FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTZ: HILLSBORO HIGH V. LINCOLN HIGH

RyRy

http://highschoolsports.oregonlive.com/game/score/1140292/

Ok Babes, I'm going to this game all by myself if I have to, with my hip flask full of Maker's and my innately lecherous fixation on high-school field-based romance turned up to FULL VOLUME. This is supposed to be a "good" game! We can eat a Costco pretzel from the snack bar, watch the cheerleaders dance to a probably amazing remix of something involving The Cataracs - - at halftime, throw popcorn and pour coke under the bleachers on the girls and boys who are making out; OMG. And we'll watch Friday Night Football. Meet at my place, The Oak Street Building, 6:30pm, then go over. They don't f*** around with the kickoff time, and I am not missing one cheer. Wear warm things like gloves and beanies and bring your own flask or put mini bottles in your underwear if you're Alex Mahan.

Love,

Ryann

swamp_knobbler_mahan

Oh shit, do you have any acid?

RyRy

"we can put it on our pretzies"

swamp_knobbler_mahan

I would probably use a Klean Kanteen filled with Makers rather than a hip flask. Any of those suburban parents spot you with a flask, they'll totally narc you out.

lml__0_0__lml

suburban

RyRy

Def thought of that: I'm gonna roll hard with an orange "gatorade" just like back in the day Redding-CA-1997. If anybody asks what I'm doing there I'm the Assistant Cheerleading Coach from Notre Dame U, scouting for the 2012 season. I'm already sweating in anticipation.

swamp_knobbler_mahan

My last high school football experience was being on acid at a Sunset High School football game on a Friday night in 1996, just so terrified in every way and pretty much unable to understand language. And these girls somehow found out I was born in England and started yelling at me to speak in an English accent. Oh god. We took off pretty fast and went and hung out at this secret waterfall instead. At least, I *think* it was a secret waterfall.

RyRy

Someone luring you to a waterfall by telling you it was Secret! I love this strategy. My most memorable HS FB experience was when I was put on cheerleader probation for leading a touchdown cheer without the squad captain Becky because she was behind the snack bar having a "smoke break" with her 26 y.o. boyfriend from Anderson, Mike Grimes. I waited until they told me I had finished serving my probation time 2 weeks later before I quit ceremoniously by lighting my pompoms on fire in the parking lot after that night's game at the Chico State campus field and telling Becky to "eff off!", someone was blasting 311 out of the back of their parent's Toyota Forerunner. Then I got in my Mom's car and we went to Taco Bell before driving home to Redding, she said Good Job but don't use that kind of language in public you're grounded from the Homecoming Dance Ryann Nichole. Whatever, worth it.

MirandaJuly

Nice.

Loose_Thread

FUCK YOU BECKY!!!!!!!

the_owls

Worth it!
What a badass.

the_owls

BUT, I can't get excited about this because I WENT TO LINCOLN so it's just really weird and not-fun.
:(

Loose_Thread

Yea she lived it

lived to tell the tale

So tell it, Owls! Tell the tale of the friday night lights!!!

RyRy

I can't believe how drawn I still am to my high school. All those dopey boys in hoodies and basketball jerseys and the hallways smell like hormones and P.E. sweat. When I drive thru Red Bluff I'll pull over and double park in the faculty parking zone, skip into my old English teacher's class and she's like RYANN WHAT ARE YOU DOING THESE DAYS ARE YOU A STOCKBROKER YET and I say GUESS WHAT I'M A HAIRDRESSER and everybody in the class is like whoa that's dumb, so much for college prep, fuck this AP Lit Class let's go get high in the Taco Bell parking lot, who is this old babe and why is she visiting her old high school. It's maybe my favorite place on earth, there is still a "Ryann B + Nate M" graffiti under the manual pencil sharpener by the door THANK GOD. Nate Moffett 4 Lyfe.

RyRy

I'm pretty glad Nate's not on UHX I would still totally throw up if he read that. INTERNET YOU STILL HAVE CORNERS TO HIDE IN!

Loose_Thread

here here

MirandaJuly

Respek to Nate Moffett. I am considering this football game.

lml__0_0__lml

babe

RyRy

Oh Babe, everyone's a Babe in my book. Babe means Dude means Person, 2 me!

lml__0_0__lml

whatever

the_owls

Oh man, I didn't do any of that fun high school stuff, I mostly practiced truancy and the art of reading Beat Poetry in the corner!

I got no nostalgia for those halls.

MirandaJuly

I played one round of Academic Bowl.

Leland

Thread of the week.

MirandaJuly

Who won?

lml__0_0__lml

Humanity

RyRy

Me. I basked in the glow of teen angst and dreamscapes for 2 hours and my nose almost froze off BUT: 3 girls sat with me (UNSOLICITED) and told me they were kicked off the cheer squad for getting high before a game, THEY SAT WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME. And eyed my gatorade, but I didn't share because Moms were everywhere. I fell in love, deep and hard. We talked about their Art Class and Girlfriends, I had to remind myself to breath.

Also: Regarding Cheerleaders. I'd like to state for the record that a theme of CHEERLEADER is about to blow up in a mellow way, in our collective vicinity, pretty soon. And that I'm the asshole who lit the fuse. Me. Blame it on me, guys, PLEASE. Just know it. Other dudes have appropriated this concept and are throwing it down first, calendar-wise but I was the jerk with the box of matches, and will be following up. Jesus what a CREEP. Necessary, however.

Devoted.

MirandaJuly

I forgive you.