But!! Have you ever had a slice where the dough wasn't cooked all the way through? Something happens where once it reaches this fucked point, no amount of heat or cooking will make it anything other than gum. Now that might be worse than no pizza.
"Bad pizza is better than bad coffee," TRUE, but one could read this as being the case because GOOD pizza is closer to bad pizza than good coffee is to bad coffee, thus in comparison bad pizza doesn't seem as bad as bad coffee.
i hold that pizza is street food like hotdogs. sure there are some really good hotdogs out there but like WHATEVER its a hotdog. its about enjoying a portable food item made for quick consumption and instant gratification ideally, you walk to the closest one to you and you just grab a slice and it is a part of your daily life, like drinking water and air
i enjoy gourmet pizza like any human would, but when people get uppity about pizza i'm like damn you are hella taking the jazz out of me getting a random slice at a random place and being like "yeah i just ate some pizza" and enjoying that fleeting moment of satiation, grease stained paper plates and shit
then again, fuck a 4 hours old heat lamp cafeteria slice. roadside sparros airport puke fest slice those are some baaad hotdogs, world
but like for real and on a real note, i get a little tired of all the gourmet-ifying of pizza in this town
any real city is just like "yeah we got some good pizza up in this city" and doesn't worry about it as much as poor lil portland with its constant cultural need to prove it is sophisticated except for LA. where the fuck are the pizza slices in that city? oh wait, no one walks in LA hence, no good slices california pizza kitchen??? that place where you take it home in your car and heat it up in your own oven? whats up california your pizza game is fucked
anyway stop trying to sophisticate my street slice!
i would go on further to hold that pizza made with proper attitude and care, even with a nasty ass sysco food truck backing up every week to deliver 100% of the ingredients can make a killer fucking slice of pizza
a pizza wizard is a proletariat wizard. she takes these simple ingredients and makes a pizza pie and then cuts it into 8 big even slices and gives you one for $3 or less and you are happy.
that's how it should fucking be.
it is also amazing how different every pizza shop's pizza is. you get a system, you tweak it to your own ways and it becomes a sight specific thing unto itself each pizza identified by its place in time and space, in relation to all other things and its wizard, a confluence of influence
pizza qua pizza
i dont know what qua means even though my family paid 100,000 for me to go to philosophy school. FUCK fucking heidegger and shit fucking germans, fucking nazi's...nothing ever changes don't worry donny, these men are cowards
pizza tier charts? google docs? no PhDeeez
stumptown certified trained pizza wizards assuring you your slice will be top notch and to high standardized standards
a certification program that is spreading like wildfire throughout the hipper neighborhoods of every city in america, but especially portland and brooklyn
i dont see this happening
btw i went to this pizza place in brooklyn called best slice sorta a hipster sizzle pie style gourmet but for the young and restless set kinda place blasting hiphop from a small boom box so much Biggie dudes in hyphy ass bay area ball caps (sup brooklyn people repping the bay? saw a lot of it...) making a pizza shit was pretty fucking good and the second time i was there they were playing a mixtape made by a funny DJ specifically for the pizza place the mixtape had a lot of DJ talk overs that shouted out the pizza place they had a really good white slice
"i dont know what qua means even though my family paid 100,000 for me to go to philosophy school."
I laughed so hard when I read this. Then realized I also don't know what 'qua' means and not only did my parents pay 100,000 for me to go to school, I was then later PAID 100,000 (indirectly) to go to additional school.
Doesn't it just mean "as"? Like, "Pizza as itself, pizza." I don't know.
Alan also, I am VERY VERY VERY INTO your theory about the development of the Decent Slice Pizza having to do with WALKING. In a place with walking, there is slice pizza, and not in a place with no walking. Case in point: PHOENIX. I have never seen a slice of pizza in Phoenix in my life.
