LIVEBLOG: PEARL JAM’S “TEN”

I’ve got two treasures in my handbag tonight. The first one, Felipe tossed to me just before I left the office: Cocaine City 12 DVD starring Jada, Styles, Yayo, French Montana and Max B, and et cetera. He was like, “This is for you,” so casj, and he had another copy on his desk so I didn’t feel bad taking it like I did his other Max B DVD, which I still have not returned. SORRY, FLIP-TASMO!
The second treasure came in the mail. It is the deluxe, enhanced, anniversary, 20,000-page mondo mega jam box set of Pearl Jam’s Ten. I loved this album when I was a wee chile-the image of Eddie Vedder on MTV unplugged singing with the arm-Sharpied words “PRO CHOICE” resounds with my then-budding feminist self-but I’m not sure if my love of these tracks comes from being a rural teen desperate to hear any song that was vaguely interesting or if it is actually a great album or if it’s cause my first real boyfriend, Jeff Chavez, god love you wherever your ungoogleable ass may be, listened to it constantly when we were youths falling in baby-love, my baby-love.
Hence: I am now LIVEBLOGGING PEARL JAM’S “Ten” as an ADULT.
1. Once.
This song is opening on some stoner drum rhythm then starts guitar-jamming. Eddie Vedder sounds like he has been smoking 40 packs of cigarettes and has a Rambo artillery belt strapped to his thrifted army vest. The chorus is a melodic hook, which is obviously why they got mega famous/retained their fame til now/forever. Eddie is singing “Once… upon a time… I could control myself…/… love myself/…” is he singing about Viagra? I guess it wasn’t invented then, so no. Mucho angst.
2. Even Flow
Was this not the jam? Did this always make you think of tampon commercials? Cause it always has for me. “Thoughts arrive like butterflies” is a stupid lyric but I remember thinking it was profound in jr high. The conclusion, “he don’t know, so he chases them away/someday yet/he’ll begin his life again” makes more sense to me now. This is metaphor dudes! AVOID EVIL TENDENCIES… IF YOU DARE TO BE AN AUTOMATON. Live life everyone! Embrace yr heavy flow. Not into the several grunge guitar solos, still into the melody of the vocal hook. I like how Vedder sounds like he smoked a million cigs but is still innocent.
3. Alive
Wait no this was the jam. Right? I honestly don’t think I can accurately evaluate this with the distance of time because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen 20,000 people karaoke this song since the ’90s. Shit is too long. Next.
[sidebar: My roommates are DEFINITELY getting skeptical at my loud song choices right now]
4. Why Go
Opening is very spaghetti western soundtracky in its drums and bassline. EdVed still sounds like the Marlboro Man. He just sang about a girl who was committed and “diagnosed by some stupid fuck”-clearly because she was an eccentric in some way in her community and was exiled, which now reminds me why it made sense back then. The outcast vibe is deep. Also: spelling outcast without a K feels weird.
5. Black.
You know, this song is beautiful. They should have kept the acoustic flangey guitar from the beginning on for the entire time, but when Vedder is not trying to clear his throat, which is most of this song (most), the prettiness and sentiment comes through. Vedder’s Marlboro is working for him. Yo but is this about sex or about this dude killing someone??
6. Jeremy
Oh yeah, THIS was the jam. The intro is fairly epic with the gongy percussion.Then it’s a song about school suicide, written before Columbine, and we all kinda got it cause we hated our lives. VEDDER! YOU’RE A DARK DUDE!
7. Oceans
I can’t objectively listen to this one cause me and said Jeff boyf from 1776 were in separate cities and the whole OCEANS DISTANCE THOUGHT idea was mega importante, but I will say these guitarists did a great job of guitar-interpreting the ocean sound. Next up: baby seals
8. Porch
Speed grunge. I hate this song.
9. Garden
Hello dudes who are loving Led Zepplin! I skipped this song so we could listen to Nevermind, metal stoners. Also this guitar solo SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSS. Am I torturing myself? Was I that in love with Jeff Chavez in my teens? SO glad I’m old now.
10. Deep
MORE GUITAR SOLOS. SKIPPING. SORRY DUDES.
11. Release
This song is like my yoga teacher, who is rad thru the class then makes everyone lie down for 15 minutes at the end and do the three OHMs. No one is into it but we feel like we have to do it for closure.
[BONUS ROUND: the whole time I just wanted to listen to the outtakes from the Singles soundtrack. LIVEBLOG: PEARL JAM songs from SINGLES SOUNDTRACK!]
1. Porch
I loved this track from the Singles stck cause IT HAD A HOOK and DUDE WAS NOT TRYING TOO HARD. Also, harmonies. NO IDEA what the words are. Who cares. At this point my favorite singer was [and stays] Mariah Carey.
2. State of Love and Trust
It’s fast, hooky and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DUDE IS SaYING. Still, the hook. Why did they put the most melodic songs on soundtracks? Pearl Jam I understand the antagonism but Nirvana had HHOOOOOOKKKKS in the ’90s. Why were you such dorks?
Assessment: THEY WERE OK IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL. JEFF CHAVEZ HOPE YR AWESOME. GLAD I GOT THIS SHIT FOR FREE IN THE MAIL.