Urban Honking

Kerry won, maybe. Disaster Mix V. 1: SECESSION. “A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free,” Elliott Smith. (“You disappoint me, you people raking in on the world.” There’s always more to deflate.) “Never Been To Spain,” Ike & Tina Turner. (Sexy number on the benefits of other countries. I will marry Barcelonans […]

CNN: Man Charged in Cheney Death Threat.

To everyone in the youth bracket who didn’t vote: I’m assuming you have an alternate plan, right? Well, it’s time to STAND THE FUCK UP. Meanwhile, I will marry any non-North American for citizenship in your country. Barcelonans given special consideration. Repayment in fascinating conversation and dance lessons. Then again: it seems irresponsible not to […]

Please vote for John Kerry today. And when he wins, let’s not rest until dude is camped out shoeless in the Betsy Ross room with a chilled mojito in one hand and a list of cabinet appointments in the other. Not sure if this is reality or Philip K. Dick, but there it stands. Great […]

Welcome to awesomeness.

NOTICE: Lest anyone else confuse the origin of the word “binoculars” and attribute it to persons of lesser slanguistic dexterity, let it be known that I am ground zero binoculars. I birthed it naturally; it is the product of a union between my masterful West Coast Valley Girl Intelligentsia speak with newfound East Coast 6 […]

Aside from Carson Daly’s stylist, the D12, and Eminem’s half-assedly lip-synced performance at the Shady National Convention last night, not much. Oh, you know, the usj… Busta had mouth surgery, Donald Trump delivered a speech, 50 performed “In Da Club,” Eminem scratched his eye with the mic hand mid-verse–and miraculously, the rap track soldiered on. […]

Grazie Crunky for sending Eminem’s “Mosh” video. Watch it. It’s the most important thing he’ll ever do. A different link here, in case the other doesn’t work.

“America! Fuck Yeah!” These are the lyrics to one of the three funniest songs in Team America, from a beefy WWE halftime-type of number you can imagine being sung by Vin Diesel or some other GNC nutrition powder poster-man . . . a little steroidal, with a pectoral posse chorus, Flying V’s wailing the solo […]

Je suis trop fatigue, from last night, to post anything substantial at this present moment in time — tired from Bibliomanica‘s party, where I got my body jacked (my mind thowed?) by catchdubs and c. ryan-billups and Crunktruculent’s big beeyootiful jawns. But today Ezra, smart Ezra, sent me an email of such nice cadence, I […]