new ladies who lunch thread

Cherry_Pie

Speaking of lube in that other thread do you guys know how great coconut oil is for sex purposes? It's so great. Feels great, smells great, and is legitimately good for your lady parts.

Tip o' the day!!

YoursTruly

whoa

YoursTruly

what's its compatibility with condoms? Does it fuck them up

Cherry_Pie

Yeah it's oil not water-based so won't get along well with latex. I'm living large in iud city now- so happy to be rid of condoms hopefully forever!

YoursTruly

ugh
i have hormone problems that make all BC options basically untenable

Cherry_Pie

Have you looked into iud? I use the Morena and it does have a super low dose hormone but it's progestrin not estrogen so doesn't give you the headache/mood/weight gain/etc. that regular birth control does. My period and period symptoms are gone and I feel awesome.

MirandaJuly

Talk Gary into getting snipped. In my experience, things were slightly uncomfortable for a month or so and then it's back to normal. Well worth it to leave all that other stuff in the past.

YoursTruly

Gary says he wants to but then doesn't act on it. I feel it should be fully his choice as I can be very pushy and don't want him to feel pushed!

Cherry I've heard bad things about Mirena! How long have you had yours?

i'm also just hoping not to have to go back on hormonal bc because I like ovulating/having a cycle.

:(

new LADIES THREAD remember those??

YoursTruly

oh just realized the name of this thread refers cheekily to that other thread

sorry

i'm going to the library

swamp_knobbler_mahan

My lady has a copper IUD, not hormonal. Gonna get snipped next year tho. Year of the LASIK, Year of the Snip.

YoursTruly

they keep telling me I'm too old for LASIK!! Are you a good candidate?

swamp_knobbler_mahan

Fuck, I haven't checked! Guess I'd better. I've had co-workers who are 32/33 get it...

YoursTruly

When I was 35 they said I was too old

because "you're just gonna need bifocals anytime now anyway" and then you have to get a new surgery to correct for old-person eyes

??

YoursTruly

if you hear different PLEASE REPORT BACK

MirandaJuly

It's hard to take the snip leap for obvious psychological reasons, but if you have decent healthcare now, I say go for it. I did mine because I figured it would be stupid to miss the chance to do it for a measly $40 co-pay.

It's like 1/1000th as bad as that insane hip injection you got.

Cherry_Pie

I'm about 6 months into Mirena and I'm LOVING it. The appt to get it inserted was brief and easy but still a girlfriend came with to help with my nerves. I had what felt like bad period cramps the next day and mild cramps the day after that, then it was over. Then, as expected, I had light spotting for the next three months- no more than a panty-liner's worth of spots each day- and regular periods. Now I'm not getting a period or cramps or mood swings at all. I can totally understand wanting to have a cycle and be a natural lady, but personally I am delighted to not have blood in my underpants all the goddamn time. I have had zero side effects and I don't have to deal with condoms and if I ever want to get pregnant I can have it removed (or remove it myself) and I'll be baby ready literally the next day. Plus with Kaiser it cost me $15. $15!!! For 3-5 years of contraception!!

Cherry_Pie

Oh and if you try it and don't like it you can have it removed at any time and whatever symptom you have will disappear immediately. There are no lingering effects!

Do you listen to the Savage Lovecast? This week's episode is largely devoted to contraception, including IUD's and the apparently misunderstood lambskin condom!!

the_owls

I have the copper IUD, as I also cannot have any hormonal bc.
I love it!

Maybe not as completely awesome as Cherry's Mirena life, but pretty damn great.

Insertion was super fast, but also nauseatingly painful. I had to take the whole day off for weed, painkillers, and a nap. After about a week it was back to normal and not noticeable. It did, however, change my cycle for the crazier. I have cramps now that are in a wholly different class of pain. Like icepick stabbings, vs. low ache. So that's a thing. Also, period lasts longer. Still, I am overall more happy than I've ever been and have no regrets and no hormonal issues!!!!!!!!!!

Stick a thing up there!!!!

YoursTruly

I've heard this, that the copper one makes your period more intense. I already have pretty intense periods and am not sure I want to monkey around with them.

I really think there is just no good option for me, at this time in my life. But it's okay!

I am more concerned about getting my wild hormonal imbalance under control than I am about BC at this point. And actually that might mean going back on the Pill or something anyway, even though I don't want to. I have doc appointment on Wednesday.

