… of a great party.

Really I just wanted to show off the amazing dress my friend Stephen set aside for me at the rad vintage store in Denver where he works. He kept it hidden for months, waiting for me to come back and try it on. Stephen is like that. Anyway, it’s an eggplant lampshade that I never would have noticed if I were pawing through the racks, but man. Ain’t it something?

I started this year with one!
Yesterday marked the end of a lot of things for Ms Willow Wonder. For instance, at precisely midnight my first year in the envious role of Mr K. Mikey Merrill’s lady friend came to a close. Yup, it’s been a full 365 1/2 days since I tricked that man into dating me. Woo hoo! We celebrated by not really kissing because I have a giant cold sore (SICK SICK SICK!!!!) and not really dancing because Mike wasn’t drunk enough. BUT, we had an awesome New Year’s Eve party at the fiesta-friendly Jupiter Hotel with lots of fun friends and pink champagne. My favorite part of the evening was when a group of drunk (mostly) ladies- including and perhaps featuring myself- started “jamming” with Michael Jackson using our 10 cent noise-makers. It sounded a lot like, “I want to love you BWOOO BWOOO BWOOO, pretty young thing, BWOOO BWOOO BWOooo,” which is to say it sounded awesome. And lasted a long time. And was really very awesome. To us.
Yeah man, 2006 was ka-razy alright. I finished graduate school, thus becoming a MASTER, got my first real teaching job, my first apartment by myself, my first cat as a grown up lady, and I went on a cool Vegas vacation. Oh, and the democrats took control of congress- holla! I also got in a small car accident, fell out with a good friend, and found out my back is both too crooked and too straight. But all in all the good triumphed over the rotten, and I declare 2006 a success- the banner year that was predicted. By me. And Mike and (I think) Steve.
Soooo, 2007. You have got a LOT to live up to, I’m afraid. You better bring out some bells and some whistles. Right now, please.
I do have some resolutions. Of course. They’re pretty boring this year and I will probably fail, but I will share them with you anyway. Because boring is my gift to you!
1. Blog every day for a month. Starting today. Liz did it in November and it was rad.
2. Take my iron-rich multivitamins for crying out loud!!! All I have to do to stave off anemia is take the effing vitamins, and yet I almost never do. I got a very stern note in the mail from my doctor last week about just this issue, and I vow to do right by her! No more pale, spacey, chronically fatigued Willow! 2007 is the year of flushed, focused, chronically energized Willow!
3. Initiate more social occasions with my friends- at least one per week, actually. See, one of the benefits of having a very socially-engaged boyfriend is that there is lots of fun stuff to tag along to. The downside is that you end up at more business meetings than happy hours (if you have my boyfriend- I LOVE YOU MIKE!) and you don’t end up seeing some of your tight friends enough. Of course, without Mike I would probably have spent the past four months alone in my apartment seeing no one because I’ve been a leeetle depressed lately, so I am very grateful for all of the events he’s let me ride shotgun to. I’m just ready to plan some pit stops of my own.
I have some job related goals, too, but they’re so bizarrely specific I won’t go into them here. Although maybe as the month goes on I’ll get a little light on material and end up laying out my eight week plan for revamping my guided reading program. Oh, the joys that are in store for you, dear readers, in 2007!
Which reminds me.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a legitimate blizzard happening in Denver!!! Or rather there was a legitimate blizzard in Denver a couple of days ago, but I couldn’t blog about it until now because all of the wi-fi cafes were closed. Due to snow. My mom has a dial up connection on her PC, but honestly. I’m not a cave man.
I flew in on Tuesday night, which was lucky because by Wednesday morning the airport was closed. When I woke up there was already about 6 inches on the ground, and it was falling fast. My mom’s husband dug out his car and we made it to the grocery store 15 minutes before it closed. My mom was so wound up she pried open a set of automatic doors that were clearly marked with big yellow “PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR” signs. I kept saying, ‘Mom, Mom, Mom! Those other doors are open!” But she did not heed. At least she closed them behind her when she got inside. By 3:00 in the afternoon everything in Colorado was closed. I’m talking Taco Bells, malls, public transportation, schools, jobs, highways, post offices- everything. There was nothing to do but watch the coverage on TV. I kept thinking they were sensationalizing things, but then I’d look out the window and see a bus wrapped around a telephone pole and realize it was actually a crazy blizzard!

