Approaching Locust
An Instructional Performance Piece in three parts to be executed on three consecutive days
Part One
1. Use computerized mapping database (mapquest.com) to locate 211 SE Caruthers Street in Portland, Oregon.
(Note: instructions provided by computerized map database will be incorrect. Follow them anyway.)
2. Get lost.
3. Arrive five minutes late for performance.
4. Stand outside for 10-15 minutes while staff a.) tells you it’s too late to seat you and then b.) tries to figure out how they can get you in.
5. Do not go in. (You can go tomorrow, and besides the performance is called “Approaching Locust” not “Locust Visitation”.)
Day Two
1. Repeat Step 1. above.
2. Do not get lost.
3. Arrive five minutes early for performance.
4. Stand around for 10-15 minutes while staff a.) tells you they’re “holding the house to see if they can get any more of the 20-odd people waiting around with you into the space then b.) tells you there is space for eight of you to sit on the floor.
5. Do not go in. You can’t because the house has been oversold. (You can go tomorrow, and besides…see #5 above.)
Day Three
1. Repeat Steps 1-3 of Day Two.
4. Stand around for 10-15 minutes.
5. Do not go in.
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I did step 3, wait I think it was step 1. Then I had, uh, an “accident”. I came back the next day and did #2 (the step!! the step!!) then I think had a seizure because when I woke up the next day I was smoking a cigarette and thinking how cool this art really is. Y’all should really see this show and just take the steps to make it happen then if it screws you up you know like psychology and whatnot you could enter a 12 step program or just like do a line dance or something. Well I have to step out now but I will see you all at the stairmaster. Love you all, gentle readers.