Dalas, re: snip being way less bad than hip injection, it's true, but I have found that as a rule men are much, much bigger wieners about doctor stuff than women are, I think simply because women as a rule go to the doctor all the time for various upsetting reasons (PELVIC EXAMS?!!) and are more used to being uncomfortable and naked with a stranger jabbing us. I have many times had the experience of talking to a man who's horrified at the idea of getting a procedure that to me seems totally par for the course, but then as I'm making fun of him I'll also realize he probably hasn't been to the doctor since he was 10 years old, and the whole thing must seem nightmarish to him. I feel like I go to the doctor all the time, not even because stuff is wrong with me but there is just all this medical-type MANAGEMENT that goes into being a modern woman. Having a stranger stick their entire hand up inside of me and prod me with various implements that totally hurt is not great but good lord by this point I am pretty fucking used to it, whereas your average dude is probably not. The prodding of cold impersonal hands deep inside

Also though I believe it's been fairly scientifically documented that men have a lower pain threshold than women, for obvious reasons, so maybe actually men ARE just big wieners?

We may never know

"Men are like this...women are like this"

Catch my new comedy set at the Laff Factory on Wednesday mornings 9:00-9:04

MirandaJuly

Yeah, I hadn't been to the doctor in like 8 years. I'm a big time avoider. At least I'm pretty good about the dentist.

YoursTruly

I LOVE THE DENTISt

swamp_knobbler_mahan

They fixed my tooth chip last week but I re-chipped it on Wednesday playing with the cat ;(

Lucy

I also have the copper IUD (Paraguard). I've always had intense periods and severe cramping, so I wasn't THAT concerned with the added pain and heaviness. It took mine a few months to settle into place, but I expected as much.

Recently I've been taking zinc supplements to offset the added copper in my system and periods have been a breeze! Plus it lasts 10 years! I don't think this option is for everyone, but I am a fan.

the_owls

I did not know about adding zinc! I'm gonna do it!

flossy_log_lady

I recently discovered I have fibrocystic breasts, which means no bc for me. Anyone else have this issue? I guess it's pretty common.

YoursTruly

what is that?

my breasts hurt really bad all the time, all month long, but I just assumed it was part of my hormonal imbalance. WTF is this fresh horror

Leland

Funny.. I misread the thread as Ladies Who Lunch Naked..

Thinking I should snip. We called that Becoming A Gentleman, in reference to cats....

At lunch a friend (without heirs) said, My Vasectomy Has Paid For Itself Many Times Over...

flossy_log_lady

YT, it's basically "lumpy breast syndrome," which I discovered when I had a biopsy performed because my GP found a lump (scary)! All it means is that my breast tissue is lumpy, and yes, my boobs are tender a lot of the time. If your boobs hurt all month long, you may have it, too (you should probably talk to someone about that, if you haven't already, just to get it checked out). I don't think it's a big deal to most women, but I'm already on high alert for any lumps (my sis had breast cancer / a double mastectomy at age 32), so it's kind of the pits. That said, I haven't noticed any new lumps and it's been almost 8 months. I guess being on birth control makes it more likely that you'll get lumpier...

YoursTruly

:(

joey

If you're a dude who doesn't want kids, it's really fucking simple: GET THAT VASECTOMY. I feel impatient towards anyone trying to rationalize not getting one/delaying it when they have made up their mind about remaining childless. Why? Because women have periods, pregnancy and childbirth to deal with already. Not spreading your seed and not spreading disease are the only two true responsibilities you have in this case.

A man I know didn't want kids, but ended up with FOUR and he still acts like his ex was an enchantress and he had no control over his body and soul when they were together. If you love the one you're with and it is clear to you that you don't want to make a baby, then why wait? Why let your lady fuck herself up with hormones? Why create more pain? Are you waiting for an accident?

Miranda July, I admire you for doing what is right and for speaking to others about it.

joey

For the ladies of guys who want a vasectomy but keep delaying it, tell them that EXCLUSIVE BREASTFEEDING works great as a birth control method.

YoursTruly

hahahaha!! It's true

Lucy

Anyone else hear about this male BC option that is supposed to be on the market by 2016? Lots of dude friends were talking about it initially, but the buzz seems to have died down. Hopefully it will be a thing.

swamp_knobbler_mahan

I've been following it for a few years and it looks doubtful that it'll actually be available before 2020:

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/the-perfect-birth-control-for-men-is-here-why-cant-we-use-it?utm_source=vicefbus

https://www.parsemusfoundation.org/vasalgel-home/

MirandaJuly

Yeah, I was holding out for that one and even donated to the cause, but it became apparent that it won't be happening soon.

swamp_knobbler_mahan

I donated too $:(

YoursTruly

what a bummer for our dude friends and for the ladies who love them