10…9…8….

I have ten more days of teaching children and then it will be summer. W T F . My first year of first grade is almost over. I’m not going to get all sappy (today) but I just want to note that Something Big in the life of this lady is drawing to a close. I have not had time to fully process this fact however because other things keep snatching my attention away. Like:
* This morning Mike and I left his apartment only to find human shit on the front bumper of my car. That is correct. A human person emptied his or her bowels onto my automobile sometime between 11 last night and 11 this morning. GROSS!!!! DOUBLE GROSS!!! We went immediately to the car wash, but alas a trace amount of shit remains on my passenger-side headlight. GROSS!!!!
* I have jury duty on Thursday. I have never served on a jury or even really been to a courthouse, so I’m kind of excited. I’ve learned from friends that in the jury waiting area they have coffee and free wi-fi and big tables where you can sit and do your work. I am going to try to get my report cards done while I’m there so that the next day- which is a teacher report card work day- I can sleep in and drink beer. I would like to be called for one short, easy trial. Just to see what it’s like. Can I request that? I would prefer a civil trial so that I don’t have to deal with blood or violence in any way. As I type this I realize that despite years of watching Law & Order I have no idea how trials work or what it really means to be a juror. Hopefully it means drinking coffee, writing report cards, and declaring “He’s Innocent!” after spending no longer than 40 minutes in a courtroom.
* There are many Big Events coming up at school in the next three weeks. On Tuesday afternoon we have our Farm Open House, where parents and our buddy class can come by our room and check out the model farms my students made. Let me tell you how many pink farm houses there are on these model farms: 7. There are also a number or pink silos. And a ninja fish farm. Anyway. Field Day is also coming up, as is our class party in the park. There’s going to be pizza! And games! And the parents are going to organize the whole thing! And then pretty soon it will be the last day of school which is actually a half day, which means the kids leave at 10:45. 10:45!!! And that day happens to be Hannah (my teaching partner)’s birthday, so we are going to go straight to her house after the kids leave for a sweet BBQ. And then it will be SUMMER!!! 10 weeks of SUMMER!!!!
* The last thing that is distracting me from deep, thoughtful reflections on this personal and professional milestone is the movie Knocked Up, which I saw this Friday and have not been able to stop thinking/laughing about since. It is literally the funniest movie I have ever seen. Ever. I loved every single second of it and I want to watch it every day until I die. It’s that good. You know who I am in love with? Besides Mike? Basically every person in that movie. Especially Paul Rudd. Best Paul Rudd performance of all time. Go see Knocked Up. Right. Now.
!!!UPDATES!!!