my dad farted!!!!!

I never imagined that hearing my dad fart would bring me such joy. Thinking back to my early childhood memories, my definition of the word “stinky” was informed by the odor that my dad left in the bathroom after spending a deal of time in there. “Smells like roses” he’d always say, but I knew that ‘stinky’ equaled that lingering scent in our bathroom that only my dad was capable of creating. Foul, bad, gross, yucky… but more than anything; stinky.
But now, sitting in a hospital in Kalispell, Montana, the event of my dad farting is a cause for celebration. Only a couple days ago he had some major surgery on his intestine because it somehow got blocked and clogged up. His belly was cut wide open and his entire intestine was literally pulled out of him and placed on a tray next to the operating table. The doctors examined the intestine, found the segment that was clogged, cut it out, sewed the remaining good parts back together, stuffed the intestine back inside him, and then stapled up the 12 inch incision.
Once the surgery was complete, the doctor said that the first sign that the intestine was working properly would be that my dad would start farting. For two days we sat around waiting and hoping for my dad to fart. I reminded him of all the times when I was a kid when he would fart and try to convince me that it was a bull-frog or some wild animal. After that I told him to visualize a stomach full of black beans and roasted garlic (a deadly combination for us McCormick men), but nothing seemed to help. He could only eat Jell-O, and farts just didn’t seem to want to come out.
This morning, however, was a different story. Like the sounding trumpet of a victorious battle march, a nearly silent but oh so wonderful fart escaped my dad’s body. Nobody actually heard it, but my dad announced “I think I just farted.” And then a couple moments later, as we all sat quietly listening and looking at each other, a slightly louder fart came out that was undeniable. “Ladies and Gentleman, my dad has farted!” The nurses poked their heads in the door, the doctor came running from down the hall, and everyone started singing and dancing. Well, not really, but I was ready to start doing cartwheels down the hallway.