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In this Discussion
- 1234 March 2012
- Cherry_Pie March 2012
- Chuck November 2011
- Clever_girl March 2012
- ed_chigliak March 2012
- flossy_log_lady March 2012
- joey December 2011
- Judar_Spitzer November 2011
- Leland March 2012
- Loose_Thread March 2012
- Lucy March 2012
- MirandaJuly March 2012
- swamp_knobbler_mahan December 2011
- YoursTruly March 2012
Fancy Ladies and their Fancy Lady Problems (again)
I am usually so regular Downstairs but the last two months have been brutal!! Lat month: such a looong visit from Aunt Florence, this month, so early and so intense!! Is this what it means to be off the pill??! I had to run to Albertson's at recess for supplies! I chart my cycles with a fance iphone app which is generally so helpful and accurate, but today Florence came 3 days early and caught me completely unprepared. Though in retrospect I did on Monday say to a friend "I have felt like crying all day and I don't know why! Everything's going really well!" And then I teared up. Also sore boobs. Also retaining water. Also a mysterious stomach ache. Perhaps there were some clues that my cycle would be different this month.
Also the products available at Albertson's are less than ideal. Many scented products. I do not want fragrance in my products!! No!
Also the products available at Albertson's are less than ideal. Many scented products. I do not want fragrance in my products!! No!
Comments
GRAPHIC
Ok can we talk about how recently you went off the pill? If it has only been a few months then yes, I think this is going-off-pill-related nonsense and will probably even out over time. But if you've been off the pill for longer than, I don't know, 6-8 months, and this is just now happening, then probably something else is going on with your hormones.
I think it takes our bodies a REALLY REALLY LONG TIME to get back into a place of balance after going off the pill. I had a full 12 months of pretty gnarly acne after going off the pill, when I've never had acne in my entire life. It was a full fucking year, and nothing I did helped, I just had to ride it out. The same could easily be true with your cycle.
so tell us how long ago you went off the pill and maybe we can go from there.
Also I think sometimes stuff is weird down there regardless, and you always need to wait a few months before jumping to any conclusions anyway---there are probably lots of weird reasons your cycle could get fucked up but then right itself.
So this could be the case for you, and it's just now manifesting because you've been on the pill so long. However a doctor should check your thyroid or whatever before you decide to just accept it!
It could be called DOUBLE X
Wait, we're the ones with two Xs right, and boys are XY? Oh god what if I have it wrong
we have the hairpin!
also I think the dudes learn good things from reading our lady-threads...
Either it is just your body dealing with the August back-on-pill situation, or it's just a weird couple of months for you for some unknown/unknowable reason, or something's wrong with your hormones and you should go to the doctor.
Since you have a real job and health insurance, I say just pop in to the doc! And then literally say "what's up doc"
Today at the gym I looked in the mirror naked and suddenly saw for the first time a vision of what kind of old lady I'm going to be. Scrawny/skeletal. Some old ladies are sort of soft and luxurious but I'm gonna be one of the ropy ones with the weird collarbones and the enormous support shoes. SOONER THAN YOU THINK
You may call me Professor Skeletor when I am old
There's also XXY: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Klinefelter's_syndrome
And XXX: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Triple_X_syndrome
Mind blown. Sorry to get off topic!
YT- I would way rather have a ropey, taut old lady bod than the mushy/saggy one I'm destined for! You'll be all Georgia O'Keefe-y which is so rad!!!
http://thehairpin.com/slug/how-to-be-a-girl
Many ladies I know use this as their only form of birth control. I read about it on the Planned Parenthood website and it's as effective as condoms "when used correctly." It's not as effective as the Pill, but it doesn't mess with your hormones or make you deal with gross latex.
What do you ladies think?
"when used correctly" means:
1. Your dude has ZERO PRECUM, which, how can you ever be certain? Precum has guys in it; most dudes have some amount of precum at some point, even if only every once in awhile...