The next morning snow was STILL falling, and there was almost two feet of snow on the ground. By then I had a bad case of cabin fever, otherwise known as being-cooped-up-for-36-hours-with-my-mom-and-step-dad-fever. I needed out. I think Stuart (my mom’s hubby) did too. He spent two hours shoveling a path and clearing off the car. Then he drove me to Liz’s, god bless him. She and J were totally out of food, so we brought them a box of goodies.

I have never been so happy to see my best friend. Ever. We shared a bottle of wine and made a bunch of snow concoctions for a Digest entry that has yet to be written. Mostly we shared that wine. When it got dark we decided to brave the streets in search of food. J put in an hour or so shoveling (these blizzard men are so hardy!) and then we hit Broadway hoping my favorite Mexican restaurant, the Blue Bonnet, might be open now that the snow had calmed down. It was closed. So were the Chinese restaurants we passed and the fast food joints and the bars. The only place open was a Czech sports bar, where a group of our friends had gathered. We ate terrible nachos and fries prepared by a harried and under-equipped staff, but it was awesome anyway. At least we didn’t order the borscht. Afterwards we went and checked out the epic snow cave our friends had spent the day building:

Now the blizzard is over and the sun is out. It was 50 degrees yesterday. I’ve spent altogether too much uninterrupted time with my mom, and am deeply looking forward to some friend time this evening. Tomorrow I go to Silver Plume to see my dad (who as a snowplow driver is every Coloradan’s hero right about now). Then Christmas dinner with both parents plus Liz and Heather and their husbands and parents. White Christmas. Right here. We got it. Thanks, baby Jesus.

Well, I have 14 out of 22 report cards finished. They will go home Friday and then I will spend the next week leading up to Winter Break fielding phone calls and emails about why so and so’s first grader got a check mark instead of a plus sign in the “Routinely uses appropriate punctuation” category. We have to write one=page narratives in addition to the traditional report card, which is actually a great system except that I just spent my whole weekend working on them and I’m only at 14. Ah, well. That’s what weeknights are for, right?
I think I’m getting better at being a teacher. I feel like my systems and routines are in place, and I have more energy at the end of the day. There are still lots of places that I know I could improve, but I don’t feel like my kids will be permanently damaged because I keep forgetting to use leveled books for their take-home reading.
Outside of school I haven’t been feeling so hot. I miss my friends but I don’t call my friends because I feel boring, and I want to blog but I don’t blog because I feel like I don’t have anything to write about. Because I’m boring. The result of which is me feeling mildly to incredibly lonely and depressed, depending on the day. Mike is very gracious and nice to me, but he’s got things to do! He can’t babysit me every night of the week! It’s hard to know if it’s my job that’s making me feel this way, or the season (maybe I feel bad every year around this time?), or if I’m just going through a “thing.” God, the initial mission of Perfect Heart was to promote transparency, and yet I feel totally embarrassed admitting that I am sad. Ugh. Sad is dumb.
I am going to go to the gym and then take myself on a date to dinner and a movie. Tonight I am trying to be proactive about being a happy person. Here I go. On my way to the Lloyd district to be happy. See you later.

This Thanksgiving was a funny one for me. For one thing I was sick with a cold, which meant my eyes were burn-y and my nose was runny and my brain was very foggy. I was not particularly good at “conversation” or “thinking.” Also, this was the first year in many that I was not the host of Thanksgiving. Even when I was working at Baker Street in NYC, and was scheduled for a double on my favorite holiday, even then I bossed the Egyptian chef around- instructing him in the ways of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner- and I forced all of my Irish, Scottish, Moroccan, and Bangladeshi coworkers to come into the restaurant and eat with me. I gave a toast and made all of the un-Americans tear up.
This year I was exhausted from my first three months of teaching and (as previously mentioned) sick. I was looking forward to being a guest instead of a host. I’d met Mike’s folks the day before and liked them a lot, and his brothers and sister-in-law are great. I thought, “ah, a family Thanksgiving .” I decided to bring one dish (my simple yam, sweet potato, & apple bake) and leave it at that. But then on the morning of I woke up feeling sad. I needed to pick up the ingredients because I classically procrastinated the shopping, but when I pulled into New Season’s parking lot I was slapped in the face by the closed sign. I had to go to Fred Meyer’s instead, which was an absolute zoo. When I got home I was running late, and I couldn’t stop fussing over the dish. Luckily Curt helped me wash and chop:

