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look at this weird spam I just got

edited February 2012
Hello,

My name is [ }; I work with the Royal House Incorporation, a consulting Firm in London, UK. We are conducting a standard process investigation involving a client who shares the same name with you and also the circumstances surrounding investments made by this client at HSBC Bank Plc.

The HSBC Private Banking client died intestate and nominated no next of kin to inherit the title over the investments made with HSBC Bank Plc. The essence of this communication with you is to request that you provide us information on three issues:

1-Are you aware of any relative/relation having the same surname, whose last known contact address was Madrid, Spain?

2-Are you aware of any investment of considerable value made by such a person at the HSBC Bank Plc.?

3-Can you establish beyond reasonable doubt your eligibility to assume status of next of kin to the deceased?

It is pertinent that you inform us ASAP whether or not you are familiar with this personality that we may put an end to this communication with you and our inquiries surrounding this personality.

You must appreciate that we are constrained from providing you with more detailed information at this point. PLEASE RESPOND BACK TO MY PRIVATE AND DIRECT EMAIL ADDRESS as soon as possible to afford us the opportunity to close this investigation.
Thank you for accommodating our Inquiry.
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Comments

  • Here's a couple I got a few days ago:

    ---

    Dear Honourable Members,

    113th Club Raising Day being celebrated from 8.30 pm on 04 Feb 12.
    There will be Ghazal performance by Jaidev disciple of Jagjit Singh.
    Come enjoy the evening and celebrate our Club’s Raising Day with good
    food and drinks.

    Regards
    Lt Col Nazeer Kamaal (Retd)
    Secretary

    ---

    Dear Honourable Member,

    On behalf of Chairman and All Management Committee Members, I wish all
    Honourable Members a Very Happy Raising Day,Best Compliments and Good
    wishes are conveyed for Good Health & Prosperity of the Club and
    Members in times to come.

    God Bless All
    Regards
    Secretary
    MBClub

    ---

    This was from info2@mbclublucknow.org. It's a real club, and so is Raising Day! How did I get on this list? They weren't selling anything!
  • these are so good! Raising Day!!!!!

  • UPDATE:

    "Dear Member,

    In view of the election on 19 Feb 2012 at Lucknow, the Club will
    remain closed from morning till 1800 hrs.
    All services will be available thereafter.

    Lt Col (Retd) Nazeer Kamaal
    Secretary"
  • Subject:
    Mental preparation system for sports?

    Body:
    extremely interesting mental toughneess system called 'Winning State': juust Googgle the title
  • I am having a hard time Googgling anything!
  • You think they want me to buy their googgles?
  • Dear Honourable Members,

    Regards On 03 Mar 2012 at 2030 hrs HOLI RANGPASHI will be celebrated
    at Chairman’s Lawn. Dr Archana Bhargava’s troupe, a renowned name of
    Lucknow will be performing on the occasion.

    Come one and all , enjoy the evening with lots of food, snacks and
    drinks and Holi Songs.

    Regards
    Secretary
  • These are now my favorite bi-monthly emails.
  • Who is our chairman again? I got my Holi powder/s set and I'm ready to PARTY! I also like food AND snacks.
  • wow, this one seems to be a step up in evolution:

    sender: spam spam
    subject: Hey bud
    Body:

    I received this unbelievable program that i've been showing some friends

    Im make $7000 /each month by setting up an online program and letting it run automatically also its risk-free receiving the kit which practically costs nothing

    (link)

    The economy is harsh and this is gonna help everything

    your bud
    spam
  • HIS NAME IS SPAM!
    WHAT ARE THE ODDS
  • One childhood comfort food was Spam!

    The classics are the "419 scams" which I and many have encountered. The antidote is the highly amusing: www.thescambaiter.com.
  • I just got an email (yahoo addy) and in my inbox the sender was listed as "Promo Men's Supplement" with the subject "Jay Leno Found Taking Drugs".

    I was extremely excited when I saw it, because I was already thinking about this thread. I clicked to read it, but it took me to a different email in my inbox. Startled, I went back to my inbox and IT WAS GONE!!!!

    Something paranormal seemed to be happening.

    Then I checked my spam folder and it was there.

    Body:

    Discover the Internet's best-kept secret to enrich your life

    http://penisslarged.com/


  • I want my penis to be slarged
  • If I had two I'd slarge them both.
  • I surely would
  • edited March 2012
    Felipe Quetzalcoatl prof.quetzalcoatl@gmail.com

    MCpl,

    I was not able to secure a ride into London.

    I won't be able to make it in to work tonight.

    My apologies,


    Cpl Quintanilla
  • How do *you* spell it?
  • whoa. and honestly, when I see "woah" i think that person is a little dumb.
  • definately wierd.
  • well now you're overexaggerating.
  • edited March 2012
    I think of "woah" as how Keanu Reeves says it.



