The expertise

Lazy Boy Brewing Belgian
Bison Organic Gingerbread Ale
Ninkasi Oatis Oatmeal Stout
Hair of the Dog Fred from the Wood
67/1000: Fat Tire Amber Ale (in a can!)
JB: Should we start with the can?
PK: Yeah.
MM: Yeah.
JB: A familiar beer, in a can.
PK: Totally more delicious than in the bottle.
JB: It’s not a beer I usually even like.
MM: I’m usually drawn to it when I see it on tap.
WM: I never choose it, I always think it’s too sweet.
JB: Do you think it’s different here in the can?
WM: I would need a side-by-side comparison.
JB: I think the consensus is: better. More what I want to drink. It’s a little thinner, simpler. There’s less aftertaste.
PK: I was talking to this brewer in Reno the other day and he said the recipe doesn’t really matter, it’s the temperature, and all these other conditions. This says that it’s “can-conditioned” and that could have something to do with the taste.
JB: That’s what I’m looking for from you, Peter! The expertise. Feel free to lay on the expertise whenever the urge strikes you.
PK: That might be it for one day.

68/1000: Lazy Boy Brewing Belgian
JB: Is this just called “Belgian”? It says Belgian on his belly.
PK: Where’s this from?
JB: Lazy Boy is in Washington.
PK: Everett, Washington. It’s the 3rd or 4th biggest city in Washington.
MM: It smells a lot more interesting than the can beer.
JB: That’s the smell of Everett right there.
PK: The first time I went to a brewery tasting, they told us to take a big sniff of the beer and I actually stuck my nose in it and inhaled beer up my nose. It was really the full beer experience.
JB: It does smell like a Belgian.
MM: It tastes like an apple!
PK: It is really fruity.
MM: Tastes like a cider.
JB: How can a beer taste like a cider?
MM: It’s not too sweet, like a cider, though. Very fruity.
JB: Want to know how much fruit is in it? No fruit.
PK: It’s the yeast.
JB: I’m trying to think of what it would be tastiest with. Because I want to drink it again, but I’m not sure what with.
MM: The next time you’re hanging out with underage drinkers, and they want a cider, tell them, “No, guys. I’ve got something better.”
JB: The next time I’m hanging out with underage drinkers…? I think this would go really well with a nutty brown bread, like the Ken’s walnut bread.
MM: Willow, do you want some more?
WM: No.
JB: You don’t like it. How come?
WM: Well, now I’ll have another taste, and tell you. It just doesn’t taste like what beer is supposed to taste like! Maybe I’m a traditionalist.
69/1000: Bison Organic Gingerbread Ale
PK: I’m excited about this one. It could either be really good or weird and bad.
MM: This one looks dark like the bread you were talking about.
[we all smell it]
All: Whoa!
SR: It has a candy smell!
PK: Hmm, but it doesn’t taste like what it smells like.
JB: It’s not nearly as sweet as it smells.
PK: But the aftertaste is really sweet. It would go well with the fake cider right next to it.
SR: It tastes a lot better than it smells. I think the smell is distracting. The taste is just a dark beer. But the smell is overwhelming.
JB: I mean, I wouldn’t ever drink this again. It’s not so good that I can think of another time I’d want it.
PK: It’s a gimmicky beer, but I get it.
MM: I’m not a big fan of gingerbread, so maybe that’s what I don’t like about it.
JB: A beer named and brewed to be similar to a food you don’t like, it’s not likely to be a hit.
MM: I like it more than gingerbread, actually.
PK: I’m trying to figure out what kind of person would like this. A person who doesn’t like beer wouldn’t, because it is very beery.
MM: What kind of beer would it be if it didn’t have the gingerbread in it?
SR: A really dark brown ale.
JB: I think this beer is dumb. Because I don’t understand when I would ever buy it.
MM: You’re going on a sleigh ride. You’re tired of Jubelale.
JB: I’ll give you that. Next sleigh ride, this is my beer.
PK: I would drink this sitting on a bench in the park in the snow. You don’t have to be on a sleigh.
MM: In conditions in which a sleigh might be used, this would be a good beer.
JB: We’re going to settle into an oatmeal stout next, and that is going to feel like the beer for the season.
70/1000: Ninkasi Oatis Oatmeal Stout
JB: You ever known anyone named Otis? Seems really outdated.
PK: Maybe one of my grandfather’s friends. Man, this looks delicious.
JB: Should I snort some? Oh, it’s smooth. A little sweet, but very smooth.
MM: Not a lot of hops — “Just enough hops to balance the copious quantities of dark-roasted malts, and the addition of oatmeal, for a creamy smooth, quaffable stout.”
JB: Well, they nailed it in description.
PK: This is the best so far.
MM: It is creamy.
PK: It’s also quaffable.
JB: I’m going to quaff some right now.
PK: I’ve never used that term, because any times someone uses that term, it makes me uncomfortable. One time, my friend’s brother was drinking some wine and he said, “Oh, it’s quite quaffable.” And I just wanted to say, “Shut the fuck up.”
JB: Besides the quaffability factor…
PK: It’s sweeter than other stouts. Do you guys disagree?
JB: I don’t drink a lot of stouts.
PK: Do you quaff any?
MM: I’m going to start quaffing everything, no more drinking. Can you quaff water?
PK: It depends if it’s quaffable.
MM: We’re ruining this beer review.
JB: I usually drink beers that rely on hops more. This is farther out on the fringe of what beer even is.
PK: A lot of people say real beer doesn’t have hops.
JB: Who says that?
PK: Some brewers refuse to use hops, because it wasn’t originally used in beer. You’d have to drink it quickly, because it wouldn’t keep well without the hops.
SR: My turn. Well… it’s okay.
PK: What? Quaff some more!
SR: I like it, but I think I want stouts to have something else going on.
PK: Like coffee flavor or chocolate?
SR: Maybe I want to make a beer float with it.
JB: This would be the one. I’ve heard of people doing that, but it always sounds gross. But this would be the one, it’s got no distractions.
SR: If this were sweeter, it would be perfect. So a float…
JB: I think it’s plenty sweet as it is, but it would be fun to have as a float.
MM: I have to say I think I’m starting to get a little “affected” by the alcohol in these beers.
WM: Affected? Drunk?
JB: Is your judgment flagging?
MM: Not yet. I think I’m at the point where if I was at a party, I would slow down. But since I’m at a tasting, I’m going to maintain the same pace.
PK: Is this everybody’s favorite so far?
JB: It’s my favorite.
MM: I think the Lazy Boy is mine.
JB: That makes sense, because you like the tartness.