Also Artichoke Pizza in NYC??? Ultimate Walking Slice. That slice is as big as your head, and there are NO SEATS, and they have that crazy one with alfredo sauce!? And you can get a Miller Lite in a huge styrofoam cup
I was in SF for a conference last year and went to this crazy shitty filthy hipster pizza dive to pick up a pizza my friend had ordered over the phone and they acted like I was literally crazy. "Hi, I'm here to pick up a pizza" "WHAT?" "Uh...my friend ordered a pizza over the phone, I'm here to pick it up" "..ha ha ha....WHAT?????" "...is this a pizza place?" "Well yeah but we don't do that" "....you don't make pizzas?" "Not for takeout like that. You just order at the counter." "Well, I don't know what to say. My friend said she called and ordered two pizzas from you like 10 minutes ago." "Yeah, she did, they'll be ready in a minute. Which ones did she order?" "What?" "Which ones did she order" "I have no idea. Does that matter? You said they were being made right now....[blank stare]... [me calling her on phone] She says the #12 and the #22" "WHAT?!??? Ha ha ha ha!!!! [dying laughing with other counter guy]" "I don't understand. Did someone take her order and is now making it, but you are acting like those pizzas don't exist?" "We just don't say the numbers like that." [other counter guy gets out menu] "Oh look, she must have said the numbers NEXT TO the names of the pizzas, that's so funny!" "So, are either of those vegetarian?" "HA HAHA! WHAT?! No!!!!" [other guy]: "Wait, this one is."
Then I waited for 45 minutes and finally they gave me the pizza
I just got back from brunch where I head a breakfast pizza (egg, tomato, potato chunks, sausage and cheese - maybe another ingredient or two, but those were the main ones) and coffee. After we ate, we had mimosas because they couldn't serve alcohol until after 12:30pm.
"La Montanara by Forcella is a fried pizza (only) restaurant that recently opened in New York City. Chef Giulio Adriani flash fries the pizza pies in sunflower oil and then bakes them in a brick oven. "
I read that! I'm totally going to go get a slice at each. Also I would rather round up on prices so I don't have to worry about change. $1.08? I would rather it just be $2.00. $.79? $1.00!
Comments
But Adam,
what about.....pizza vs. CIGARETTES
Now maybe you know what we coffees feel like
Now maybe you know what it sounds like when doves cry
apizza scholls still gets my vote for best marg! that 50 / 50 is good too.
maybe the best marg??? it's so good!
Lovely's marg with escarole salad and creamy garlic dressing? Seriously, get out of here
; - )
WHERE DOES THIS HAPPEN
Point: Pizza.
Bad pizza is better than bad coffee.
Point: Pizza.
Have you ever had a slice where the dough wasn't cooked all the way through?
Something happens where once it reaches this fucked point, no amount of heat or cooking will make it anything other than gum.
Now that might be worse than no pizza.
damn that's some analytical philosophy there
sure there are some really good hotdogs out there but like WHATEVER its a hotdog.
its about enjoying a portable food item made for quick consumption and instant gratification
ideally, you walk to the closest one to you and you just grab a slice and it is a part of your daily life, like drinking water
and air
i enjoy gourmet pizza like any human would, but when people get uppity about pizza i'm like damn you are hella taking the jazz out of me getting a random slice at a random place and being like "yeah i just ate some pizza" and enjoying that fleeting moment of satiation, grease stained paper plates and shit
then again, fuck a 4 hours old heat lamp cafeteria slice. roadside sparros airport puke fest slice
those are some baaad hotdogs, world
but like for real and on a real note, i get a little tired of all the gourmet-ifying of pizza in this town
any real city is just like "yeah we got some good pizza up in this city" and doesn't worry about it as much as poor lil portland with its constant cultural need to prove it is sophisticated
except for LA. where the fuck are the pizza slices in that city?
oh wait, no one walks in LA
hence, no good slices
california pizza kitchen???
that place where you take it home in your car and heat it up in your own oven?
whats up california your pizza game is fucked
anyway
stop trying to sophisticate my street slice!