  • Or Joey from Blossom.
  • oh my god what a total fng babe

    it's not every day that an actor creates such a powerful character as impresses all folk who see it

    "pick up unconscious women"
  • UT OH:

    Honourable Members,

    In view of 31 march financial year closing you are requested to clear
    the club dues.

    Please ignore if paid.

    Regards Secy.
  • I cannot get off of the Little Debbie Snacks e-mail list.
    Part of me is like: why am I on this in the first place?
    Part of me is like: I could eat some Little Debbie Snacks.
  • edited March 2012
    subject line: Fictional salaries start from $ 1200 to $ 3800 a month
  • My name is Ihor Pidruchny, I am founder and CEO at LEZGRO, Ukrainian web-development outsourcing company. I’d like to apply for partnership with you and complete your web development projects and tasks.

    I found over google that Alex Mahan is Web Design Company. I think we can collaborate in web development. We also made a lot of ecommerce projects using magento, opencart and self-made solutions, for shops, private sales clubs and marketplaces.
    We actually can do any type of development on PHP, with extensive usage of different frameworks, databases, caching tools etc., as well as providing SEO, SEM, video creation, 3D graphics services.
    Due to favourable location, we can do work for you at $19/hour.

    We comply high standards of Customer Centered Service embedded in every process in the company, including project management and development, learning and research activities. Be sure you’ll find western-style approach, responsibility and talent at LEZGRO.
  • CIRCULAR



    LATE SHRI B P HALWASIYA MEMORIAL BRIDGE TOURNAMENT 2012



    1. It is to inform you that 9th B P Halwasiya Memorial Bridge Tournament organized by B P Halwasiya Foundation in
    THE M B CLUB LTD on 08th Apr 2012 from 4.00pm to 7.00pm.

    2. Fees for the same is Rs. 50/- for THE M B CLUB Members and Rs. 100/- for others.

    3. Prize details are as follows:-

    (a) First Prize - B P Halwasiya Memorial Bridge Tournament Running Trophy & Cash prize of
    Rs. 3000/-

    (b) Second Prize - Rs. 2500/-

    (c) Third Prize - Rs. 2000/-

    (d) Fourth Prize - Rs.1500/-

    (e) Fifth Prize - Rs. 1000/-

    (f) Best M B Club Pair - Rs. 1000/-

    (g) All Ladies Pair(if any) - Rs. 1000/-

    Prize distribution at 1930hrs on 08 Apr 2012 by Hon’ble Chief of Staff, Headquarter Central Command

    4. Interested members are requested to please forward your names to Mr. Sudhir S Halwasiya, Founder Trustee on Mobile
    No.9415012000/9839075000 and Secretary’s Mobile No. 8953532222.
  • ALEX MAHAN IS WEB DESIGN COMPANY
  • yahoo mail said this attachment was virus free, so I risked downloading it and I'm glad I did:

    image
  • I keep getting late night texts telling me I may have won a WalMart gift card. :(
  • I got this too! Evidently, my friend got email spammed, must have his phone contacts stored somewhere... how freaking embarassing.
  • subject: Shooting plan

    body: Dear general manger:

    Hello!

    I’m come from xi’an China. Accordingto our business devolpment, we need entrust your company shoot a film about your country glory hestory at 21C shooting place on your contry.

    Content: national flag, national song, population, old and new buildings,tourist atrration, the main unversity name at every city, public place of entertainment, superstore,politics&culture, landscape,custom, airport,station,port,tavern,factory, fame people of enterprise,native and special products and so on.

    Please take shooting script edit budget at the shooting plan, director,filmer,assitant,compere,(announcer:order a man and woman) the accomplish of voiceover at dubbing room, use international standard play and play language is english.
    In total 36 episodes, one episode of 20 minutes.
    Measurement 16:9
    Style HD DVD
    Please according to my rough plan to budget all cost for shoot. The starting time of shooting approximately at June 2012, end time about at Mar 2013. The period of post production is five months.please according to all content of I say and the fees plan of all people’s meals, accommodation,vehicle fees,devices etc to plan.

    We sincerely hope to by means of the cooperate of us,we can become good busniess friends contribute to long-term and multiaspect development. We look forward to your quoted price.

    Best wishes !
    --

    Best wishes!
    Mr.Zhaozhengyong
    XIAN TONGOU IMP&EXP TRADING CO.,LTD
  • that list of "content" is amazing. I would watch that movie!!
  • Hi! I discovered your own photo.
    I love you a lot.
    Let us talk!
    I'm a female and just interested in a man
  • YT- I am not sure this is spam or just some very confused Chinese business people.
  • I say, come up with a big number, put a dollar sign in front of it, and email 'em back.
  • I just got an email from a user of the website I used to work for. He was replying to an email I sent him FIVE YEARS AGO. ????
  • Whoa. 2007.

    He's like: lost in time!
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