But then the darn thing wouldn’t bake fast enough and we were running late anyway, so I had to take it out of the oven at my house and carry it on my lap to Gene’s where I promptly jammed it in the oven over there, fretting all the while. It turned out fine, if a little “al dente” and the rest of the meal (prepared by the Merrill’s) was wonderful. After we ate we watched a few competitive eating competitions on TV- everyone was full and cozy. I was still feeling a little melancholy though. Being with someone else’s (very nice) family made me miss my own family. And not hosting made me miss hosting after all.
After we ate Mike and I headed back to my neighborhood to say hi to Steve and take a little nap. Then we headed to the bowling alley for the annual Thanksgiving tournament. I bowled my best game ever (103) but Curt won the fabulous prize:

One year I won the trophy. And by won I mean stole. But it was an accident.
When we got home I was lamenting the fact that I squandered a perfectly good Thanksgiving by being sad when I checked my voicemail and Lo! There was a message from my uncle saying that he, my aunt, and my two cousins were in Hood River and headed to Portland the next day! Family! My family! I hadn’t seen them in years and was absolutely delighted to hear from them. They arrived in the next evening and I went with them to the lighting of the Christmas tree in Pioneer Square (very festive and also very crowded and also very cold) and to dinner and Powell’s. Today Mike and met them at the Saturday Market (ugh) and we watched a marimba band together. None of these were things I had planned to do with my weekend, but I ended up having a great time. They’re gone now- headed back to East Glacier, Montana- but I feel like my holiday season is off to a pretty good start. I’m r-e-a-l-l-y excited to go home for Christmas this year- I can’t wait to see Liz and J’s new place. And I’ve been missing my folks and my tight tight lady-homies and awful lot lately. Wow- I just realized I fly out in like, 3 weeks!
I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for my family.
I am thankful for the family of my friends.
I am thankful for the transportation that allows these people to come together.

Hi, um, I don’t know if you remember me? My name is Willow and I used to hang out here a lot? Heh heh, yeah I know it’s been a while, but it’s just that I’ve been out of town (meaning off the Internet) for a while. It’s not that I don’t like it here, I totally do! In fact I hope to be spending a lot more time here in the near future getting reacquainted with the place, catching up with the regulars- you know. I wanna get back in my zone.
The last couple weeks of school were pretty rough- Halloween plus rain-induced indoor recesses made for cranky kids and cranky teachers. Whoever invented indoor recess is a jerk and I hate him. Guess where the kids go during indoor recess? My classroom! Which means I can’t zone out at my desk eating carrots and reading UHX because there is too much screaming and block-throwing. Send them out in the rain, that’s what I say! A little drizzle never hurt anyone. (Though I don’t know if you can call the Pineapple Express storm that’s been tearing through this town drizzle. Whatever.) All I’m saying is that in Denver recess was always outside- often in huge snowstorms. We all bundled up in snowpants and parkas and trudged around the schoolyard while our nose-hair froze and sealed our nostrils shut. That’s what recess is all about! Being miserable OUTSIDE, not making your teachers miserable inside.
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Man, I can’t believe that of all the teacher-y things I wanted to complain about on my blog I decided on indoor recess. Weird.
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In other news my kitty is nice and snuggly and nice. Really nice. It’s strange to come home in the evening and have this warm, living thing greet me at the door all purring and cute. I pick him up and I can feel his little ribs and his little skull when I pet him. There is an animal living in my home! A domesticated beast curled up on my couch RIGHT NOW! It sorta blows my mind. Pets are good. I recommend that people get pets.
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As I type this I have two space heaters blowing directly on me but I am still cold. The boiler in my building is on the fritz, which basically means that any time I want heat I have to call my property manager who lives off site to come over and reset the boiler. It’s a jacked up system, considering sometimes I get home late at night or wake up early in the morning and am cold and can’t get ahold of her. I don’t understand why she doesn’t get the boiler fixed. This has been going on for two months now! She can’t enjoy getting phone calls at all hours about the same damn issue. I think she’s getting annoyed with me, and I don’t blame her. But damn! Fix the boiler! Josh looked up tenants rights for me and said that inconsistent heat is grounds for me to withhold my rent. I don’t want to go into all of that because I like my apartment and the owners of the building and even my property manager, but honestly it’s ridiculous. I don’t want to wear a coat and hat in my own home! What should I do? I called the lady today and left a message about turning on the heat and mentioned that I’d been looking into tenants rights, and would “love to talk to her about my findings.” Which sounds so passive-aggressive and I hate it! I sort of blurted it out and now I feel embarrassed. How do people deal with these things?
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I have a regular week at school starting tomorrow, and then I have not kids for the whole week of Thanksgiving! Monday and Tuesday are planning days and then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are straight up vacay days. Then I have three full weeks of school and then two weeks off for winter break. I’m soooooo looking forward to these breaks. Right now I don’t feel like Willow that often. I feel like Ms Teacher Lady and Ms Grumpy Blob. I’m hoping that time away from my class will restore some of my personality. A trip to Denver will surely help a lot. I miss those friends keenly.
Other people I miss right this second:
* Allison Halter
* Tom D (who warned me against turning Perfect Heart into a cat blog)
* Sweet Lu
* Dublin homies
Wow, blogging is fun- I should do it more often!

