BACON EGG AND CHEESE

As you may know, I am a proponent of anything remotely related to the Mayan apocalypse, having come from a lineage of curanderas and having grown up in the ’80s, when I knew that nuclear detonation was the surefire way I was going to croak from the time I was four. But the news that Girl Talk is planning to go out on the Mayan Apocalypse does not intrigue… it simply further confirms my hunch that Girl Talk is the McBLT of people who learned how to use Serrato. That dude’s music is shite, he basically splices together everything my second cousin played at her wedding at the Knights of Columbus in 1993, and has figured out a way to sell himself to people who don’t know any better. Some day we are going to find out he is an elaborate street seeding ploy dreamed up by Wieden and Kennedy to market Dexys Midnight Runners’ back catalogue. He is the Hamburglar. Robble robble. Puke.