So fun to be in the airport thread! I so rarely have my computer with me.
PDX -> SLC -> Logan
4:48 a.m., just hit that Coffee People and got a soy cappuccino and wait'll ya see what it COSTS!
Question: Is the weird full-body scanner thing they make you go through at pdx DIFFERENT than the controversial x-ray full body nudie scanners?? If not then they tricked me.
"Your cell phone gives you more radiation than this machine" "Oh really doctor? Where did you get your nuclear physics degree"
I was just in the bathroom for so long (internal problems). A lady came in and started cleaning the bathroom. when I came out the whole time I was washing my hands she relentlessly made jokes about how long I'd been in there.
"I thought you'd fallen in!" "Yeah well..." "Or had a diabetic coma!" "Yeah" "I was like 'please don't make me report a corpse in my bathroom!'" "Wow, totally"
Accept your destiny, Earthling Scum. In no time flat you will be scanned 4 times daily on the House and Host Validation by New American Population Force.
Catching up on airport reports: SRQ -> MSP -> PDX on Christmas Day. Parade of killer airports. Free wifi in Sarasota and PDX, maybe MSP too I didn't have time to check. (Even 30 mins of e-bay sponsored free wi-fi on one of the flights!) Everyone was nice, security lines were short and I was wearing slip off shoes. Gleaming surfaces, modern architecture, local kitchy artwork, and trams and moving walkways to whisk you along in Asimovian style.
Felt like I was walking through some awesome version of a post-apocalyptic future where we all live indoors but have made the best out of it.
I had a great opting-out experience at pdx. The lady who did my groping could honestly not have been nicer. It was very neighborly and chatty, and then the guy groping my husband got started talking to us about x-rays and we learned a lot. It turns out these bullshit machines come in two varieties--one uses radio waves, like a cell phone, and one uses x-rays (the dreaded "backscatter" technology). One is thus probably way more dangerous than the other, although of course the jury is still somewhat out on cell phone waves or whatever.
Anyway it was a really great interaction that solidified to me the superiority of the pdx airport. Opting out on the way home, in Phoenix Sky Harbor, was a much ruder affair with a lot of eye-rolling.
I had very pleasant pat downs at PDX and in Manchester, NH! Very friendly ladies moving the backs of their hands over my junk. Somehow I avoided the scan and the pat down in Denver and Philly (where I spent an unexpected night after missing a connection mid-trip.)
But also, as previously mentioned, FUCK DIA! I flew from there yesterday and arrived 75 minutes before my flight, waited in line to check my bags for 45 minutes, took me 20 to get to my gate way over on concourse C, and was the last person to board my flight with like, 2 minutes to spare. We literally ran to the gate and were the last ones on the plane. Next time I will get to that airport at least 100 minutes early. Bleh.
I was all geared up to opt out of the screening machine at PDX this morning but luckily they waved me through the metal detector. Seriously, though, I find the opting out thing so stressful, because I naturally just want to be a good little traveler and not cause problems. Soon they will develop biometric profiling, and then I'll be totally effed, because I'll be exhibiting all the signs of stress, which clearly indicates that I am a terrorista. Ugh.
In other news, the guy in front of me at Coffee People ordered a "quad espresso," then when the girl asked him if he wanted a muffin, made a big deal about how he "couldn't remember the last time he ate bread." What is wrong with you, USA?!
Freddy I totally agree about opting out. I get stressed about it days before my flight! I'm afraid they'll be mean or embarrass me; I'm afraid it will take forever and I'll miss my flight; etc. etc. I guess we just have to keep doing it and it will become normal (until they make the x-ray machines mandatory--the only point of having them at all is to please the corporations that make the machines. They're only in airports due to massive corporate lobbying. So if enough people opt out that it becomes a nuisance I assume they'll just make it mandatory, rather than just getting rid of the machines)
Comments
PDX -> SLC -> Logan
4:48 a.m., just hit that Coffee People and got a soy cappuccino and wait'll ya see what it COSTS!
Question: Is the weird full-body scanner thing they make you go through at pdx DIFFERENT than the controversial x-ray full body nudie scanners?? If not then they tricked me.
"Your cell phone gives you more radiation than this machine"
"Oh really doctor? Where did you get your nuclear physics degree"
"I thought you'd fallen in!"
"Yeah well..."
"Or had a diabetic coma!"
"Yeah"
"I was like 'please don't make me report a corpse in my bathroom!'"
"Wow, totally"
In no time flat you will be scanned 4 times daily on the House and Host Validation by New American Population Force.
I loathe when I accidentally reveal my true identity.
:(
(on my planet typing and thinking are basically the same thing so on Earth sometimes my fingers just start going)
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Landed in New Hampshire-It'll get real rural here in a minute... !!! ...
Thing I love to do: get breakfast at the airport.
(Bound for ATL.)
Free WiFi!
Felt like I was walking through some awesome version of a post-apocalyptic future where we all live indoors but have made the best out of it.
Anyway it was a really great interaction that solidified to me the superiority of the pdx airport. Opting out on the way home, in Phoenix Sky Harbor, was a much ruder affair with a lot of eye-rolling.
But also, as previously mentioned, FUCK DIA! I flew from there yesterday and arrived 75 minutes before my flight, waited in line to check my bags for 45 minutes, took me 20 to get to my gate way over on concourse C, and was the last person to board my flight with like, 2 minutes to spare. We literally ran to the gate and were the last ones on the plane. Next time I will get to that airport at least 100 minutes early. Bleh.
In other news, the guy in front of me at Coffee People ordered a "quad espresso," then when the girl asked him if he wanted a muffin, made a big deal about how he "couldn't remember the last time he ate bread." What is wrong with you, USA?!
Freddy I totally agree about opting out. I get stressed about it days before my flight! I'm afraid they'll be mean or embarrass me; I'm afraid it will take forever and I'll miss my flight; etc. etc. I guess we just have to keep doing it and it will become normal (until they make the x-ray machines mandatory--the only point of having them at all is to please the corporations that make the machines. They're only in airports due to massive corporate lobbying. So if enough people opt out that it becomes a nuisance I assume they'll just make it mandatory, rather than just getting rid of the machines)