Celebrating Lincoln’s Birthday

36/1000: CPB IPA

J: What is CPB?
M: I asked: Captured by Porches.
J: Oh! The small-time guy we talked about another time.
M: We haven’t had this one before, have we?
J: I better check. [He checks.] We had their Amber.
M: Did we like it?
J: I better check. We found it sort of unremarkable but it might be due to the place in the flight, basically. So let’s drink.
M: That tastes good just because I’ve been wanting to drink beer for a long time.
J: This seems like a Mikey kind of IPA.
M: I’m liking it.
J: Does it do that thing in your cheeks?
M: No. A little bit, as a deep aftertaste.
J: I just asked to make fun of you.
M: I know. But people like Nicole find that information useful. I also think it’s sort of unremarkable.
J: But for you…
M: For me, in an IPA, that’s a good thing. Captured by Porches is becoming a safe choice. I could order anything and expect a drinkable beer.
J: Well, that’s a significant achievement. A lot of breweries have some shitty beers.
37/1000: Bison IPA
M: We did a Bison before, too, didn’t we?
J: I’m not sure what to say about this.
M: It’s different. It has a flavor.
J: Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to figure out.
M: But I don’t know that I like it.
J: Well, I like it. I don’t know if I like that particular flavor, but I like the beer. It takes a lot for me to not like a beer.
M: It tastes sort of dirty. I do find the beer entirely drinkable.
J: I expect to be a repeat customer of this.
M: You like the Bison more than the CPB?
J: Yeah.
[Mike brings more beers.]
J: Dark and light join forces!
M: The Cream is the…
38/1000: Fearless Cream Ale
M: And the other is the…
39/1000: Fort George Nut Red Ale
J: What is Nut Red?
M: I don’t know.
J: “Nut red.”
M: We should start with the cream.
J: [tastes] Not what I expected from a cream.
M: Why do I think of popcorn?
J: It’s got the tiniest bit of that Belgian vibe. It’s far more bitter than what I think of as a cream ale. Not that that makes it bitter.
M: I always think cream ale is going to be heavy.
J: I always think it’s going to be smooth.
M: Are you ever afraid of them?
J: No… what does that mean?
M: Cause this one’s fearless.
M: Would you get a keg of this cream ale? I only ask because it’s the only keg of cream ale you might get a keg of.
J: I think I would. I’d need to have Jessica taste it, too.
M: So that’s kind of exciting, for a cream ale.
J: Let’s drink some nut red. I can’t see you through it. Whoa, big flavor. Barleywine vibe.
M: It smells nutty, but I don’t get a taste of that.
J: It’s not required to taste nutty, or red, for that matter.
M: But I was surprised that it tasted nutty.
J: I think of a red ale as being…
M: Brighter?
J: Brighter and weaker. It’s a chewy one.
M: I’m not that into it. I’m trying to figure out why.
J: I don’t like the taste it leaves in my mouth. It’s sticking to the roof. It makes my spit taste bad.
M: Where’s Fort George? Washington
J: In the land of the Red Nuts.
M: Red skins, maybe? That’s a Washington thing.
40/1000: Fort George Coffee Girl Stout
M: Get it, like “Girl Scout?”
J: I never would have gotten that. [drinks] Whoo! That is a party in my mouth.
M: We should call Willow … This one’s “chocolatey.”
J: Yeah, it is. Smokiness. It’s got something in common with smoked salmon. Are you getting that?
M: Kind of, off the smell.
J: It’s also from the acidity.
M: It sort of tastes like the beer version of hot chocolate.
J: I’m going to have some hot chocolate when I get home. We have that illegal raw milk. Good for chocolate.
M: You should bring that into a cool coffee shop and have them steam it.
J: It would contaminate everything.
M: That’s cool. Just burped that beer. It was not a beer burp. This does not really taste that much like beer.
J: You lost me there.
M: It tastes like it’s made from a syrup.
J: The stickiness gets to you? I don’t think it’s as sweet as you’re making it out to be.
M: Well, I find it a little off-putting.
J: Well, that’s out of the way. I still say I liked it.
41/1000: Klamath Falls Imperial Cabin Fever Stout
J: Ooh, that’s smooth and a bit citrusy. This is easy drinkin’.
M: Much easier than the Fort George. I like that citrusy bit.
J: Big winner, this beer.
M: I thought I would like something called a coffee stout more than something about cabin fever. But don’t judge a beer by its clever name. People should get this beer. If they want a dark beer, or a stout, they should get this one.
J: It seems like a great place to start, at least.
M: This is certainly better than Guinness.
J: And it’s not way more challenging than Guinness.
M: There’s more flavor, but that’s not saying much. It’s funny — Guinness is only exotic in the context of shitty American beers.
J: Yeah, but I have the feeling that Klamath Falls Imperial Cabin Fever Stout is not going to overtake Guinness any time soon.
M: That’s probably true.
Just 959 to go!