pusha/malice vs. pharrell = “balls of fire” vs. my ob-gyn

In case you are sitting flank w/me at the nerdfest: In my original write-up for “The Clipse” (#7 Hell Hath No Fury) for Pitchfork’s “Top 50 albums of 2007” feature, I had originally called Pharrell’s beats “gruesome and impersonal as a speculum,” however the “speculum” part was edited out. Still, I keep returning to the idea of Pharrell’s beats on Hell Hath as analogous to a speculum, which is the metal gynocological instrument meant to crank open your vaginal cavity so your ob-gyn can get a look-see at the ole cervix, before taking a cotton swab, or “pap smear,” to ensure your overall cervical health.
Like Pharrell’s beats for Hell Hath No Fury, speculums are penetrating, cold, necessarily invasive, utterly asexual, go down a little easier if you’re lubed in some way — and, of course, somewhat gruesome and impersonal. If you have never experienced one, it is probably because you are too young, a male, or do not have health insurance, in which case I recommend hollering at Planned Parenthood because they are sliding scale.
Some models also resemble a duck or a pelican.
quack, quack
“Speculum-like” is also an accurate way to look at how The Clipse approach women on Hell Hath: with a certain clinicism and manner of distance.
Shopping, on the other hand — whoa. Peep toe pumps, holler.