…of this small kitty. I named him Bruce Springsteen.

His litter was abandoned when they were only 2 weeks old, so he and his sibs were dropper-fed from a very young age. He is sweet and cuddly as can be, and has puzzlingly small whiskers and tail. Does this mean he will always be a small cat? Because man that’s cute! I stayed home with a cold today and it’s nice to have a warm purr-ball to keep me company. He is The Boss!
Here he is with Mike:

And here he sleeps:


I think he is happy in his new home.

Nuvaring
At around the two-week mark my emotions started to level off and I felt like Willow again, rather than the Amazing Hormone Girl. No noticeable weight gain, no hurty watermelon boobs, no migrains. There was some “spotting,” which I have been assured is normal during the first month of a low-dose birth control. So… yeah. I think I am going to stick with it for a while. I mean, the timer is really cool. :-)
Weird Things I Learned About My Body Since My Last Post
So it turns out that I was injured in the car accident after all. About two weeks after it happened I started to have really intense neck pain and headaches, so I went to my chiropractor who sent me for x-rays which confirmed that I have a cervical sprain. I’ve been going in for adjustments twice a week and massage once a week (I’m not complaining!) and I’m feeling way better. It’s all covered by my car insurance, which is surprising and awesome. Anyway, the radiologist discovered some other weird things about my body when looking for the sprain. Like I have some scoliosis (sp?). Not metal brace-worthy or anything, but still there is some unwanted spine curvature there. The funny thing is that it explains a bunch of mysteries about my body that have been plaguing me. Like, I need regular chiropractic care because my pelvis gets twisted pretty frequently, making one leg a little longer than the other. Why?! I am a healthy 26 year old! My pelvis ought to be in great shape, right? Well, if my spine is twisted it makes sense that my pelvis would twist, too! Pelvis mystery SOLVED! Also I have a rib in my chest that is protruding. Until now there has been no explanation (other than the romantic self-created myth that my heart is simply too large for my body.) But rib problems are a common symptom of scoliosis! Bony chest mystery SOLVED! Finally, every time I sit in a massage chair those dumb rollers hurt more than help when they roll up my spine. Because my spine is crooked! Brookstone discomfort mystery SOLVED! Thank you scoliosis, for providing a simple explanation for a smorgasbord of nagging concerns!
Also detected by the radiologist: I have a disorder called “Straight Back Syndrome.” Seem somewhat incongruous with the scoliosis (aka crooked back syndrome) , right? Well, that just shows what you (and I) know! Basically my upper spine does not arc as it is meant to, which means my chest cavity is too small. People with this disorder are prone to heart murmurs. Heart murmurs, do you say? Well that’s funny, considering I WAS BORN WITH A HEART MURMUR THAT WENT AWAY ON ITS OWN!!! Questions. Answers. It’s like season 3 of Lost, right here in the x-ray room! This disorder is not that serious, either. Eventually I should talk to a cardiologist, but I’m young and healthy and everything is cool. It’s just a good thing to know about for Later when I’m Old. Isn’t modern technology wonderful?
School
Oh, god. Where to even start? It’s going well, but it’s really, really hard and some days I am convinced that I am not cut out for it. But overall… oh, I don’t know! Ask me next summer. I’m too deep in the forest right now. My kids are great- very loving and funny. They are all builders. During Choice time, there will be one or two girls drawing pictures while 20 other kids build structures out of Legos, blocks, Marble Maze-anything they can find. Towers, bridges, you name it. My kids love to build. It’s funny, because the 1st grade class next door largely ignores their building stations. Why are my kids such engineers? It’s really endearing. I have lots of stories about them, but it’s Sunday night and I’m not ready to focus on my class right now. I’m trying to eek out the last drops of weekend before I hunker down in Teacher Land. Sigh.
Television
