Press SIDplay, sit back, and relax

Whoa, mami. It has come to my attention, both in person and via this MTPPS weblog, that certain competitors and audience members of the Portland All-Area Laptop Battle 2003 are dissatisfied with some of the judges’ choices. While I will never rat out my fellow judges, nor will I divulge my votal leanings lest the code of honor/oath of silence be violated and the integrity of future laptop battles be compromised, I will say that certain decisions (especially Dampkrane vs. Deceptikon and the aforementioned, highly controversial Glomm vs. Y.A.C.H.T. deathmatch) were incredibly difficult to reach consensus, often hinging on the very agonized vote of one person. It was, as put by Steven OPB Cantor, choosing between apples and oranges, or choosing between the carefully composed, conceptual naturescape vs. the IDM jam, as in the case of Waterdog vs. Deceptikon. And how is anything ever decided upon? Through a series of subjective paradigms, rooted in the individual and collective histories of each of the judges, held up to knowledge of other musics, of other programs, of life experience. In the end, it is every nanosecond of every moment in time, collected in one snap decision, affecting all the future, everywhere, from that point on, through the ages of eternity. It is the meat of life’s sustenance.
I find the assertion that my giving Jona (Y.A.C.H.T.) the “Most Profusely Sweating” award was a slap in the face, a slap in the face. Do you know how long it took me to embroider little laptops on sweatbands? THE ENTIRETY OF the WINGED MIGRATION DVD, plus additional scenes, dude. I am a slow embroiderer. But Jona deserved every moment of every bird caught midflight by minicam, if you consider “sweat” to be the physical embodiment of love, exertion, determination, endurance and sheer human will. As I do. A slap in the face? Nay–an offering. Would Good King Wenceslas turn his back on an offering? I think not. He would accept it. And pass it on to those less fortunate. Only to be murdered by his own brother. Chew on that.
The judging was excruciating. I would say it was a nightmare but nightmares are not fun, and the laptop battle was inspiring, dramatic, exhilarating and educational. FUN. The talent was astonishing; the turnout, moreso (hey, where are you guys at all the regular shows?!?!?!). Some of my favorite compositions included flexy, improvised drums burrowing deep into my naisty soul (Dampkrane) to manic pop ‘n’ bass (Y.A.C.H.T., Waterdog’s second set), and the second to last Strategy number, which was crazy cabana house–crazy cabana enough to compel Steve Schroeder, an onlooker, to play air bongos. Deceptikon won the championship, in a breathtaking final sweep after Strategy’s laptop shit the bed–reminding us all that even technology is mortal.
Indeed, there were haters in the crowd, but it was a battle, after all. Even in Portland, it’s not like we should’ve expected group knitting, tea sipping, vegan marshmallow recipe-swapping, or other conventions of civilization. I got booed several times. Did you see me running home to mommy? No, sir, you did not. I simply flipped those cowardly, anonymous boo-boo heads the bird from the stage, and God raised my hitpoints by about 25 or 26. You should totally go to Hip Hop Tonight sometime—the shit-talking at that massive hater potluck makes even the bouncers cry. It makes Brock Lesnar writhe around on the floor like a little baby, and dude isn’t even there. You’ll be eatin deep dirt!!
In a Lesser assertion of ridiculosity, and in homage to the roots of the contemporary laptop composer and ’80s brethren, today I spent some time on the horn with Los Angelean Seth Sternberger. As 8-Bit Weapon, Seth uses SIDplay, a program that emulates the sounds of the Sound Interface Device, which was the first digital analog synthesis chip for computers. He runs it on two Commodores, with a Pong paddle controller, remixing old video game theme songs and composing original music. Seth’s part of a community of composers who make“chiptunes” or “micromusic.” Though some micro is indeed house, it is not to be confused with microhouse.
ADDENDUM/CORRECTION 12/22:
Seth would like to point out that he does not, in fact, use SIDplay on 2 C64s. He uses SIDplay on 2 PCs. “Live, I use a c64 with a music machine cart, and a c128 with a SID synthcart (wich uses the Pong paddle to alter the resonance)…As well as a Gameboy classic (big grey one) with a sequencer/syhthesizer/sampler called little sound DJ!”
Which is way cooler than what we’d first imagined. Apologies to Seth for short-shrifting his bonkers set-up.