more challenges, more kisses

First things first. I’ve been wanting to write about my surreal Saturday since, well, Saturday, but Ultimate Blogger is sucking up all of my cyber-time, so I’m only getting to it now, Wednesday. Saturday was so weird. I woke up and immediately got online to strategize with my ally, James. We decided to make friendly contact with the other, giant alliance, so we invited Ritchey into the chat. (This is so nerdy. I know.) We informed her of our ideology, and as a gesture of confidence, told her how we were planning on voting. She didn’t reveal much about her alliance, and James logged off to get some rest. So then it was just Ritchey and I, and we got to talking about Jake, and break ups, and friendships, and it was so deep and powerful. She may be my enemy in the game, but damned if I don’t love and respect that girl. Anyway, at one point I wrote, “I loved him, Ritchey,” and she replied, “I know. You loved each other. It was real.” And then all of the scaffolding around my heart just collapsed. It was so good to hear, to be reminded, but it hurt so much. There was a poem in the New Yorker right around the time we broke up by Michael Ryan called ‘No Warning, No Reason,’ that begins this way:
Because he left her, she must make him
someone she doesn’t love, rescripting as
deception their hand-clasped walks at dusk
when she felt his was the hand of God
linking her to him because she was
so blessed to be given this love
this late in life. It must have been lies:
each touching word, all thoughtfulness,
his shows of pleasure putting her first…
I think I had started to do that, to pretend that he never loved me at all because it was easier than knowing he loved me and then just didn’t anymore. Anyway, it was an amazing conversation, however painful. I was all worked up afterwards, so I went to see Million Dollar Baby at the Lauralhurst by myself. It’s such a sad movie; it was perfectly cathartic.
On my way home I got a call from Suzy, saying she and Steve were at a weird hippie, Cinco De Mayo party on Hawthorne. She said I should collect Ryan and head over, which I did. The party was every bit as weird as she said. It was in the empty lot next to a college house. There was a trampoline. (What adults have a trampoline?) There was hay spread all over the ground. There was a jam band. There was a Pepsi One billboard that lit up the entire party. There was a LOT of beer. We were waiting for the grill to get going, and somehow we ended up staying for like, three hours. We did not mingle at all. By the end we were so bored we almost called it a night. But then Mike and Renee showed up, so we headed to the Aalto lounge for a more intimate party.
A word about Renee. This girl is crazy. She’s the kind of person who can get a room full of half-sober, fairly uptight adults to play a raucous game of Truth or Dare with a raise of her eyebrow. She wears amazing costumes. She tours around the country teaching Wilderness First Responder and EMT courses, never staying in one place for more than a month. And yet she is a good friend, trustworthy, fun. She, Mike, Ryan and I stayed at the Aalto late, talking about movies, book ideas, traveling, and staying put. It was another one of those conversations, like the one on the night of the Miranda July opening, where everyone seemed so smart, so gifted, so connected.
The next night I went to the bar with my friend Tarp, who told me that he asked Amy to marry him, and she said yes. (Their proposal story is amazing, but I think I should ask permission before I publish it.) The wedding will be next summer, and will be an act of theater more than anything. They are thinking of making a Pope Benedict puppet to perform the wedding. All of the guests will wear costumes. I can’t wait.
Aren’t you all impressed by how long I’ve gone without mentioning Ultimate Blogger? See! I still have an actual life in addition to my virtual one! We vote today, and I’m hoping it is unanimous against Joel, because otherwise I am at risk. My photo entry didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped, and I feel very vulnerable this session. Thanks to all my friends who post supportive comments on this blog, but don’t forget to post them on the UB site as well, if they relate to the competition. I gotta look strong and powerful, you know? Show I have an army of fans…
Finally we come to the part of this broadcast where I Kiss and Tell. Last night I went to Guy’s house to edit our movie, and he happens to live next door to Aandrew, and I noticed his truck’s window was down and it was raining, so of course I had to call him to let him know, but he pointed out that it was silly to be talking on the phone when we were 30 feet away so… Well, let’s just say more kissing ensued. Man that brother knows how to kiss a lady! Mmmm…
PS Eveyone please send your warm feelings to my sweet friend Jess B who’s father is very ill. She is coping really well, but could definitely use all the positive energy we send her way. I love you Jess. You are doing great.