2. Your dude pulls out before ANYTHING comes out WHATSOEVER, every single time, which, how can you ever be certain? Things are going great, emotions are running high, maybe one time he mis-times it and then you're standing in line at 3 in the morning trying to get Plan B from a shitty Pharmacist who won't give it to you because they think Jesus is coming.
I think both these things being 100% every time is highly unlikely. I think this is the method you should use when you are in a committed relationship and wouldn't mind too terribly if you got knocked up.
Another thing I conceptually don't like about the withdrawal method is that it puts it all on the dude--it puts all the control over the BC decision into his hands, and takes it out of yours, which I would not like at all.
Maybe I'm wrong--I'm no hoo-ha scientist--but I'd be pretty scared to use this as my BC.
HOWEVER, one caveat would be if you used the withdrawal method IN ADDITION to charting. Because charting can show you pretty definitively when you are fertile and when not. I think as a COMBO that would be a very effective BC method.
Anybody disagree? What are some other points, or scientific facts, I am overlooking?
Otherwise I don't know- definitely should be used in tandem with charting so that you can double up during fertile times. And you have to trust your partner to withdraw on time every time which is scary. But I like the idea of not relying on products or prescriptions to prevent pregnancy.
I had a knee-jerk reaction against it as well but some of my friends have been using it exclusively for years without any problems. I don't know!
I think charting is probably 99% of the effectiveness rate, if your answer to the above is yes. I know people who chart ONLY, and don't pull out at all (but just use jimmies during fertile times, or abstain), for years, and are cool!
I don't really know what I'm talking about, and actually Planned Parenthood knows way more than me, obviously. But I'm just really surprised to hear such an organization advocate this method in any way, since their usual message is more like "condoms plus the pill plus plan B every time you fuck" (exaggeration). So I don't know!
I guess I'd just be so terrified the dude wouldn't pull out (or hadn't had time to clean it out down there with a good pee, or whatever) that I wouldn't enjoy myself, but I am paranoid about these things. I mean, I don't even do the charting method, which intellectually I KNOW is perfectly awesome.
Ugh
There is no good option for BC, in my opinion, and it's a total bummer. I hate all the options.
Charting + Diaphragm (pretty low impact) + Withdrawl should get you pretty close to hormone and condom-free sex with low risk of babies. Condoms for the other times of the month.
"Withdrawal is a much more effective birth control method than most sex advisers are comfortable acknowledging. But facts are facts: A comprehensive study conducted by researchers at the Guttmacher Institute found that withdrawal was almost as effective a birth control option as condoms. ("Better Than Nothing or Savvy Risk-Reduction Practice? The Importance of Withdrawal," Contraception, June 2009.)
"If the male partner withdraws before ejaculation every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, about 4% of couples will become pregnant over the course of a year," the authors of the study wrote. That compares pretty favorably with the 2 percent of straight couples who will become pregnant using condoms perfectly over the course of a year.
In the real world, of course, very few people do anything perfectly. When you take mistakes, leaks, and broken condoms into account, researchers estimate that 17 percent of straight couples who rely on condoms will become pregnant in any given year. Not all withdrawers use withdrawal perfectly, either—amazingly enough, some guys get distracted and forget to pull out as their orgasms approach—but the research shows that just 18 percent of straight couples who use withdrawal will get pregnant in any given year."
I think an additional negative feeling I have to it, though, is that it just seems like a sucky way to have sex. Having to pull out and awkwardly do it all over the sheets seems like a bummer for everybody--having to make sure to keep it in your mind the whole time you're fucking seems harsh! "it's about to happen, don't forget to pull out, don't forget!!!!"
YUCK! MY CALL!
From PP:
" If women always use the diaphragm as directed, 6 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
If women don't always use the diaphragm as directed, 12 out of 100 will become pregnant each year."
Not as bad as you're making it out to be.
Also, withdrawl can be like: we have sex for a while before putting on a condom. Then it's not such an issue of "I HAVE TO TIME THIS RIGHT AND I'M GONNA MAKE THE SHEETS GROSS."
