Well, HRS ARK ROYAL and I had our first fight on Saturday night. It’s funny, because Saturday morning we idly wondered what our first fight would be about, and then THAT VERY EVENING we found out. Spooky, right? It turns out that when HRS ARK ROYAL is 2 hours late picking me up without checking in, we have a fight. Huh. The awkward part is that when he finally did collect me (in all of my justified haughtiness), our friends Freddy and Josh were in the car also, which meant that they then witnessed our fight. Yikes! Luckily HRS ARK ROYAL charmed me out of my fury relatively quickly, and a festive atmosphere returned. (Lots of whispered “I’m sorry’s” and little kisses helped a lot.)
But then, the very next night, we had ANOTHER fight!! And it was AGAIN witnessed by Freddy and Josh! This time I was in the dog house, and HRS ARK ROYAL wasn’t as much mad as disgusted. See, it came out that when living in New York, I would (very very) occasionally, uh, pee on the street. Like after a party and a long subway ride! Very justifiable, I think. Very gross, according to the SEA PRINCE, even though he admitted to peeing on the side of the road in Alaska. Apparently there is a difference between publicly urinating in New York City and po-dunk Alaska. Whatever. He asked me if I didn’t think it was gross to see a dude peeing downtown late at night. And while I agree that it is gross to see a DUDE peeing, it’s FUNNY to see a LADY peeing!
I think we had to call that second fight a draw. But I’d love some input here. Late-night public peeing when you are far from your apartment and there is no bathroom in sight- gross or justified? Come on. I know you’ve done it too.
Urban Honking
is a community of writers, visual artists, musicians, filmmakers, and other great humans.
Archives
- March 2012
- January 2012
- October 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- March 2010
- December 2008
- November 2008
- March 2008
- January 2008
- November 2007
- August 2007
- June 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
Categories
I peed at an El stop once in Chicago because I was dying. Anyone would pee outside if they HAD to.
I have peed in alleys and little nooks behind and beside buildings, but not in the street and not in the sidewalk. I have also peed in city parks, which I think is far more disgusting than any asphalt.
And I am ALLLL LADY.
i once dated a girl BECAUSE she had peed off the platform on an EL stop in Chicago… it was impressive. my dad taught me a little trick i use often, where i pretend to be fixing my tire, knell on one leg, and pee into the gutter.
I’ve never been physically able to do it, my bladder clenches up like baby fist around a lock of hair. I don’t like the idea of people stepping in my pee, or vice versa. It’s all wrong.
Peeing in the gutter is totally okay. Especially in NYC where public bathrooms are so few and far between. I am witness to this fact of life in NYC and it is the only reason I have ever been grateful to Starbucks in my life. Free bathrooms.
Also, I find it very easy to go down a sidestreet and sit on the curb and pee, just like I’m sitting on a toilet, except, you know, it’s the curb. That’s a handy tip for the ladies, and I promise that I am a lady. There’s pictures on my blog of me.
The HMS ARK ROYAL would like to state that while we find the find the act of public urination foul, ill-mannered, and plain rude, we also understand that there are times and circumstances in which one must empty one’s bladder at an inopportune time. However, this understanding in no way excuses the behavior, and based on Ms. McCormick’s vague mentions of public urination “six to twelve” times, it is very difficult to determine how often this was really a “bathroom emergency” or if this was some dirty street habit.
The HMS ARK ROYAL believes that a little planning can go a long way in avoiding these “bathroom emergencies”, and would encourage you to heed the advice of your parents before a long car trip and go to the bathroom if you need to or not.
Walking recently in downtown San Francisco is was mildly uncomfortable the number of times the HRS ARK ROYAL had to step over a puddle of mysterious fluid running from some slightly dark corner across the sidewalk and into the street.
By removing the celebratory sense of pride that Ms. McCormick has for public urination, we think we can all make our cities a cleaner and more comfortable place to live.
Celebratory sense of pride, huh? Ugh. What a priss.
oh, totally done it.
i use to always walk myself home drunk, sometimes one or two miles. when you are 45 minutes from home, and there are no public bathrooms, and you have to go NOW, there’s pretty much no other option.
i think it’s polite to find a bush or something though. nobody wants to step in that.
Totally justifiable!
Especially if it involves large (or even not quite so large) quantities of beer. And, might I add, even if you went right before you left.
what is this just a relationship blog now???????
i’m down for public urine. urine ain’t no big thing.
It is also a resolution blog, Steve!!
Okay, okay. I know perf hart has been a little BF-heavy as of late, but that’s just because it’s my latest thing. I’ll be back to normal soon- promise. :)
hi willow- longtime reader, first time commenter; love your blog.
