at the restaurant and on their website, claims to contain “no egg or milk” and to use “non-dairy cheese.” However, recently it came to our attention that many of the products they serve are Morning Star Farms brand, and thereby not only far from healthy, but completely non-vegan.

After repeated requests for what kind of hot dog they serve (they’re scary good) one employee finally spilled the beans to us. So if you eat strictly vegan, we advise you steer clear of Orean Health Express, or better yet ask them to come clean to their customer or else buy products from Yves or other vegan-friendly companies. For any company that makes much of its profit off of vegans, its unacceptable to lie about the ingredients used. That’s our take anyway.

People like steak and eggs. As we understand it. First there’s the gnarly char of a gristly piece of mediocre, trounced-on red meat. Then you top it with the ooze of some barely-above-temperature chicky eggs. Sounds to us, like kind of a nightmare. But hey, one dudes’ nightmare is another dude’s Saturday belly bomb.

Since we’ve had so much surplus seitan lying around lately (last Sunday we baked 6 loaves) it seemed the perfect time to whip up an alternative to the aforementioned greasy spoon staple.

In place of eggs we seared some firm tofu and topped it with slurpy, golden heirloom tomato slices. We’re still drawing up complicated design schemes for inserting the tomatoes into sliced tofu so look for that addition later.

Seitan and “Eggs”

Makes 2 servings

1 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
2 1/2-inch slabs of seitan
1 yellow heirloom tomato
1 shallot
2 clove garlic
1 scallion
1 tsp. nutritional yeast
1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
1/2 block tofu
1 Tbs. vegan margarine
sea salt and black pepper to taste
1/2 cup mixed greens
pinch of dill

1. Add half of the olive oil to a medium sized non-stick pan, heat on high and sauté the seitan until its brown, for about 2 minutes on each side. Set aside while you prepare the “eggs.”

2. Slice tomatoes into four thick slices, cut shallots and mince garlic. Add the rest of the oil to the still-hot pan. Place back on medium heat and toss in tomatoes, garlic and shallots. Let cook for five minutes on one side so as to get a little gooey. Dice scallion finely and toss on top with nutritional yeast and vinegar (tilt pan to let vinegar cook off a little). Season with salt and pepper as desired. Then slide onto an extra plate to set aside.

3. Add vegan margarine to same pan and place on medium heat again. Cut two slabs of tofu to mimic the size of the seitan and add to hot pan. Saute the tofu for 4-5 minutes on each side while seasoning. Turn on high heat at end to get extra crispy skin.

4. Plate the seitan first, on top of a pile of mixed greens, followed by the tofu slabs, the pinch of dill, and finally the tomato with all of its juices. Dig in.

Beverage: 100% cranberry concentrate on ice
Soundtrack: Murder City Devils’ Empty Bottles, Broken Hearts

There is, according to Jules Verne (among other Frenchies), a fleeting visual phenomenon that accompanies a warm summer sunset — he called it “le rayon vert,” the green ray, or perhaps more literally “the green flash.” By his description, the green ray was a split second flash of emerald light just as the sun dips below the horizon. Explored by master of the mundane Eric Rohmer in his 1986 film (the classically understated “Summer” as it was called in its American release), the green ray was quite literally illusive, and figurative for the love that Rohmer’s protagonist is missing until the last seconds of the film.

Suffice it to say, we loved Green Flash’s Imperial IPA. It even lived up to the deeply dorky metaphor that the brewery name references: the bitter bursts of this classic San Diego-style IPA were wonderfully fleeting, momentarily arresting and then — zap — gone from the palate.

First came a hint of raspberry zing, followed by the frothy alcohol sting and finally a quick, mellow effervescence, noticeably skipping the sickly sweet linger. This IPA is not an envelope-pusher exactly, but it is an iconic standard. And whereas some stronger IPAs (Moylan’s Hopsickle, Avery’s Maharajah) are tough to slug in summer heat, this one went down like hop soda pop. Which is not to say its an unchallenging bottle.

Our friend Julie, a French Canadian with a thirst for lagers and Eric Rohmer films had this to say about the hoppy green flash the beer emitted: “I’m hoping I could eat sausage right now because the fat of the sausage would take the bitterness away!”

Dairy Pairy: Morbier
Soundtrack: Brian Eno’s Another Green World