Both vegetarians and carnivores have beef with fake meats. Veggies argue the strangeness of eating a reconstituted version of the exact type of food they are trying so desperately to avoid. Meaties go one step further and ask why we would even bother eating fake meat? If you like the taste of fake meat, why not just go for the real thing? Both sides are missing the proverbial boat: Fake meat doesn’t taste like real meat, doesn’t behave like real meat when cooked and most importantly doesn’t have to be harvested by an exploited living being.
Put this stuffed roulade plate in front of both sides of the battle field, and both will murmur: “Woah dude…this is vegan?!” Continue reading →

To serious vegetarians and vegans, fish is verboten. And that’s just too bad, especially considering most veggie rolls are pathetic (tomato and cucumber is a waste of rice). Here we’ve used miso shitakes to mimic the rubbery protein of raw fish. The crisp compliment of cucumber is awesome, as long as it isn’t the main dish, and of course buttery avocado. Instead of sticky sushi rice, we used forbidden rice. The purple-black color is a nice change–much more wholesome than the bleached shit. Continue reading →

Soy-a-phobes are constantly complaining about tofu’s lack of flavor and its freaky texture–and sometimes they’re right. Here’s a sandwich that will make your weak-minded meat friends and your vegan cohorts coo with coagulated bean contentment.
We used baked tofu for this sandwich: You can find it in the refrigerated section of most Asian markets. It will usually come with four small, brown bricks per package, and sometimes it will be labeled as “smoked” or “savory” tofu. This type of curd is ideal for many applications because it’s totally firm, it’s very low in moisture and it has a slightly sweet taste unlike the sometimes-tepid flavor of its soggy brethren. Buy a pack of baked/smoked/savory/whatever tofu, make this recipe, then use the leftover tofu on your grill, in your spring rolls, stir-frys or scrambles. Continue reading →