THE TRANSFORMATION: I NEED YA RIGHT NOW!

Kanye West’s “Stronger” video. I wonder if Spank Rock is salty that homeslice is totally jacking his flow. Granted, he sounds like Spank Rock on a particularly self-censurious day. And bored. Sampling daft punk. Donning slat glasses. He sounds like he would rather be ordering oysters and salted caramels from the bar. Or like he is rapping from the inside of the New York Times Magazine. Or like he has just asked Candi to turn up the banana spray on the Hawaiian Tropics and he’s like, half faded off a appletini. Here’s a little free advice: if you wanna ride fully upon the Spank Rock Jock-Steed, you gotta step up the anatomical diagrammage in your rhymebook! Naeem raps about the flaps of vaginas and shit and the KIDS LOVE IT (presumably because they got their “sex ed” classes slashed along with “art” and “gym” when Bush stopped funding the schools). Kanye, we know you know the names of all the right fashion houses. Now familiarize yo’delf with the parts of a woman:

(In the constructs of this video paradigm, does that mean

=

?