perfect heart broken

Grr. I just spent over an hour working on a post, only to lose it right before I could publish. This is my luck right now folks. Maybe the post was too focused on the banalities of my life-since-heartbreak, and losing it was a sign to return to my fantasy land. So here we go:
“I woke this morning in a hay loft, the sunlight golden as it filtered through the dust and pollen. My body aches from days of riding, the slow burn that reminds me I’m alive. My fine painted steed is called Melinda, and is on loan from the cowgirl ranch near Laramie. One of the cowgirls, Betty, rode with me for a while, and she was a good companion. Quiet, but not with sorrow. She didn’t have a destination in mind, just liked the feel of her seat in the saddle. Betty says there’s no such thing as good and evil, only fear and love in a constant struggle for our hearts. I asked her which would win out, in the end. She just smiled, and at first I was hopeful, but then a tear slipped down her cheek, and now I’m not so sure. She turned around in Pueblo, but not before she kissed me on the mouth, so tenderly, and told me Melinda would see me safely on. I ride today toward Santa Fe, to sagebrush, and rattlesnakes, dark blue skies and a lover I left behind many years ago. Is it too late for apologies to cleanse my heart? If I say I’m sorry to all I’ve wronged, will I finally be lifted? Grasshoppers danced at my feet as I stretched this morning, as swallows dipped and soared above. I will go East soon, but first…”
Thank you dear friends for your sympathy and support. Calvin says all you can do with a broken heart is suffer through it, and that is just what I am doing.
Willow Wonder