four dates in five days

Thursday: Beers at Amnesia –> Pizza at Mississippi
Saturday: House show at Ryan and Ethan’s
Sunday: Rode bikes to Lloyd Center Cinemas, watched Land of the Dead–>kisses and cuddles at my house until homework couldn’t be avoided
Monday: Burritos at La Bonita
AJ and I are on a roll here. It’s pretty fun. I like the following things about him:
1. He is from Detriot (well, the Detroit area, but still)
2. He has a great name (which under the pseudonym clause of May Whateverith I am unable to share with you- but trust me, it’s cute!)
3. He is so very considerate. He opens a can of Pabst before he hands it to me. Also when we ride bikes he always lets me ride in front if there are cars coming. And he introduces me to people he knows that we run into. (These may seem like small things, but I have dated many men. Good manners are not to be underrated!)
4. He makes good movies.
5. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders (also an underrated trait in the flaky world of art and music).
Today was my first day at my summer internship. I have twenty students who speak Spanish and some English. They are so cool. Jorge and Jesus are clowns, but when I gave them their reading assessments they scored very high. Lupe cried bloody murder after experiencing a running-cramp in PE. Javier looks like a Samoa and finds it impossible to follow directions. The teacher speaks to them almost exclusively in Spanish (which he is not really supposed to do, but whatever). He is very disorganized but sweet. He calls the girls “princesas,” and the boys “dragones.”
I was out of the house this morning at 6:40am. AM!!! Now it is 7pm and I feel like I could go to sleep right now. I still have about 5 hours of homework, so my big, soft bed will have to wait… Sigh. Graduate school is awesome.

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whoa, it’s sort of weird in here…

Wow. It’s really bright in here! I feel a little self conscious about writing my normal embarassing boy stories over here at UrHo. I mean, I know my readers are the same and all. But writing in a new place feels strange. It makes me suddenly remember that I am publishing the very intimate details of my life on the INTERNET of all places for any and all to read. “Blogging.” The personal blog is such an amazing concept. Basically I’m saying, “Here’s my diary! Why don’t you have a look?” I’m really into it. I’m into living a life that is as transparent as possible. I’m into writing as a way of processing all of my junk. And I’m into getting people’s instant responses to my neuroses (neurosis?). I like the feeling of writing everyday. I like knowing that my friends all over can check in with the mundane details of my day to day life. It makes me feel closer. I like it when I run into people at parties (like last night) who I haven’t seen in a long time, and they tell me they’ve been reading my blog- just keeping tabs. It’s so nice! I had a second date with AJ last night, and he had read through my archives just to get to know me better. Now it’s crazy because he knows me like, 5 times better than I know him. But it’s sort of a relief. He dug through all of my garbage after the first date, and still found me worthy of a second (and today we are having a third!) Him reading my blog means I don’t have a handful of cards to painstakingly lay down one by one. My cards are already on the table. I’m so glad.
I need to be doing homework right now. I need to be reading Child Development theory, and Edu. History texts, and Art Ed how-to books. I’m really scared of falling behind.
My friend Coco is designing a new banner for the top of my blog. But if anyone else has design/decorating suggestions please fill me in. (Or alternate banner designs ideas, in case Coco changes her mind!) I have exactly zero web design experience, so input from the peanuts is very welcome!

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I MOVED!!

Hey! I finally moved to Urban Honking! Check me out at urbanhonking.com/perfect. I’ll keep this address up for a while until we all get used to my new space, and all of my archives are transfered. But from now on I will be doing all of my posting over at UrHo. It’s very exciting. Check me out!

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My (almost) Perfect Heart

So this is my new place. Yeah, it’s really cool. Still a little messy- just moving in and all. But I’m into it. It’s a lot better than my old place (blogspot), and my new neighbors are awesome. I’ve started decorating a little. Put up some wallpaper. I’m getting a new banner soon. My friend Coco is making it. She’s like, a design genius! I still have a bunch of boxes at the old place. Curt is going to move them for me this weekend, I think. All of my archives and links and stuff. You know. But basically, this is it. Feel free to come over any time. Relax, look around. Leave me a note if I’m not here. Mi casa, su casa, or something!

