Pints of Powder

Of all the scandals we’ve studied in our country’s history, this is by far the tangiest. Stone Brewing Co. has sold thousands upon thousands of glass jars of spicy mustards mixed with their delicious beer. Whether stouts, ales, or IPAs, nothing cuts the sting of good mustard powder like beer. But apparently, Stone Brewing’s sub-sub-contractor decided the beer they were given to make the mustard tasted better poured straight into their pint glasses. That’s right, they weren’t cooking with the beer at all. For shame! Like eating O’douls mustard.
While our friends at Stone handled it gracefully, it does make you wonder: Why not just buy a six-pack, drink five of ’em, and use the last 12 ounces to whip up your own mustard! That’s what our Internet-friend and pickling penpal Matt decided to do. Matt’s a stand-up dude with good taste in blogs (he reads this one) and even better taste in his kitchen projects (kick-ass pickled pumpkin that he dropped off for us to try several months ago).
So to give all of you red-blooded Americans a genuinely alcoholic mustard option to slather on your soy dogs this up-coming Fourth of July, we bring you two Stone-beer mustard recipes from the kitchen of Matt Velick. They take a couple days so get crackin’.
As for Stone, no hard feelings. The brewery is hosting a vegetarian-beer tasting dinner July 13. There will be beer in the food. Take it away Matt!

Stone IPA Pub-Style Mustard
Makes about a pint
2 cups mustard powder/flour
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. turmeric
2 tsp. honey
12 oz. Stone IPA (flat)
1. In a food processor, combine all dry ingredients and pulse to mix.
2. Add the honey and mix while slowly pouring in your flat beer until everything is blended and of a smooth consistency.
3. Pour mustard into a jar, seal, and leave out at room temperature for 2-7 days. (The flavor will initially be a sharp and sinus-destroying assault, but the longer it stays out at room temp, the more the flavors will mellow and begin peace negotiations with each other. When you’ve had enough of this mellowing business, stick it in the fridge, to aid preservation, obviously, but this will also lock in the flavor index you’ve settled upon).

Whole Grain Imperial Stout Mustard
Makes about a pint
8 oz. Imperial stout
2 oz. dark, aged rum (I used 23-year Ron Zacapa)
1 1/2 cup brown mustard seed
1 cup red wine vinegar
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. white pepper
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground mace
1/2 tsp. ground allspice
1 Tbs. honey
1. Combine all ingredients in a non-reactive bowl. Cover and let sit at room temperature for 24-48 hours, to let the mustard seeds soften, and to allow the flavors to get to know each other.
2. Blend in a food processor until mustard mixes and thickens, but not so much that it destroys the mustard seeds, as this should maintain a “whole-grain” appearance. When it looks good to you, you’re done.
3. Jar, seal, refrigerate.


A note on sourcing: You want good quality powder. Here in L.A., Silver Lake Spice Station and Nicole’s Gourmet Foods in Pasadena are good sources for mustard powder in bulk. You can also order brown mustard seeds from legit mail-order companies like Penzey’s. Beware bunk spices.