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Foot in mouth (I'm getting fired)

flossy_log_ladyflossy_log_lady
edited January 2014
Here's what happened in a team meeting this morning. In front of everyone, after getting visibly frustrated, I asked why we don't have a project manager on this particular study team, implying in no uncertain terms that none of the work PM's usually do is being done on this study.

Lady teammate, who is my superior, has worked here 10-15 years, and who is the only person I work with who has ever complained about me to my boss (to my knowledge), turns to me: "I *am* the PM."

Then there was a long, awkward silence.

This lady is about to complete my "review" for the year.

Basically, I am a brat who can't keep her mouth shut and will probably lose a job over it (if not today, then someday).

Ugh. Large wine?

Comments

  • YoursTrulyYoursTruly
    oh no!!!!!!!!
    Was it ever made clear (before this meeting) that this lady was officially the PM? That seems so weird! Did you say anything after the silence?

    Have you considered some fallout management, like writing her a nice, carefully-worded email apologizing for being so brassy but it's just that you care so much about the project that you let your mouth talk before your brain knew what to say? And that you appreciate her work so much, and are sorry you weren't aware she'd been named PM? Or something?? So hard to write that kind of email without sounding smarmy/desperate but it might be a good idea????

    omg

    keep us posted. When does your review get completed?
  • swamp_knobbler_mahanswamp_knobbler_mahan
    Talk to your actual boss and say that your superior is doing a shitty job as a PM? Go out in a blaze of glory? Don't apologize for doing a better job. The superior that's the shitty PM doesn't actually have firing power over you, does she? Sucky situation either way.
  • flossy_log_ladyflossy_log_lady
    Well, it's just a messy situation because we have a lot of job titles here that overlap with other job titles (lady is a research associate, but apparently is in charge of all PM duties as well). It's just sad because what I really wanted to get across (at least in hindsight) was more of a lighthearted, "Isn't it weird that we don't have a PM on this project and don't you think it would make sense for someone like me to step up to fill that role so we can be more efficient on this team?" but instead it came out like, "Why aren't you doing your job?"

    Which, really, why aren't you doing your job?

    But I work in a weird place and my boss is not someone I can talk to. No, I will not actually get fired for this. Lady does not have firing power over me. At worst, I will get a reprimand for not being "friendly and collaborative."

    I thought about sending an email like that, YT, but ultimately I think it will be better if all is forgotten as quickly as possible. I tried to smooth it over by saying something like, "Oh, wow. That's a big job. So you're the research associate AND you have all the PM duties? Man." I don't think it worked, but whatever.

    Talk about self-indulgent posts! SINK THREAD.



  • LelandLeland
    It's fun to read about jobs!
  • YoursTrulyYoursTruly
    It's so painfully clear how different our respective industries are if you compare Alex's and my responses to this situation. Mine so craven and desperate, Alex's so confident and brash.

    I'm sad

    Good luck Flossy! I bet it will be fine. This kind of shit happens all the time and it will get swept under the rug. Certainly not a firing offense!!!!!
  • swamp_knobbler_mahanswamp_knobbler_mahan
    edited January 2014
    YT, it's so true, sometimes I forget how privileged it is in this weird newish industry where it's pretty easy to just get hired somewhere else if it doesn't work out at your current place.

    Also straight white male privilege, so there's that too. I apologize for my brashness.

    Also speaking of tech/diversity/privilege issues, here's a pretty rad new women-led magazine that addresses a bunch of this stuff:
    http://www.modelviewculture.com

    (The title is a play on "Model View Controller" which is an approach to web software development)
  • YoursTrulyYoursTruly
    Alex don't apologize!!!!!! I admired and was invigorated/inspired by your brashness. You're lucky for sure but you've also worked hard to be where you're at man.

    If I ever get tenure then you will see some shit hit the fan. One of my grad school professors just got tenure and is suddenly just like THE LOUDEST MOST POLITICAL ACTIVIST EVER, raging about adjunctification and over-administration and standing up for grad students etc. It's great. But also sad that you have to wait until tenure to express your beliefs or work for change. Which is obviously why admin and the federal government are working so relentlessly to abolish tenure.

    Fun times

    Sticking up for yourself

    Be Brasher




  • freddyfreddy
    I couldn't sleep last night because I was stressed out about an inappropriate outburst during our staff meeting yesterday. I basically told my boss off for offering a ridiculously low salary for that web dev job (see other thread). I stand by my opinion, but it kind of burst out of me and sounded more critical than was wise.

    I won't get fired. But it does stress me out. My extrovert "talk, then think" gets me into trouble sometimes.
  • LelandLeland
    When to speak, what to say, when and how to show passion.... maybe the most challenging (and significant) skills for maturing humans to master. You are not alone.

    Meanwhile: A boss should appreciate anyone who is actively working to develop and improve upon these talents. A boss who doesn't create space for team members to improve and transform in this area is losing out on huge potential gains for the organization.
  • MirandaJulyMirandaJuly
    edited February 2014
    I'm a real loud mouth in meetings because I can't stand living through repeated mistakes.
  • YoursTrulyYoursTruly
    God you guys you want to talk about consumed with regrets for "talking before thinking"??? Your friend YT is the king of this shit. I am haunted by my performance at a recent intense situation (see other thread also). No matter how sternly I tell myself "remember, think before you talk!" I NEVER DO and then I sound like a crazy spaz.

    Freddy was your boss mad? Did you patch things up?

    regretting an outburst is the worst. I regret every outburst but somehow it never gets easier to not burst out
  • freddyfreddy
    We need some kind of Outbursters Anonymous support group. Ughhhh I hate it every time I do it so much but I never learn....
  • flossy_log_ladyflossy_log_lady
    Wait, YT, what was the recent intense situation (I do not see it in other thread)?

    Everybody bursts out on occasion! It's okay if it doesn't happen habitually (YT, I bet you actually don't have true outbursts in work situations all that often). It makes you human, and I think that's a good thing in the work environment. I agree with DrJ.

  • YoursTrulyYoursTruly
    edited February 2014
    just my interview! I just meant, saying dumb shit out of nervousness and then later being like, why did I say that

    no, I don't have anger outbursts at work (yet) but I have them a lot in my personal life

    I'm still way too terrified and unconfident to have them at work but maybe one day! WE CAN HOPE
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