Weekend At Beany’s

The cooling final months of this intense and triumphant 2008 necessitate warm and hearty sustenance. In these tired economic times, one cheap and awesome go-to is always the bean and for us vegetarians the myriad mini legumes that make up the bean family-tree work double time to keep us going. Thing is, cooking dry beans seems to be something that nobody really does. Unfortunately for both the human and the human bean, the time commitment required usually keeps dry beans in the dark, in your cupboard, neglected and forgotten.
This recipe is time consuming but really folks, there are few things more pleasurable than taking a few hours to make a bitchin’ stew. Before your sweet drunken head hits your pillow on Friday, take 15 minutes to soak your beans, and you’ll either have an awesome spread to share with your near and dear on Saturday night, or a bucket of lunch for all of next week.
Day 1:

1/4 cup of six types of beans, we used…
Anasazi
Black Calypso
Jacob’s Cattle
Scarlet Runner
Rice Beans
Tongues of Fire

Day 2:
2 Tbs. XV olive oil
2 large white onions, diced
2 leeks, diced
2 medium sized red potatoes, diced
1 yam, diced
7 cloves of garlic, diced
7 white chilies, diced
1/4 cup cheap sherry
1 Tsp. ground white pepper
1 Tsp. ground black pepper
1 Tsp. ground coriander
1 Tsp. ground cumin
2 Tsp. Porcini powder
2 Tsp. Smoked salt
Additional salt to taste
1/4 large cabbage

1. In a large pot or bowl, combine all the beans and cover with at least twice as much water and let soak overnight. If you use Scarlet Runners or any other larger bean, soak them separately. You’ll want to cook them for an additional 30 minutes before adding the rest of the beans; their size makes them have a longer cooking time.
2. The next day, pick through your beans for any floaters (they may be duds) and small rocks (they can be a bummer). Rinse them of their day-old water and put them in a large pot with, again, at least twice as much water as beans. Salt the water and bring to a boil.
3. Hold the boil for ten minutes, and then reduce to a bubbling simmer. Set a timer for 30 minutes and go drink a beer.
4. Reset the timer for another half hour and give the beans a stiff stir to make sure nobody is sticking to the bottom.
5. After a full hour give one of the biggest beans a try; if they’re still sandy and dry in the center give ’em another 30, if not reduce the heat to low and start the soup base.
6. Heat 1 Tbs. of the oil, and sauté the onions and leeks for about 8 minutes until they start to wilt. Add the yam and potato and the second Tbs. of oil and sauté for another 8 minutes. Add the garlic and chilies and sauté for 5. Then add the sherry and count to ten.
7. After ten, dump all of the beans and as much of the boiling liquid into the pot with the veggies as will fit. The bean juice is where most of the nutrients have gone during the boil, and it will make a hearty and tasty broth.
8. Add your spices, and simmer for another 30 minutes. Taste the broth and adjust with salt as needed, and taste the largest of the beans you are using. If it’s real easy and pleasing to chew, then add your cabbage. Cook until the cabbage is transparent and fragrant.
9. Serve with crusty bread, hearty ale, a swirl of Greek yogurt if you’re not vegan, and love.
Beverage: Guinness Extra Stout (not the crap with the widget)
Soundtrack: Bright Black Morning Light’s “Motion to Rejoin”