I GOT A LITTLE CASE OF THE BEYONCES.

Beyonceitis. Has it affected you? A little heavy handed on the tone, a little enamored with the quasi-cleverness of the term Beyonceitis but it’s got some truly hilarious moments, this. To wit:
“Before Beyonceitis crippled her, Ashanti enjoyed a brief period as “The Princess of Hip-Hop Soul”, which was an easy title to achieve mainly because 1. There was no other artists to dispute her at the time. 2. Her record label gave her the title.”
AND
“In the diagram above you can see how Beyonce’s brain is different from ours. A normal person is born with a part of the brain which tells their body to sit down. When someone says “sit down” it sends a signal to the brain which sends a signal to your legs and then you walk to a chair, then it sends signal to your ass and then you sit down.
Beyonce was born without a “Sit Down” part to her brain. Whenever someone tells Beyonce to sit down it sends a signal to her legs and tells them to walk to a studio to record an album, then it sends another signal which tells the legs to walk to another studio and shoot videos for every song on that album, then it sends another signal telling the legs to walk to another studio and shoot a movie, then it sends another signal and tells the legs to re-record the album in Spanish, Japanese, and German.”