YOU CAN ACTUALLY HEAR ME 2 STEPPIN WHILE I’M RECORDING THIS. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

BEYOND THE DANCEFLOOR. REAL LIFE APPLICATIONS IN MUSIC.
“AY BAY-BAY. OH!!!”
I almost fell off the elliptical trainer at my gym because of the “2 Step Remix” (Unk, T-Pain, Jim Jones & E-40). 2 stepping while working out on a machine is hazardous = who knew? GRANTED, this song is inevitable – the tin-can synth sounds so bananas with Tallahassee Pain’s extra-layered roger troutman chorus skipping and crackling “ohs” all on the bass like oil in a fryin pan. Jim Jones says “now catch us 2-steppin/ i got my goons reppin [dipset!]” – the most self-aware moment of his career? – “we turn the VIP into the do it do it section.” That’s riiiight. And getting E-40 on this remix was such a genius idea – tho his verse isn’t his hottest, he’s a non-southern dude with enough swagger / unique style to do justice to the whole party-with-fresh affair – and from a purely musical standpoint the tone of his voice is a nice touch :
“two faces not us two faces at once
grittin gettin it in
hustlers R us never no punks
ill 2 step on your chin”
This morning, Shanel caught me dancing on the street to this song. I had forgotten I was in public. Not that it would have mattered… but I had.
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“AND IF YOUR FATHER REALLY HATES ME, WAIT TIL YOU’RE CARRYING MY BABY.”
If you are trying to get five numbers before you even make it to work, listen to Chico Debarge’s “Virgin” and make eye contact with fly fellas on the train. It’s like sending out an estrogen alert. I know I said Al B. Sure was an “immaculate conception” song – so sexual you are already pregnant before the inevitable rhodes solo – but it applies here, too. This shit comes with the babies already made for you. No, it’s true. He puts it on thick, in a voice with fingertips: “Before the night is done, I’m givin you a son.” GET BUCK, CHICO. GET. BUck.