I still hold strong on thinking the diaphragm is a creeper. But the Keeper gives me pains so all I can imagine is trying to have a nice sexy time with a giant hunk of plastic jammed up in there. WTF!
Why aren't there better options?! Must we all get surgery
I think whatever works for you is great, and no method is 100% except abstinence, which, who's kidding themselves with that one amirite? So if pill works, great. If creeper diaphragm works, great. Withdrawal too!
So much of it is about psychology. I'd be scared to rely on withdrawal but it's like, if you aren't scared, then go for it, because it's probably no worse than jimmies, really.
I have been swayed.
My parents know a guy who got his vasectomy in his doctor-friend's garage. I think like 99% of the time it is the mellowest procedure. Oh, I also know a guy our age who just got one. He said it was way mellower than he'd even expected.
Also you have to jerk off like 30 times in the week after you get it done or something crazy like that. It's literally like your homework, to clean it all out of there. YOU LEARN SOMETHING EVERY DAY
If it weren't for the possibility of PVPS, I'd get a vasectomy tomorrow. But it seems too risky to me.
I don't blame you
I know several ladies who swear by their modern, non-catastrophic IUDs. They last for like ten years! Also, some of them don't even have hormones in them, they just rely on triggering your body's own anti-baby substances and magic of copper, which is somehow spermicidal. I've been thinking about making the switch.
If you are in a committed, exclusive relationship, then cool, take yr chances with pull-out or IUD or whatever.
But if you aren't, SLAP A JIMMY CAP ON IT!
AIDS and Herpes and SYPHILIS are REAL, yo. With a lot of STDs men can be asymptomatic and pass it on to you with serious consequences. Condoms won't fully protect you against HPV (which we all on the board have had and/or cleared, probably) but they're good for everything else.
This message brought to you by the 90s and someone who saw their bff's dad die of AIDS before she ever had sex.
But yeah, IUD! I think I always forget to bring it up because I'm not a candidate for it, because of my wretchedly heavy/crampy periods. If you have bad periods you can dislodge it, plus it makes your periods a bit worse.
But if you have a mellow-ish period vibe the IUD is killer. I know people who've had them for years. No hormones! No insertion! No worrying about taking pills or spooging a bunch of sick spermicide on a gigantic floppy disc and jamming it up inside of you if you think you might do it to a boy later! No gross jimmy caps, which, lets be honest people. They are not exactly a dream date.
You can get one and keep it 10 years! It pays for itself in like 3 months, it's awesome.
GO FOR THAT ONE if you are rawdogging (not randos though)
It swear by it. It changed my life forever.
I am a new human.
I don't barf everywhere because of pain anymore.
I can look like I am not even having a period while having my heaviest days.
The concept of WITHDRAWAL freaks me out. I am all for it if you are super in love and committed. Also if you and your person are cool with the possibility of an accidental pregnancy, like not fully trying to conceive, but also ready to be parents if it happened to you. But if you don't want kids, don't make them.
THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT can make a lot of people less responsible about sex. I don't believe withdrawal can be practiced correctly by many of us. As a much younger woman I remember fooling around with a couple dudes whom I quickly realized had been partners with a lot of other people I knew. You hear rumors or your friends share that their roommate or friend slept with a certain person and had to go get Plan B the next day. It's a very small world. If someone is willing to have unprotected sex with you the odds are they have done the same with someone else. It's sort of disheartening.
buy "boric acid" in a big jar. It's not expensive. It should be in powder form.
buy vegetarian gel caps--empty ones you can fill yourself. Should be in the same section of the store
fill a gel cap with boric acid
(don't eat the boric acid; don't get it in your eye)
then stick the gel cap where the sun don't shine! (not the butt--the other place). Stick it as far up as you can go.
do this at night before bed because things can get messy as the gel cap melts
do it again the next day if your Y.I. is particularly gnarly
then wait like 3 days
if you're not cured I shall eat my hat
This is how I have treated mine for over 10 years. I still have the same jar of boric acid! It lasts forever
can also be used to kill ants
Also just generally as preventative measures try cutting down on sugar in your life, and eating lots of yogurt and kombucha.
so cheap, so much better for your body (than, like, vagisil or whatever)
I have been known to have really relentless Y.I.'s, and sometimes I will just call my doctor and have her prescribe me this big horse pill that I take orally. I'm sure it's not awesome for my body, but it does the trick!
