I have this idea to keep a list of human contact as I go through my day. I mean actual, physical contact. Just for one day, to see how often I really connect to people. You know those stupid studies- humans need 7 hugs a day to be happy or whatever. I feel like people in high school spouted those stats all the time. Anyway. I DO need a lot of contact. I need to touch people all the time just to keep me grounded and in my body, as opposed to dreamy, way out in space. So I am a patter. I pat people on the shoulder when there is a break in conversation. I am an arm-rubber. I am a nuzzler. I am an occasional butt-stroker (with certain friends, after drinking certain cocktails). A lot of teachers hate working with young kids because they don’t like to be climbed on and dragged around by the sleeve. I like it. I have a harder time with the older kids who won’t just crawl into your lap when they are sad or hurt. Anyway. Both yesterday and today I tried to take note of all of the hand sqeezes and side hugs that I give and recieve in a normal day, but I keep losing track. I’ll start the day with kisses and cuddles with AJ, then head to school, bleary-eyed and blinking. Victoria or Megan might rub me on the back as they say good morning, or Kathleen may whack me on the arm when she laughs at my dumb joke. I touch Erin’s elbow to get her attention, Shelley gives me a huge hug when she returns from her holiday trip to Cali. At my internship today I taught two lessons (on insects), and lots of kids came up to me to show me their artwork, placing their hands on my arm to get my attention. One little girl, who is sort of clingy, insists on walking down the hall with her head resting on my arm. I love it.
I would hug my friends all day long if I could, like when I was a teenager and everytime we passed each other in the hall at school we wrapped our arms around each other. With Liz and Heather, my closest lady friends, I feel free to squeeze and wrap at will. We watch movies and snuggle, hold hands while we shop. But then we’ve known each other forever. Part of realizing I’m now an adult has meant keeping my physicality in check. Wanting to respect my friends boundries, not wanting to give dudes the wrong idea,not wanting to be weird, blah blah. I notice that most of my human contact now comes in the hand-on-arm variety, which is cool. And having a steady fella who lives in my town definitely helps satiate my contact thirst.
Sigh.
Growing up is lame.
Hugging is fun.
Where are my ladies at?
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its weird though, i become more of a ‘contact’ person as i get older. when i was a kid i HATED anyone touching me, hugging me, holding my hand…but now i guess i’ve got used to a boyfriend who has to squash me into a corner in bed in order to have some element of contact with me all night
i sort of envy how uninhibited little kids are that way. it’s so simple. if they like you, they give you a hug or grab your hand or kiss your cheek. i love that. i am definitely a hugs/kisses person.
Nothing like a trip to Denver to fill up your hug quota! Miss you!
im a hugger too… and a toucher. but i think taiwan changed me a little bit. it was awful for awhile. i would reach out to touch, nudge, poke, shake, rub someone… and they would literally jump back! living in such tight quarters with so many taiwanese people, and rarely did i ever get touched. i tried to start a hugging trend amongst my friends there… and it sort of caught on… but never like it was in the states. but now that i am back, im the one who hardly touches people! i don’t understand what happened to me! thats why it was so good for me to come to portland where people hugged me. that was special. i think i may have made the complete return to my hug-fueled days.
Willow! I miss your butt pats sooo much! I miss the youthful days of snuggle puddles and group dancing where everyone is pressed up against everyone else. As much as my friends out here are lovey, there’s no where near the same level of touchiness…too bad.
I love a child’s touch. There’s nothing that makes me feel better than when my nephew gives me a “squeeze hug.” It’s so incredibly sincere and honestly loving. It just eases my mind.
I wish I could teleport or whatever they do on Star Trek so I could get a hug from you right now!
dearest wonderwillow, it was so nice to get some l&a from you the past week. as i’m reading i’m jealously taking stock of all the willow touchin’ i get: “yep, definitely get the arm holds, hmm….butt patting, do i get but patting? i’m sure there must have been at least once…” so good to be connected again-lovelovelove you!
do the “stupid poodle” owners keep up with your blog? that gave me a good chuckle!