“Polentaise” Two Ways

Being brunch geeks, hollandaise sauce has caused us a great deal of pain. The evil goo of egg yolks and clarified butter escapes any true vegan interpretation. Still, we’ve settled on a replacement we’re quite happy with: creamy polenta jacked with vegetable stock, shallots, garlic and fake butter. The enveloping amoeba-like blob of the polenta acts almost like true hollandaise skin overtaking a runny egg. Even if the taste isn’t accurate, it’s damn fine.
We’ve prepared it two ways below: Eggs Benedict (protein heavy) and Eggs Florentine (produce heavy). Both are sticky, salty, rich and belt-loosening breakfasts to be sure. For the Benedict, leave the polentaise a little soupy (more liquid), for the Florentine a little firmer (less liquid). The recipe for “polentaise” will make enough for 8-10 people but we suggest putting leftover polenta in a can or jar where it can congeal. Then simply cut off pieces for meals later in the week.

“Polentaise” Sauce

1 head garlic
1/2 white onion
4 shallots
1/4 cup vegan margarine
4 cups vegetable stock
1 tsp. Tapatio (or comparable hot sauce)
1 cup polenta meal (not the instant shit)
Sea salt and black pepper to taste
1. Peel and finely chop the garlic, onion and shallots. Add both to a large pot on medium heat with the margarine. In a different pot, bring 3 cups of water to a boil (to create a double boiler for later.)
2. After 4-5 minutes of cooking the onion mixture, add the stock and bring to a boil. Dash with hot sauce and stir. Then add the polenta slowly while continuing to stir, and when evenly distributed remove from heat.
3. The other pot should be boiling by now. Place a large metal bowl that fits snugly on top of the boiling pot. Dump the thickening polenta into the bowl to continue cooking in the double boiler.
4. Begin whisking thoroughly every few seconds for about 10-12 minutes. The mixture should thicken into a batter-like consistency. After 5 minutes if it seems a little too cakey, if it’s sticking to the whisk, add a couple Tablespoons of the boiling water from the pot. Repeat as necessary until the granules of the polenta are dissolved and you’re left with a creamy goo. Season with salt and pepper. Serve immediately.

Eggs Benedict

2 English muffins
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1 large tomato
4 1-inch thick slabs extra firm tofu
1 tsp. smoked salt
1 tsp. smoked paprika
1/3 cup soupier polenta
1 green onion, chopped
1. Separate and toast muffins.
2. Sauté the garlic in oil using a small pan. Cut 4 thick slabs of tomato and toss in pan. Cook on one side only, for about 4-5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Remove and set aside.
3. In same pan, sauté tofu slabs until brown, about 2 minutes on each side. Season with smoked salt and paprika before flipping.
4. Set muffins on a plate, placing a tomato slice on each followed by tofu slab. Then douse in polenta sauce. Garnish with green onion and add dash more of smoked paprika for color.

Eggs Florentine

2 English muffins
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbs. olive oil
1 large tomato
1 Tsp. smoked salt
1 Tsp. white pepper
1/4 cup stock
the zest of half of a lemon
1 Tbs. apple cider vinegar
2 cups spinach, washed
1/3 cup thicker “polentaise”
1. Separate and toast muffins.
2. Sauté the garlic in oil using a small pan. Cut 4 thick slabs of tomato and toss in pan. Cook on one side only, for about 4-5 minutes. Season with smoked salt and white pepper. Remove and set aside.
3. Heat the same pan again and add a dash more oil and the stock. Season with salt and pepper and the lemon zest. Add the vinegar and toss in spinach to cook for 2-3 minutes or until wilted but still green.
4. Set muffins on a plate, add scoops of thick polenta. Place one tomato on top of each followed by a plop of spinach.
Beverage: Lagunitas’ Saison
Soundtrack: Juice Team DJ’s “Rodcast #4”