Cruisin’ with Ruben

Not having grown up on Frank Zappa’s music, or dark and sugary American strong ales for that matter, we venture to offer that both those things could be described as “difficult.” And difficult is a fine word for Lagunitas’ latest (and last) seasonal beer tribute to freak-rocker Frank Zappa. This one, a weird dark tagged ‘Ruben and the Jets.’
Don’t trust us; just check the beer-o-sphere. This beer has confused grown men.
Each tribute, if you haven’t followed, has targeted a particular Zappa album for inspiration. But while the others have been hoppy IPAs cloaked in gaudy neon labeling, this last attempt is a real stumper. This brew tackles “Cruising With Ruben and the Jets,” Zappa’s testy doo-wap parody album — half sweetly sincere and half smart-ass — along with its iconic, cartoony, dog-faced sock-hop album art. Apparently the album was released in the late 60s as a tribute to the Brooklyn doo-wap that Zappa grew up on, it spurred an actual album by a band named Ruben and the Jets in the 70s that Zappa agreed to produce, and then got re-released in a completely different version in the 80s.
Classically confusing. And the beer does not fall far from the tree. Though sparkly new and remastered, this syrupy 8.6% alcohol beer tastes more like the treasures that have sat in the Hot Knives beer cave for months. Bittersweet and metallic, like the beer version of smelling spit on your palm.
Pouring this is like unfurling a pair of folded corduroys — all shabby satin brown. In the glass, the beer swirls like room temp cola, not modern Coke of course but old-fashioned ice cream soda jerk style. Chocolate egg cream or malted shake with the acrid taste of a metal spoon left in the glass.
Unlike many beers, we drank this one for weeks (research). After a beer event a rep tossed out two cases of Ruben and said to take it home or give it away. And each time we pop one, its just as amusing. But we can’t put it any better than the confused beer blogger we mentioned above. After scolding a stuffed monkey, calling the brewery “Lagoonadas” and declaring that this would go ‘great with scallops’ this confused dude says “I’m very impressed with this beer, even though I have very little understanding of what it actually is…” Exactly.
Dairy Pairy: Red Leicester
Soundtrack: Frank Zappa’s “How Could I Be Such a Fool”