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first week; first date

I think I’ll write about the date I had last night first, even though it is probably less important that my first week of school. If I save the juicy stuff until the end I’m afraid my dear readers will just skim through everything else.
Yesterday I was driving home from Happy Hour in Multnomah Village (my class has decided to make it a weekly ritual, god bless them) when I got a phone call. Hmm. Unfamilliar Portland number. Thinking it was a classmate needing a ride or assignment, I answered. But it was not a classmate, my friends, oh no. It was the cute boy I formed a crush on at the One Minute Film Fest last weekend! I know! What a surprise, right? He got my phone number from Adam P., who is his coworker at the coffee shop. And then he called me! And we had a nice talk! And then he asked what I was doing later! And we decided to have a date! Oh, the dreamy excitement!
I rushed home and took a shower (lately my natural deoderant has not been doing the trick). Promptly at 7 (god I love a prompt man) he biked up to my house. Just as cute as I remembered. So nice. I gave him the nervous tour of mi casa, making dumb jokes and shrugging a lot. Then we biked over to a nearbly brewery (I think)/bar. We sat outside. We drank beer. The San Antonio/Detroit game was on, so we went in and watched the last quarter. Then we were tipsy and hungry so we hit the Mississippi Pizza pub. We ate a slice. We biked back to my house. We sat on my porch and talked about gentrification. I was so, so sleepy, but didn’t want the date to end. Eventually it did, with a sweet hug and an agreement to talk again this weekend. Al Johnson (this is the pseudonym he requested- I’ll refer to him as AJ for short) is very nice. He is polite. He is smart. He is considerate. He likes movies that I like, and we discovered that we often go to the same shows. I think I will see him again.
Okay- graduate school. My goodness! It’s only the first week and I already feel like I am behind. It’s a one year program, so everything moves really fast. We have 1-6 hours of reading a night, and we journal on every book/article/experience/thought/idea/bowel movement/whatever. I really enjoy reading and writing (as you well know), so it’s not difficult to do the work, it’s just hard to stay on top of everything all at once.
My cohort (the group of 20 students who I take every class with) is really diverse and interesting. There are 18 women and two men. About half of us are in our mid-twenties, and the other half are older- many of them embarking on teaching as a second or third career. I feel humbled by my classmates. Everyone in the group shows such amazing passion and commitment. The range of international and cross-cultural experiences we exhibit is remarkable. I mean, I thought I was tough shit having lived in Dublin on my own until Victoria told us about spending a year in South Africa during the Mandela elections when she was 17 YEARS OLD!! And Crista worked in Guatamala, Carlie in Korea… the list goes on. When we have group discussions it seems like nearly every comment is valuable and on-topic. It’s such a change from undergraduate classes, when half the students always seemed to be just sliding by (myself often included). There are definately some strong personalities in the cohort. I’m sure that by the end of next year certain people will drive me up the wall. But for now everyone is friends, and the vibe is warm and appreciative.
Today I visited the site of my summer internship. I will be assisting at a school for the children of migrant workers in a rural district near Portland. My day will start at 8 am (!), with an hour commute each way. Ugh. I hate being up that early. The program is really cool though. It is mandated by law that students whose parents are identified as migrant (meaning they move from district to district based on agriculture or fishery) recieve special services. These include tutoring during the school year, summer school (which is where I will be helping), and emergency insurance. This is great, except that all of these programs are poorly funded. In the last year summer school lost about $58,000 in funding. But the teachers are making do with what they have, and we interns will hopefully be more help than burden for them. I met my mentor this morning. His name is Haver (pronounced Ever), and he has a great sense of humor, and a really warm demeanor. We will be teaching a 3rd grade curriculum.
****NEWS FLASH!!!**** I just got a call from AJ. He read my blog for the first time today and isn’t too creeped out. We made a date for Sunday afternoon. I assured him that after the initial first-date description I won’t blog about him so much. Just a mention here and there maybe. I feel like I’m getting better about the public/private respect issue.
And finally, happily, I would like to announce that my BLOG WILL BE MOVING this weekend. I have recieved the great honor of being invited to join the EXCLUSIVE blogging community that is Urban Honking. I am just thrilled. Switching to UrHo means that I will get more design choices, a greater readership, more control over who can read/comment on my blog (you know what I mean), and also just get to be a member of a rad online community. My new address will be urbanhonking.com/perfect. Don’t worry, I’ll leave this blog up with a link to the new one until everyone gets adjusted. And I will move my links and archives as well.
Okay. That was quite an update. The end.
xoxo
Willow Wonder

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Coming Soon

The future home of Willow Wonder.

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track suits and drowning

The other day I saw this lanky, young black man walking down the street. He was wearing a tan, velour track suit and one of those hats that Andre 2000 loves. He had a smooth stride. And he was wielding this weird walking stick/tree branch. It wasn’t finished or polished in any way. And yet it didn’t seem like a stick you could have found in the city. He didn’t seem to need the stick- he didn’t have a limp or anything. He was just sort of carrying it.
I saw a news segment that detailed the death of a young man on the Clackamas River. Two teenage girls had been swimming, but got caught in the swift current. This man and a couple of friends jumped in to save the girls. Everyone made it out okay except him. He died. He dies trying to save a life. But really, the girls weren’t in that much danger, after all. Is his death tragic or noble?

