Let Us Now Praise Famous Children

I somehow inadvertently made Wednesday night my night to post on this, my web log. I guess because it’s more or less at the end of my work week and so I don’t have to get up super early the next day. But, after getting up early four days in a row, caring for children at work, and then caring for my own children at home, I’m pretty goddamn tired on Wednesday nights. I might have adjust this set up.
I feel as though I have the same dynamic with a lot of customers and even sometimes employees as I do with my children. It’s always a struggle to get people to listen, to respond when spoken to, to use their words, to not throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way, and to say please and thank you. Because I have these interactions and dynamics on multiple fronts throughout my day it is slowly–though accelerating–driving me out of my fucking mind. Soon I think I’ll begin snapping at the people around me like I snap at my children. Why not, really? I mean, my sons are inexperienced. They should get the most leeway. I should really snap at grown folk, adults who’ve had their whole lives to learn how not to act like assholes.
At New Seasons tonight I saw the cover of the most recent Mothering Magazine which listed an article titled: “How To Be An Authentic Parent.” It’s so hard to know what someone might mean by “authentic” in terms of parenting. I consider myself an authentic father just because I successfully impregnated the mother of my children. But maybe that isn’t enough in today’s crazy world. Or does “authentic” mean–as Holden Caufield might interpret it–that you act the same in front of your children as you do around anyone else? Well God bless Google and it’s searching abilities: it might not be helping the Chinese people, but it sure does come through for me.
Now I’m not positive that the Mothering article is about the exact same school of thought as what I found, but I can only assume that it’s related to authenticparent.com, which is run by a woman named Naomi Aldort who is a family counselor and an author. What I got from looking over the site, is that being an “authentic” parent means staying out of your kids way. Read for example, “Getting Out of the Way.” Nothing about the site or the article particularly struck me, though I think it’s impractical and like many progressive–hippyish, I don’t know what to call it–parenting styles it is predicated on a number of factors that are somewhat class–ist: the person must have the time, energy, and patience that is nearly impossible without high income and a decent education. There are exceptions to ever situation, I know, but in general if you’re poor and work an hourly job you dislike, you’re less likely to have the time, energy, and patience to actively observe and assist your child’s play without interfering.
I digress I digress. Ms. Aldort goes on to say that it’s important to not praise children, because it will “…foster dependency on external validation and undermine the children’s trust in themselves.” Again I disagree, but whatever works for other people, kudos to them. Then, at the bottom of the article Ms. Aldort has a link to her son’s website. Her son is a child prodigy cello player and the site goes on and on about all the awards he’s won and has numerous quotes from people saying how amazing he is. And it sounds like he is amazing. But seems a little incongruous with being an “authentic” parent. Phonies.