I have been so into television since school started. These are the shows I watch on TV: LOST, ANTM, and Project Runway. Well, PR is over, but I was watching it. I want to add in 30 Rock, Amazing Race, Heroes, and Studio 60, but haven’t yet. I also have an open invitation to watch SNL with Steve, but so far I haven’t been able to stay up late enough for it. Pathetic, Willow! On a Saturday night? Really unforgivable. I’m starting to build some endurance, though. It used to be that I was asleep by 9 on Fridays, and this week I made it to 11:30. So maybe by January I’ll have the stamina. (Pathetic!) Anyway. Mike and I just finished watching the Firefly series on DVD. Oh, Firefly, I love you so! I love your Old West sensibilities, I love how you flirt with formula, I love your alien swears. Why did you depart so prematurely? I need more Kayley, more Wash, more Jayne! Tonight Mike and I will say goodbye forever by watching Serenity, the movie that was made after you were cancelled to tie up all of your plot lines. I wish it could last forever! We watched the first disc of Battlestar Galactica this morning, but I can’t help but be resentful of it. Why did it succeed where you failed? Their captain doesn’t make dirty jokes! How can I love a captain that doesn’t make dirty jokes? I am not optimistic.
Friends
I miss my friends. I’m trying to be good about being social, but I’m basically game for happy hours and that’s it these days. Any hang outs that occur after 7pm are guaranteed to find me in a zombie-like state. Thus all the TV watching, I guess. Weekends I’ve been lying low, sleeping a lot, trying to stretch out the time. I’ve got to get a better system going, though. I feel like I’m losing touch with my homies and I don’t like it! On the other hand, Mike has very graciously adopted my schedule, waking up ungodly early with me and going to sleep long before any reasonable young person should. I might sound sarcastic, but I’m actually incredibly touched and grateful for his company. He insists he likes the extra motivation to get up early, but honestly. Who of sound mind would chose to rise before the sun? He’s a nice guy.
Money
Turns out I don’t actually make that much, after taxes. About what I made waitressing in New York, as a matter of fact. It’s depressing, considering I have a Master’s degree (and all the debt that accompanies it). But I have benefits and membership in a Union and a retirement plan, so I can’t really complain (even though I do. A lot.). And every year I am in the district I will make a little more, so it’ll be cool. Also, I do love gambling, so there’s always that option for doubling my earnings.
Treats
I’m learning that in order to get through this tough first year, I need lots of little treats to look forward to. Last weekend Mike and I went to Bend for a night. We stayed at the McMennemins there, in a room that had two bathtubs side by side in the bathroom! Like in cowboy times! It just happened that the Bend Film Festival was going on while we were there, so we went to see John Waters give a lecture. It was very funny. And also very gross. Today Mike brought me waffles and coffee in bed (he is very very nice!), and we watched the aforementioned Battlestar Galactica show. What should I look forward to for next weekend? It’s hard to match John Waters and waffles.
So that’s it, I guess. I’m sorry I got so far behind. It’s been tough, tiring times. But my spirits are pretty good, at the moment. Less weeping than last time I posted, anyway. I have a three day weekend coming up in a couple weeks, and then it’s not long until Thanksgiving. Baby steps, Bob, baby steps.

That blue thing in the middle is the nuvaring digital hourglass which is just about the coolest piece of technology I have ever seen. It lets me know how many days are left in my cycle and when to remove my flexible plastic ring. Digital hourglass! Awesome!
That little novelty is the only part of the nuvaring experience that I can confidently endorse. In the week since I began the program I have felt nauseous and sad. These may be side effects of the ring, or a combo of strange meals and teaching-induced-exhaustion, I’m not sure. The nausea isn’t that bad, really- it goes away if I eat a little snack. But depression? That is not what I need at all. Yesterday I cried about four times! I don’t know why! I was having a very nice day with Mike! It has to be hormones, right? I shouldn’t be in tears because I can’t find a comfortable bra at Target. I also shouldn’t be in tears at 11 am Saturday morning because “my weekend is almost over.” I’m hoping that my body will adjust to these new hormones and I will stop crying very soon.