MUY MONDIFICO

It was blizzarding all weekend, so I stayed inside, because Jessica warned me that blizzards are like armistice–9 mos later, babies come out. having no interest in actual reproduction at this present time i stayed alone and left my apartment only twice. the first, i was dehydrated from the radiator, which emits a constant WWHHHHchhhhh-sshhh-shh, the sound of a hot springs–and which vampire-sucks every last bit of moisture in my caffeinated to the point of passing-out body. to the bodego for bottled water and a tampico–which inspired the new slang “MUY TAMPICO,” thus far used as exclamation, or phrase to cover up the space when there is silence and i know nothing else to say. so if we are talking and i am like, “MUY TAMPICO” and I am not modifying a noun, it probably means i am gripped with mind-numbing terror and trying to change the subject. MUY TAMPICO, like lighting fireworks for distraction before i make a break for it. some people fight, some people flight, i speak in tongues. say word.
the second time was after receiving the frantic text message “get in a cab NOW–YR CRUSH IS HERE” its tone mimicked the urgency one might use to summon a person to the hospital. “I BROKE MY LEG, GET HERE AND FAST”
so i took a car to greenpoint in the blizzard.
i would do that and did. i did it. i took a car service to frigging greenpoint on a bet, even though the crush does not meet my criteria: i made a pact w/jessica to only date men who own, or are at least in serious negotiations to buy, a helicopter.
(unless you are donald fucking rumsfeld in which case you can go straight to hell.)
this band was there, so MUY TAMPICO, possibly the best band i have seen in new york thus far, so good they made my friend gigi weep into her dixie cup of wine. and she is not prone to those sorts of things, and i am nearly positive she was not drunk. worst band name ever (“stars like fleas,” which makes me think of scabies) but i feel like they should play Brooklyn Academy of Music soon; they were doing 21ST CENTURY MUSIC in a way you could tell they actually had some training and knew how to navigate. but not so married to the idea of doing 21ST CENTURY MUSIC, and not so dissonant/slaughterhouse like Zs, it was all about le charming melodee…after a measure of improv their piano-computer guy would raise up a drumstick, all offishal-like, and conduct them back into unison. they had alto sax, banjo, computer, drummer, melodica doing the pretty pollock art-splatter parts and one unflashy singer playing earthbound–he was even hunched on the floor and singing down into a mic so we had to pay attention to the players– a ragtag mini orchestra just free enough to let their melodies float above them like snowflakes. because no two are alike.