feeling the festival

so perhaps because i happened to begin this year’s TBA experience as a member of the receiving line of a happening that poses a question with no answer, i’ve been able to finally let myself be open-minded enough to truly be receptive to the festival itself as a feeling and experience. i’ve often thought over the years how TBA is kind of a cross between a political convention and summer camp, you either drink the kool-aid and have the time of your life, or you sit on the sidelines just feeling like you’re missing something and homesick for your normal routine. plus, you always wind up seeing the same few people over and over again.
last night during a post-show conversation at the works, i was still high on the fumes of being an urban utopia planner, thinking critically about what one day may be called ‘post-web 2.0’ art, and getting art-rocked out by the works, and then my bubble burst a little when the person i was conversing with obviously was not having her expectations met by the individual acts – she and seemingly a bunch of others were just not feeling the vibe this year. and the fact that they aren’t and i am, and the fact that when i actually think about the individual acts, i realize my expectations for each of them were a little too high, and the fact that the last couple weeks of the presidential campaign have been dashing what had naively become my high hopes, left me wondering if i’m almost desperate to get what i need out of this festival because i know how devastated i’ll be if we lose. and the last time i felt this caught up in the feel of it all was my first year, of course, and that was 2 months before what i hope will be the most crushing defeat of our adult lives. maybe i’m trying to take it while i can…or maybe that context is just letting me gleam a little more inspiration while i have the chance.
maybe it’s helped me see how attune artists are too the present and imminent problems in our society, because their pieces don’t just reflect a mood, they reflect actual political and cultural realities. so far this year’s artists have asked me to see firsthand how little a priority low-income citizens are to city planning (sojourn); how the african-american experience relates to health and healthcare (daniel beaty); how the digitization and disposability of culture has become so ingrained to our society and, that in such a quickly changing time technologically, nostalgia is the new déjà vu from a minute ago, (hot mess chat), how we’re losing our ability to touch and feel our community because of the invasive personality of our online selves (hot mess chat, reggie watts) and how timeless the struggle is to be inspired as an artist and survive in the market-based art world (anna halprin films).
i guess what i’m saying is, that even if i am just drinking the kool-aid, i’ll take it while we’re still free enough that i can get it.
posted by laura becker