No, I actually paid for this.

So out with it: I missed the boat reserving the opportunity to have a kid cut my hair for Mammalian Diving Reflexes, “Haircuts by Children.” Whoops. So on Saturday morning, when I was hanging around hoping for a cancellation, I decided I would make lemons out of lemonade to distract the newly christened stylists with some questions. Below are three short interviews.

Hair-cut-ee: Allison’s, who wanted 2 inches off
Brittney was a delightfully snappy girl, who was really fun to talk to. Her answer at the end made my day.
Do you know why this event was organized, what the point of this is?
Just to prove to grown ups that kids can do anything & it’s not fair that kids can’t do anything when grown-ups can do whatever they want.

How do you think Allison feels about this?
Nervous, because she thinks kids might mess it up.
Why?
She’s used to grown ups doing it
Why do you think grown-ups care so much about their hair if it just grows back anyway?
Because it’s important
Is it important for you?
Yeah. It’s important to look good, to model for people (laughs). I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.

Would you prefer a grown up or a kid to cut your hair?
It doesn’t matter, you can trust kids.
Do you think kids should be able to vote?
It doesn’t matter really, who you vote for mayor or president. It’s all the same, we’ll still go to school.

Lucky Fella: John, who wanted it short on the sides and back, and left a little long on top (AKA the opposite of a mullet, the Tellum)
Jairo is a shy kid with quite a hair style of his own, as you can see. I wish I had interviewed his dad who was proudly watching a few feet away. Jairo’s dad! Call me!
Do you know why this event was organized, what the point of this is?
I forget… to give me power
How do you think John feels about this?
Uh,… a little worried. I might cut it bad.
[To John] Are you worried John?

(John shrugs. Is John no fun?)
Why?
Maybe because it’s curly
Why do you think grown-ups care so much about their hair if it just grows back anyway?
(Shrugs. The kid is cool)
Is it important for you?
I don’t know. (Again with the too-cold)
Would you prefer a grown up or a kid to cut your hair?
An adult.
Do you think kids should be able to vote?
I don’t know.

Hair-cut-ee: Molly’s hair, who wanted a buzzcut)
Christina was sharp little girl who was a lot more interested in wielding the clippers than talking to me.
Do you know why this event was organized, what the point of this is?
Umm. So people can get their hair cut the way they want.
They can’t get that from adults?
Yeah, but maybe we can get a chance to do it before we’re grown up.
So you think it’s kind of a vocational thing?
[She looks at me the way a 5th grader does when you ask them something about something called “vocational” and I feel really stupid and go to the next question.]
How do you think Molly feels about this?
Excited.
[Molly]: You’re spot on.
Why do you think she’s excited?
She’s never had a kid cut her hair before.
Why don’t you think adults get their hair cut by kids?
Some adults think the kid might mess up.
Why do you think grown-ups care so much about their hair if it just grows back anyway?
Because they want it to look nice.
Is it important for you?
Um. Not really.
Would you prefer a grown up or a kid to cut your hair?
Adult.
Why?
Maybe because they know more about cutting. They won’t mess up.
They won’t?
They might, but not as much as kids.
Do you think kids should be able to vote?
Not really.
Why?
I don’t know.
.fini.
By Abe, miled-mannered reporter
Hollaback?