Dude, Whatever. If you don’t want to be DAWN TREADING over “mysterious puddles of dark fluid,” you should like frequent a different part of the city, or look up at the big air-conditioner over that spot (thus removing the mystery rather than the walking, if you follow), or something. I don’t want to be too harsh, since I trust willow’s taste in dudes so you must be pretty damn alright, but c’mon: it’s pee. it’s the ground. Isn’t that basically why people in civilized countries take their shoes off when they enter their home? ISN’T IT?
And, this whole “go before you leave, even if you don’t have to” malarky strikes me as the words of someone who doesn’t suffer from ‘bashful bladder.’ Pretty sure its not just me who can’t really go if I don’t have to go. Well, at least a tiny bit sure, now that I think about it.
When I lived in an awesome, cheap huge loft in a not awesome neighborhood of jersey city, I was out late-ish at night ACTUALLY changing my tire or some equally tedious car-related thing, and a prostitute walking by stopped& asked if she could pee by the side of my truck while I stood right there, because she was afraid the pack of marauding dogs that randomly sometimes wandered around at night might set upon her if she squatted in a solitary spot; and I think she was mostly not being neurotic about it either, they might well have. (it makes sense; street walking is one thing -admittedly hard to wrap my mind around- but I certainly understand feeling more vulnerable at that particular second.) it was very weird!!! she peed about 3 feet away from me, while I faced the other direction; I was thinking “if I were a different person this would probably be very exciting, I’m glad I’m not that person” but I’ve pretty much chosen to believe that she was mostly not very weirdly trying to $hop me up, but rather just really had to pee, and had seen me around the neighborhood (such as it was) long enough and in the right contexts to figure I was some peculiar kind of trustworthy or at least harmless. I guess that’s maybe slightly naive but whatever; you weren’t there.
I did it a few times in college and maybe in NY, but –sorry, Willow–I think I grew out of it. Planning does go a long way. Although I will always allow for emergency pees and agree with man/gross woman/funny argument.
That was a fight? Really?
Ok, so I down the middle on this one. Go when ya gotta go I’d say. Being from Alaska I’ve peed on the side of the road a million time or jumped behind a snow berm (burm?) unless the snow was waist high, which is just cold on a girl (really cold). So peeing outside is fine, in the city it’s different, but still outside and still the rain’ll wash it away and I don’t think you can argue that it’s much different than a dogs pee every which way. Finding the best place to do it is key though and it is definately more rare nowadays…probably because I don’t drink as much. There’s a definate corrolation between public urination and alcohol consumption…a.k.a.: drank everyday in Australia = peed outside a LOT. Drink a lot less in NYC = finding a starbucks. Drink a lot in Bermuda = Penny taking a picture of me behind the bush with my skirt in a compromising position.
I have to say that I agree the PEQUOD on this one. Barring actual bladder busting emergencies, public urination is just foul and can be very easily avoided by taking the time to pee before you leave the bar. I can get behind a lifetime history of twice or thrice peeing on a city sidewalk (I myself have never done so), but 6 – 12 times in a relatively short period of time? Gross, dude.
Finding the perfect urban pee-spot makes me feel more connected to my animal past and my rock n roll future.I don’t think I could take anyone seriously who coulnd’t momentarily break our modern laws of propriety for their own health and well being.Besides,urine is sterile.
BTW-I am going to tell the ladies what you were actually doing Saturday night
Back when I lived in NYC, I urinated publically from time to time. It was a common thing! Once time I peed in an alley on a first date.
well, u know, i have been known to drop my pants for the call of nature. admittedly its far from ladylike. Once when i was a 20 yr old drunken student in Oxford, walking back from a night of beers, i clambered into someone’s little cottage garden for a slash (english speak for pee). unfortunately someone looked out the window and i panicked mid pee and managed to piss all over my jeans. being drunk n all, and with my new-ish boyfriend who was a little lunatic, i thought it was hilarious and ran off home laughing hysterically, until the next morning when boyfriend grabbed my pants to wear to go to the toilet, and only then realised they were wet….
I’m so impressed by all of these public-peeing confessions!! Thank you all for sharing them!! Your stories make me like you even more!
http://www.popgadget.net/2006/01/feminal_the_por.php
First of all, as far as I’m concerned, ladies simply absorb all their waste products back into their bodies, because they sure as hell don’t drop them off in some back alley.
As for public urination in general, I think the question to ask yourself is “Can anyone hear me?” If some innocent passerby could hear you “doing your business”, you haven’t removed yourself far enough from society. I think that rule basically covers it.
Unless, of course, the urination/defacation is done for political purposes, in which case anything goes.
i have
in an ally and was caught and ticketed
still do it occasionaly