MIU DIOS!

Vanessa Paradis’s photos for Miu Miu’s ad campaign totally dropped and all I can think about, aside from my envy at the fact that she gets to do it with Johnny Depp on a nightly, is that this fly snitch has popped out two seeds! TWO! I hope if I have at least one kid (god forbid) I look half as awesome in the wake of the afterbirth. But then, elle est francais, et that means she has superior genes cause the French are acclimated to having pan au chocolat and crossaint d’anande and shit, all before noon. Regardless, I am glad they had the makeup artist paint her face pink and red, it’s almost like they let her kids do it, which looks rad and somewhat “Ladies and Gentlemen the Fabulous Stains“-vs.-Debbie Harry after 32 hours at Studio 54. And secondly, I am hoping the “VP” sewn onto all the new clothes is a reimagination of what the world would be like if Vanessa PAradis were the Vice Prez instead of Dickhole Cheney. Oh wait those are her initials. NEVER MIND.

Here is Vanessa Paradis in an equally impressive sartorial masterpiece which follows my “summer is all about Salt N Pepa Black’s Magic” outfit decree.