Blindsided

I lost my job this week.
Despite the fact that the school where I work(ed), and the parents of my student all wanted me to stay, a lawyer for the district decided to act against the best interest of all of us by inserting a stooge in my position on one day’s notice. It’s a long story. I’m going to continue working with the school and the family, but in a more general way. And I start grad school in June, so at least there’s that.
It feels so weird. I have been Jordan’s aid since the third week of school. His parents hired me because (at the time) he was ineligible for special ed services, but he had a “running away outside” problem and needes someone nearby to chase after him. It wasn’t just running though he also had problems with: kicking, biting, reading, eating, shouting, bathrooms, hiding, and hitting. In those early months I had him in full body locks at least a couple of times a week. He was suspended from school twice. He’s in First Grade! I worked with him at home and all day every day at school. I was there through medication changes, behavior plans, eligibility meetings, and many many meltdowns. In the last couple of months he really started to turn around. He started on new meds, and I swear they are miracle pills. His behavior improved along with his appetite and his school work. Every day he did a little bit better, and I was so proud to see it all unfold.
Now suddenly, I’m out. And it feels so unfair. I was there through the toughest times, and now I don’t get to watch him succeed. Everyone’s hands are tied- I just got caught in the middle of this absurdist beaurocracy. But there was no closure. I’d become so attached to his whole class. I had no idea when I said goodbye to them on Tuesday that I wouldn’t be saying hello on Wednesday. The classroom teacher had to think on her feet, so she told them I’d found another job and I had to start right away. It feels so dishonest, but how else do you explain an upheaval like this to 22 7 year olds? I hope they don’t feel betrayed by me. I hope they miss me. Jordan told me they’re all working on an art project for me- goodbye cards or something. This makes me sad.
And Jordan… I don’t even know what to hope for. If the new aid doesn’t work out, then they’ll put me back in for the rest of the year. But I don’t want to hope he fails so that I can have my job back.
Sorry for such a downer of an entry. Hopefully the dust will settle soon and I’ll have better news. Luckily Jordan’s parents and teachers are supportive, and are committed to finding a new place for me. Keep your fingers crossed.