ON THE PURITAN SASHA FIERCE.

Okay. I been knowing about Beyonce’s enabling alter ego Sasha Fierce since she talked about her in a, I believe, 2004 Rolling Stone interview/cover story. I thought that was awesome: I’m utterly fascinated with artistic alter egos, the psychological transformation and bravery that getting into character supposedly gives people like Bey, Mary J Blige (Brook-lyn) and particularly Mariah (Mimi), my favorite armchair Jungian analysis patient. Also, having an alter ego is so excellently diva and by diva I mean drag queen. But here she is, flaunting her Sasha Fierceness on her new album which is, with the exception of 3 songs, slightly less exciting than a stone stewing in crone’s broth. I wanna ask, What is so Fierce about ballads that tiptoe emotionally around acoustic guitar. My theory is that she is suffering from Usher-style post-marriage syndrome, where you get hitched and suddenly everything is about your boo but your boo is super old so you start recording adult contemporary music so s/he can understand. No dis to Jay (mostly), this is more about Tameka. Either way this album is a giant songwriting SNAFU.
Or maybe Beyonce is using “Fierce” in the contemporary banjee inverted sense, where calling someone fierce means the exact opposite? It’s possible, I’m certain that tranny in the “Single Ladies” video is the great vogue diva / choreographer Danielle Ninja. (YouTube her if you are not on my level.) Who else would link her up with a Bob Fosse routine?
So she’s looking really mean on the cover of Elle. They should fire whoever did her eyebrows. But what I wanna talk about is the fact that she said her MOM had to LEAVE THE SET a couple times during the filming of Cadillac Records BECAUSE SHE WAS CURSING. AND THAT BEYONCE CURSES “MAYBE TWICE A YEAR.”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
The worst part is I don’t think she’s lying. The worst part is I am quite positive Ms. Knowles is telling the truth. This is consistent with her good girl image which I don’t believe is actually an image. But I’m suffering from dissociative aftershocks. SASHA FIERCE… NEVER FUCKING CURSES. I know this is very inconsequential ultimately but it hits a nerve: I have been obsessed with how Twilight‘s giant abstinence metaphor and the totally crazy-making sexual tension in the movie (where they don’t even kiss until 3/4 of the way in) has a ridiculous hold on this country, and how I feel like, even though Obama won, the puritans may be winning this round of the culture wars. ABSTINENCE? NO CURSING? WHAT ELSE IS LEFT? PROHIBITION? I just re-watched the movie Frida and was reminded of how excellently she lived: with joy, with expression, a full glutton who drank, smoked, took lovers, cursed, did whatever she wanted and became who exactly she wanted to be. An individual, now that’s fucking fierce, and I don’t mean in the banjee sense. I mean it in the Webster’s dictionary sense.
Beyonce, I fux w/you when you’re doing shit like “Single Ladies,” but Sasha Fierce with her “chilling by the fire with a glass of chardonnay got my Isotoners on” music seriously needs to fall back.
RANT / BRAIN SPEW IS OVER, GOING TO THE GYM.