seasonally affected

Well, I have 14 out of 22 report cards finished. They will go home Friday and then I will spend the next week leading up to Winter Break fielding phone calls and emails about why so and so’s first grader got a check mark instead of a plus sign in the “Routinely uses appropriate punctuation” category. We have to write one=page narratives in addition to the traditional report card, which is actually a great system except that I just spent my whole weekend working on them and I’m only at 14. Ah, well. That’s what weeknights are for, right?
I think I’m getting better at being a teacher. I feel like my systems and routines are in place, and I have more energy at the end of the day. There are still lots of places that I know I could improve, but I don’t feel like my kids will be permanently damaged because I keep forgetting to use leveled books for their take-home reading.
Outside of school I haven’t been feeling so hot. I miss my friends but I don’t call my friends because I feel boring, and I want to blog but I don’t blog because I feel like I don’t have anything to write about. Because I’m boring. The result of which is me feeling mildly to incredibly lonely and depressed, depending on the day. Mike is very gracious and nice to me, but he’s got things to do! He can’t babysit me every night of the week! It’s hard to know if it’s my job that’s making me feel this way, or the season (maybe I feel bad every year around this time?), or if I’m just going through a “thing.” God, the initial mission of Perfect Heart was to promote transparency, and yet I feel totally embarrassed admitting that I am sad. Ugh. Sad is dumb.
I am going to go to the gym and then take myself on a date to dinner and a movie. Tonight I am trying to be proactive about being a happy person. Here I go. On my way to the Lloyd district to be happy. See you later.

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5 Responses to seasonally affected

  1. Liz says:

    Maybe you need a little getaway to recharge. That always makes me feel better. I know you have a good one coming up in a couple weeks!

  2. J says:

    I know what you mean. I’ve logged onto blogger several times in the last couple of weeks and stared at a blank entry before deciding that I am good and tired of being stressed and unhappy and I am also good and tired of writing about such.
    I like how you have a mission though. My blog has no such mission. Maybe if I did, it would be easier to win the stare-down contest with the blank entry page (it never blinks by the way, and so always wins!)
    I miss you.

  3. momcat says:

    Don’t sweat the report cards…most parents don’t really take the time to read the specific skills list thoroughly, and they know as well as you that their kid is still working on mastering first grade skills. (But make sure you have samples of kids’ work in case you need to back it up!)
    Get done fast, and look forward to staying out late at night and sleeping late in the morning soon…

  4. awh says:

    from your potential date last night…
    i was glad you called me about a movie and sad i didn’t get the message in time to act.
    don’t worry, willow, you’re friends are busy too and they understand and will be all the more excited when you do get out. last night i was standing in a group of about five of our friends and felt overwhelmingly happy to have their company, knowing how difficult it can be to get just the people you want to see together.
    i never comment and you know that, but i just wanted to acknowledge that it was nice to get your message and i’ll get you back with a date real soon, slugger.

  5. Marissa says:

    I still love you:)

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