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Happy (belated) Father’s Day

[I wrote this for one of my classes, but I thought I’d post it here for my Old Man to read. WARNING: This is a VERY earnest essay!! Skeptics and Ironists read at your peril!!)
I have always considered myself a country mouse/city mouse hybrid. My parents divorced when I was four, and my mother stayed in Denver while my dad moved to the mountains. The rest of my childhood and teen years were spent divided between their homes. With mom I would go to movies and museums. She was great at sniffing out free cultural events, so we were always going to concerts in the Botanical Gardens, and street fairs in the Cherry Creek Arts district. We weren’t entirely city-bound. In the summer we liked to take day trips to a cold-spring swimming pool nestled in the Eldorado Canyon in the Flatiron Mountains. We would occasionally travel to the deserts of the Southwest or the towns dotted along the Continental Divide for long weekends. But most of my outdoor experiences were with my dad.
My father is a naturalist. He hikes nearly every day and enjoys biking, climbing, skiing, snowboarding, ice climbing, wind surfing, and just about any other outdoor recreational activity that causes minimal harm to the environment. He has worked as an alpine guide in North and South America, and as a field safety instructor in Antarctica. Spending time with my dad as a child meant spending time outside. I spoke to him on the phone today, and he reminded me of my first rock climbing experience, when I was five years old. This was before they made equipment for children, so in lieu of a harness my dad tied the rope around my waist in an intricate knot, and climbed along beside me while his friend kept me on careful belay. I scampered up the rock like a chipmunk under my dad’s careful watch. To this day I feel safe and sublimely happy at great heights with a warm boulder beneath me.
As happy as I was climbing, I was equally content playing at the base of a climb by myself or with a friend. One of our favorite climbing spots was just outside the town of Morrison. There was a creek that ran along the valley floor, and it was magical. A frequent friend, Becca, and I used to send flower petals down the creek on little leaf boats, watching until they toppled or disappeared from sight. We perched on slippery rocks and held our hands just at the surface of the water, feeling the current move under our palms. We gave ourselves Indian names, and made up intricate orphan stories, painting ourselves as heroes and rescuers. We would collect flora samples, making patterns with the leaves and stems. We would watch the red ants collect their treasures, and gleefully observe the hummingbirds that hovered and dove around us.
My dad moved to a small town called Silver Plume when I was 8 or 9. It was an old mining town, occupying a tiny valley at an elevation of 9000 feet. The population hovered around 150, and there were maybe 10 kids in my age group to play with. We tore through town like a pack of wild dogs. On bikes, scooters, or on our feet we traversed the length of town all day long. We knew when a storm was coming, and about how long until it would hit. We knew how to spot elk and mountain goats, and were aware of the mountain lions and bears that occasionally dipped into the valley. We made clubhouses in the forest. They boys in town were more enthusiastic about the actual building part. They would drag boards and tools up the mountain and build intricate tree houses in the branches of the giant Douglas firs. We girls were content simply to find a hidden circle of rocks to claim as our own. We would hide treasures in the tree trunks- bottlecaps and pieces of purple glass left over from the miners a century before. We drew ourselves maps, and marked our way with rock piles and stick-through-leaf signs that we adopted from Native American stories we had read.
As an adult I have worked with many children as a camp counselor, babysitter, and classroom aid. Many parents are nervous to leave their kids alone in the backyard, and would never consider letting them run around alone in the woods. I feel very lucky that my dad was not only permissive, but encouraging of my explorations. Nabhan and Trimble write about children feeling connected to the natural world, how it is essential for them to be allowed to discover the secrets of their environment first hand. I was blessed with a father who let me loose outside. He taught me about safety and conservation, and he trusted me to make good decisions.
As I got older I went on longer trips with my dad. We went camping and backpacking. He tool me on a month-long expedition in Bolivia that he was a guide for. We kayaked in the Northwest and hiked in the jungle of Panama. Later I became a camp counselor and tried to impart some of what my dad taught me to the kids in my care. Mostly I tried to set up conditions for the kids to find the connection themselves. I hope that as a parent and teacher I am able to do this on an even greater level.
A question for class discussion:
Nabham and Trimble often infer that classroom environmental education is inadequate, that kids need to spend great chunks of time outside to feel a true connection to the natural world. How can we as educators help facilitate this connection within the confines of our urban classrooms? How can we create valuable wilderness experiences for our students that will marry the cerebral and visceral concepts of nature?

