Last weekend a few of us went to dinner at Veggie Chinese, and then to Ground Kontrol, this late night video game place. I must admit, I was snobby at first. I thought “late night video game place? NERDY!!” I guess I forgot for a moment that I in fact AM a giant nerd, and thus had a lot of fun. I played Super Mario Bros 1 while sitting at the bar drinking MGD, and it was AWESOME! I beat everyone who played me, and I overheard the bartender telling Jessica that I was really good, and had a “smooth style.” Oh yeah. Let me add “Mario 1” to the list of things that I am good at:
1. Mario 1
2. Hula hooping
3. Putting my foot in my mouth (figuratively)
4. Driving
5. Doing the “shimmy”
6. Picking out shoes for myself and others (ask Steve and Mike to testify)
7. Being a bridesmaid
8. Making toasts (arguably)
9. Roller skating
10. Whistling
I’m having trouble thinking of other things. But ten talents ain’t so bad, I guess.
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I’m babysitting the twins tonight, but they’ve been asleep since I got home, so I’ve been doing weird things to pass the time. Like, um, cleaning my room. And, uh, waxing my mustache. My barely perceptible mustache. The mustache that every person I know has either claimed not to see, or insisted was “totally mellow.” The thing about lady mustaches is, once you even suspect that you have one and it’s noticeable, you stop believing your friends. You think they are being nice by swearing to be honest and scrutinizing your upper lip and proclaiming it to be mustache-free. They are just trying to protect you. Secretly they’ve been praying that you notice it and get rid of it! That’s why they had that mustache growing competition and invited you to all their mustache parties! It’s like that SNL skit when Rachel Dresch has a ‘stache and is clueless as to why she’s been invited to be a guest on the “stachin’ it” talk show, or whatever. So eventually you buy a home waxing kit and have at it.
I was feeling really optimistic when I got out of the shower and started reading the directions. It seemed easy enough. No heating the wax up, just apply cold and voila! No more hair. I thought that I would start with my upper lip, and then maybe hit my underarms and bikini area. I’ve been waxed before. It’s mellow. Of course in the past professional ladies did the waxing, and they are not clumsy. I am very clumsy. And also not good at beauty stuff. To make a long story short, my lip hurts, it’s sort of red, and though it’s tough to call it yet, I’m pretty sure my ‘stache is still there. I did not get to my underarms. I did not get to my bikini area. I shoved the entire home wax kit in the back of a drawer and shuddered. Apparently I will not be adding “waxing” to the list of things that I am good at any time soon.
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Willow, I am surprised you would even consider at-home bikini waxing after what happened to Jen (at camp). DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU?
Also, I have never noticed your ‘stach and that is the honest truth.
Yikes. The back of the drawer is where my home waxing kit went. I saved it for a couple of months thinking I’d try again, but I ended up just throwing it away.
I am actually pretty accomplished at the do-it-yourself waxing. Although I have never been brave enough to try the bikini thing. Next time I’m in Portland or you’re in Denver, I can give you some pointers!
I am also convinced that I have a ‘stach… but I honestly can’t recall noticing one on you. Damn that upper lip hair. Can’t it tell a lady when it sees one.
willow,
let me just say that i am into waxing so majorly, and am totally a pro at waxing at my home, but even so, the bikini line is something you need to go to a salon for. or else get a riiiiil good friend to help you out – you totally need another set of hands! someone has to pull the skin taut, then the other to do the actual “waxing”. even when i get this done at a fancy-dancy salon they often have me lend a hand, which ensures that the wax comes off smoothly with no/minimal bruising (i have sensitive skin and bruise easily!). nothing is worse than the dreaded “there’s a huge chunk of wax that is rapidly cooling on my sensitive inner thigh, and i have tried repeatedly to rip it off, but it won’t come off, oh my god, what am i going to do!” also, that hurts.
i find that waxing one’s legs (from the calf down) is a good way to practice one’s waxing skillz.
p.s. i never shave!
Please upload a picture of Future Man STAT
Giant Magazine just did a small blurb on the coolest Arcades in the US and it actually wrote-up Ground Kontrol. It sounded cool enough that I considered forcing people to go with me when I’m on Portland in March.
Hmm, I wax my own bikini line inbetween salon visits for the uh, “big job,” as it were and I’ve never had a problem. I use the wax strips, though, which are a lot to maneuver than actual drippy, globby wax. I’ve never waxed my lip before, but I’d hazard a guess that the delicate face skin would be far more sensitive than the comparatively rugged area where thigh meets body, so I’d go ahead and give it a shot.
Um, I want to know what happened to your friend Jen at camp, though, that sounds like a story.