71/1000: Hair of the Dog Fred from the Wood
JB: I have to admit, I bought this, and I don’t know much about it. Which is dumb, because with Hair of the Dog, there’s usually something to know.
MM: But the weird thing is they have another beer named “Fred” but it’s not from the wood. Ooh, it smells nice. In the realm of tartness. [tastes] Whoa, I can see why you didn’t want this the other night when we were watching the Blazers game.
PK: Super tart! What the hell is this.
MM: It’s syrupy.
JB: Yeah, that’s not appealing to me.
MM: I don’t like that part of it.
JB: What is that?
WM: It tastes like medicine.
JB: It’s your medicine. Drink up!
MM: I thought it would be even more tart, from the smell, like the lambics we’ve had. But it’s not.
SR: What kind of beer is it?
JB: Don’t think of it as a beer, just as an alcoholic beverage.
SR: Oh, it smells terrible, like a rotten orange. I do not like it. I get that strong alcohol reaction, like if I had drunk a shot of something. But that’s weird because it’s kind of light and sharp. It tastes fermented like if you’d left something out unintentionally.
JB: I’m enjoying drinking it, but would I get it again?
SR: I ate a grapefruit once, and it had been sitting out a really long time… It had a similar taste.
JB: Now that I’ve stopped drinking it, and then coming back to it, it does really taste like grapefruit juice.