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embarassment at the film fest

I went to the movies by myself yesterday.
Cinderella Man: Not as cheesy as I anticipated. Russel Crowe, who I normally can’t stand, exhibited a quiet dignity as James J Braddock, the Bulldog of Bergen. Usually I find Crowe to be a tediously arrogant performer- a Mel Gibson for the ’00s if you will. But in Cinderella Man he is understated and powerful. His face looks sort of smooshed and weathered, and he flashes this adorable 3 Stooges-type smile from time to time that is totally endearing. Paul Giamatti’s performance is also spot-on. Clean shaven and confident he is the man we all want in our corner. There is none of his trademark whining and self-indulgence. Renee Zellwegger (sp?) was mildly disappointing. I’m usually a fan, but this time around her whispery voice and perpetually pursed lips were a little much. Watching such a well made film about the Great Depression really got me thinking. I mean, our country is so incredibly mismanaged. Whe have a national debt that is upwards of seven trillion dollars, our industrial and technological jobs are being outsourced at an alarming rate, we have a rapidly growing roster of enemies, our public school system is struggling, environmental regulations are being bulldozed, social services are being slashed, and interest rates are beginning to rise. How long before the weight of the administration’s recklessness topples us? How high can we go before we crash?
After the movie I hit Ladies Poker Night at The Other Liz’s house. Erin, Kirsten, Nicole, Liz and I played (my favorite group!). I won ten dollars! Two full houses in a row plus a couple other decent hands brought me the big money.
After that I headed to Holocene for the One Minute Film Festival. The place was packed. There were fifty films playing in two rooms. Mine was number 27. I was nervous and excited. Mike, Josh and Freddy of UrbanHonking came out to support me, which was such a nice surprise, and a lot of my other friends were there as well. Three films into it I began to wish that no one had turned up. All of the other movies were either funny, ironic, or abstract. Mine was one of maybe three earnest films, and the only one with voice-over. In context I’m afraid it seemed sacchrine. I got a lot of positive feedback afterward, but I’m secretly sure that people were cringing for me on the inside. I still like my film a lot, I just don’t think it fit in very well with the others.
After the films were over there was a dance party. Steve Walsh was the DJ, and he played all of our favorite hits. After such nerves and embarassment I was ready to let loose. I spun and bounced. I slid and shimmied. I two-stepped with Katie and did the grind with Suzy. There was a cute boy who was shaking it like a pro. I asked around and found out that he had made my favorite one minute film. I winked at him and he waved. I told one of my girlfriends I thought he was cute, and she came out with a plethora or stories about him that sort of dampened my enthusiasm. I hate Portland sometimes! This town is too small. Any time I talk about liking a boy there is someone who knows his ex, or heard a story, or thinks he’s creepy. When are friendly cautions warrented, and when are they just too much? I mean, of course I want to know if someone I like is dangerous, but do I really want to know he’s anal or whiny or sort of weird before I even talk to him? It’s hard to resist listening to this kind of gossip, and yet I’m sure there’s plenty of it about me out there (‘don’t kiss willow, she’ll blog about it’, maybe?). I guess it doesn’t matter, since I’m retired from the rebound (or trying to be).
Today i’m going to a Naked Ladies Party, where everyone brings unwanted clothes to be thrown in a pile and picked through by ladies drinking wine. I have a huge bag full of give-aways. I hope I snag something good.

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oriented

Today was my graduate school orientation. I am now oriented. It’s a sort of weird process though, especially when you break into small groups. I hate sitting in a circle of strangers and sharing my first grade memories, or whatever. In that situation you can always tell right away who you are going to end up hating. The know-it-all girl, the smug dude. It’s all vaguely competetive and awkward. But I sat next to a couple of really nice ladies, which was heartening. And Dusty and I sat together at the luncheon, so I had to opportunity to talk a little shit and have a laugh. It was cool- Dusty and I grabbed an empty table and the Dean of the Graduate School came and sat with us. Nobody else joined the table, so it was just the three of us for half an hour or so. Usually this would be a sort of uncomfortable situation- lots of small talk and whatnot. But he was really cool! We talked about our families a lot, marvelling over the wildly different life choices members of the same family can make. The conversation flowed very naturally, and it just pumped me up.
The other Dean (I don’t really get that either- maybe he’s just the Dean of my program?) gave an amazing speech in the chapel. He called for all of us to Follow our Feelings! Value them! He commanded us to be courageous reasoners. We are not to Regret pursuing a career with a modest financial reward. He commended our commitment to a life of service, especially in these sinister, greedy times. He was soft spoken and kind. I love him now. I wish he was my uncle or something.
So all in all I’m thrilled. Classes officially begin on Monday, and then it will be a 13 month whirlwind out of which I will emerge a Master of the Art of Teaching. Holy shit.

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