Matouk’s Hot Calypso !!!

In grade school, Andrew Mueller and I were inseparable slackers who smoked things out of coke cans in his backyard, and dabbled in vegetarianism together. After high-school we parted ways, but every once in a while we bump into each other and bond over increasingly strange, but endearing, things: tequila, botany, pickled eggplants stuffed with goat cheese balls.
The last time we hung out, a couple months ago, he pulled this hot sauce out of the side door of his fridge and made me slather it on a stale cracker. My mind–along with a few million taste buds–were blown.

Matouk’s Hot Calypso Sauce is best filed under the “tropical habanero” category. The first ingredient, naturally, reads “pickled Scotch Bonnet peppers.” The staying flavor, however, is more of a fruity mustard. Strong vinegar with spices and a hint of papaya flavor make it that rarest of rare hot sauces, with such a tantalizing flavor that you actually end up eating far more of the stuff than you should.
The Scotch Bonnet being the hottest variety of habenero, the proverbial fire level on this baby is high, but the lime tartness and banana sweetness temper it. Matouk’s makes those weak African simmer sauces that white people are so fond of look like Pace “picante.” As a hot sauce, this stuff works on nebulous levels. As a marinade, it’s infectious. You can douse veggies in it, then char grill them–the sweetness stays, the heat burns off. Or simmer the shit out of some black beans with a couple Tbs. of it dumped in at the beginning. Or even plate a piece of seared tuna with trails of Matouk’s and Sriracha crisscrossing for both taste and decoration.
If you don’t have an Andrew Mueller in your life, who scours weird Trinidad food stores, your best bet is online.
**posted by Evan**