i would go on further to hold that pizza made with proper attitude and care, even with a nasty ass sysco food truck backing up every week to deliver 100% of the ingredients can make a killer fucking slice of pizza
a pizza wizard is a proletariat wizard. she takes these simple ingredients and makes a pizza pie and then cuts it into 8 big even slices and gives you one for $3 or less and you are happy.
that's how it should fucking be.
it is also amazing how different every pizza shop's pizza is. you get a system, you tweak it to your own ways and it becomes a sight specific thing unto itself
each pizza identified by its place in time and space, in relation to all other things and its wizard, a confluence of influence
pizza qua pizza
i dont know what qua means even though my family paid 100,000 for me to go to philosophy school.
FUCK
fucking heidegger and shit
fucking germans, fucking nazi's...nothing ever changes
don't worry donny, these men are cowards
pizza tier charts? google docs?
no PhDeeez
stumptown certified trained pizza wizards assuring you your slice will be top notch and to high standardized standards
a certification program that is spreading like wildfire throughout the hipper neighborhoods of every city in america, but especially portland and brooklyn
i dont see this happening
btw i went to this pizza place in brooklyn called best slice
sorta a hipster sizzle pie style gourmet but for the young and restless set kinda place
blasting hiphop from a small boom box
so much Biggie
dudes in hyphy ass bay area ball caps (sup brooklyn people repping the bay? saw a lot of it...) making a pizza
shit was pretty fucking good
and the second time i was there they were playing a mixtape made by a funny DJ specifically for the pizza place
the mixtape had a lot of DJ talk overs that shouted out the pizza place
they had a really good white slice
oh i could talk about pizza all night
I laughed so hard when I read this. Then realized I also don't know what 'qua' means and not only did my parents pay 100,000 for me to go to school, I was then later PAID 100,000 (indirectly) to go to additional school.
Doesn't it just mean "as"? Like, "Pizza as itself, pizza." I don't know.
Alan also, I am VERY VERY VERY INTO your theory about the development of the Decent Slice Pizza having to do with WALKING. In a place with walking, there is slice pizza, and not in a place with no walking. Case in point: PHOENIX. I have never seen a slice of pizza in Phoenix in my life.
This is a brilliant call
I was in SF for a conference last year and went to this crazy shitty filthy hipster pizza dive to pick up a pizza my friend had ordered over the phone and they acted like I was literally crazy.
"Hi, I'm here to pick up a pizza"
"WHAT?"
"Uh...my friend ordered a pizza over the phone, I'm here to pick it up"
"..ha ha ha....WHAT?????"
"...is this a pizza place?"
"Well yeah but we don't do that"
"....you don't make pizzas?"
"Not for takeout like that. You just order at the counter."
"Well, I don't know what to say. My friend said she called and ordered two pizzas from you like 10 minutes ago."
"Yeah, she did, they'll be ready in a minute. Which ones did she order?"
"What?"
"Which ones did she order"
"I have no idea. Does that matter? You said they were being made right now....[blank stare]... [me calling her on phone] She says the #12 and the #22"
"WHAT?!??? Ha ha ha ha!!!! [dying laughing with other counter guy]"
"I don't understand. Did someone take her order and is now making it, but you are acting like those pizzas don't exist?"
"We just don't say the numbers like that."
[other counter guy gets out menu] "Oh look, she must have said the numbers NEXT TO the names of the pizzas, that's so funny!"
"So, are either of those vegetarian?"
"HA HAHA! WHAT?! No!!!!"
[other guy]: "Wait, this one is."
Then I waited for 45 minutes and finally they gave me the pizza
It was so weird
FANCY TOWN
(Though I would probably give up pizza before coffee, if forced to make that choice).
puffy - floppy - crispy
Wait.... I forgot what we were doing...
“We may go to 50 cents,” Mr. Kumar said. Of his next-door rival, he said: “I want to hit him. I want to beat him.”