I took one of those big pills a few weeks ago or what I thought was a Y.I. but it turned out I had Strep B (!?) a non-contagious bacterial infection so they made me take antibiotics and then I got a Y. I. for real. Bummer cycle.
A trusted source suggested using yogurt topically which was soothing but did not cure. I don't think I used enough though.
Also to my knowledge the boric acid is superior to the actual supermarket Y.I. drugs because it targets specifically the bad guys and not the good guys?? I think the drugs actually just wipe out everything in your system, which is bad.
I'm actually not clear on the science of it, but hippies always say to do the boric acid so that's what I do. I totally vouch for it, it works literally every time, and is cheap and cool.
I got my hormone-less IUD almost 1 year ago. I've had miserable cramps lasting upwards of about two weeks each time of the month. However, within the past two months I have stopped eating meat and taking over the counter medications and my cramps have disappeared. Also, my period seems normal and pain-free/PMS free for the first time in my life. Did my diet affect my cycle THAT much?
Also, not to press the bummer button, but your pain free periods could be a fluke. Every once in awhile I'll have a rad pain-free period and I think "I'm finally growing up!" but then the next period will be awful as usual. Hopefully this is not the case for you!
Any other changes you can think of? Have you been:
- doing more yoga?
- drinking more water?
- taking flaxseed oil or other weird herbs?
- drinking relaxing teas before bed, when you never used to before?
- less stressed out these days for some reason?
- did you recently move? Maybe there was poison in your last house (joking! God)
I'm right now struggling with weird 2-week PMS each month, which I've never had before. Mine manifests primarily as horrendous, drenching night sweats that are ruining my mattress. I had to take away the down comforter because I don't want to ruin it too. For 2 months I've been on a rigorous lady herbal regiment and so far it is not helping but they say to give it a few months.
I'm only 23, so I could just be growing out of the inconsistencies, but this change has been pretty drastic.
YT-tell me about your herbal regiment. How many more months will you have to wait?
I also don't know how long I have to wait before the herbs kick in. Or maybe the herbs just don't work for me? Who freaking knows. I am getting pretty frustrated. In September I will see a doctor (don't have health insurance now, but will then). For now, and after copious research, I am taking daily:
- 2 evening primrose supplements
- 2-4 flaxseed oil supplements
- multi vitamin
- 2-4 capsules of black cohosh, actually recently I switched from a pretty heavy dose of pure black cohosh to this crazy lady-blend I found at the co-op that is black cohosh, vervain, and wild yam. I like this because yam is what hippies take for menopause instead of hormone replacement therapy so I figure it must be more potent / a real thing
- extra vitamin C which actually I haven't been taking. I get tired of swallowing all these huge pills
Also trying to drink more water, relax before getting into bed, wear all-cotton jammies for breathability, stretch more, drink less coffee, drink less alcohol before the PMS starts.
It's so emo. I feel like a couple of days of PMS (in terms of horrific boob-pain and night sweats and ghost-cramps) seems fair but two full weeks, every month???? Literally spending half my life dealing with my menstrual cycle. ARRRGH
any other ideas are welcome! I really do think it is a crazy out-of-whack hormone situation, so I'm trying to do things that are good for hormone-balancing. Last night I had a really long vivid dream in which I was just growing raspberry bushes, harvesting the leaves, drying them, and then making tea out of them. Even my subconscious is obsessed with my hormones!
I got over my concerns about post vasectomy pain syndrome by reading that vasectomy reversal cures most pain if it occurs.
PMS: A friend I've known for six years who has always complained mightily about her PMS recently saw improvements with the "paleo diet" and "Easy Now" herbal tea.